1 00:00:25,264 --> 00:00:30,264 Provided by explosiveskull https://twitter.com/kaboomskull 2 00:00:34,885 --> 00:00:36,927 Dear Evan Hansen... 3 00:00:49,011 --> 00:00:52,178 ...today is going to be an amazing day, 4 00:00:52,303 --> 00:00:54,095 and here's why. 5 00:00:57,596 --> 00:01:01,762 {\an1}Because today, all you have to do is just be yourself. 6 00:01:03,554 --> 00:01:06,262 {\an1}But also confident. That's-that's important. 7 00:01:06,387 --> 00:01:08,262 {\an1}And interesting. Easy to talk to. 8 00:01:08,387 --> 00:01:10,054 Approachable. But mostly just be yourself. 9 00:01:10,179 --> 00:01:11,721 You know, that's number one, obviously. Be yourself. 10 00:01:11,846 --> 00:01:13,638 But, like, a confident version of yourself, 11 00:01:13,763 --> 00:01:15,930 like, approachable and interesting 12 00:01:16,055 --> 00:01:17,555 and not weird or anxious or depressed. 13 00:01:17,680 --> 00:01:19,263 {\an1}But you're not weird or anxious or depressed. 14 00:01:19,388 --> 00:01:20,888 I don't even know why you're bringing it up. 15 00:01:21,013 --> 00:01:22,055 {\an1}You can't be scared to talk to other people. 16 00:01:22,180 --> 00:01:23,638 You said that you'd be better. 17 00:01:23,763 --> 00:01:24,597 {\an1}You said this year would be different. 18 00:01:24,722 --> 00:01:25,763 You're overthinking it. 19 00:01:25,888 --> 00:01:27,347 Do you like having no friends? 20 00:01:27,472 --> 00:01:28,889 {\an1}All you have to do is just be yourself. 21 00:01:29,014 --> 00:01:31,764 ♪ I've learned to slam on the brake ♪ 22 00:01:31,889 --> 00:01:35,389 ♪ Before I even turn the key ♪ 23 00:01:35,514 --> 00:01:38,473 ♪ Before I make the mistake ♪ 24 00:01:38,598 --> 00:01:41,848 ♪ Before I lead with the worst of me ♪ 25 00:01:41,973 --> 00:01:45,099 ♪ Give them no reason to stare ♪ 26 00:01:45,224 --> 00:01:48,599 ♪ No slipping up if you slip away ♪ 27 00:01:48,724 --> 00:01:51,932 ♪ So I got nothing to share ♪ 28 00:01:52,057 --> 00:01:55,140 ♪ No, I got nothing to say ♪ 29 00:01:55,265 --> 00:01:57,390 ♪ Step out, step out of the sun ♪ 30 00:01:57,515 --> 00:02:00,183 ♪ If you keep getting burned ♪ 31 00:02:02,058 --> 00:02:06,516 ♪ Step out, step out of the sun because you've learned ♪ 32 00:02:06,641 --> 00:02:10,391 ♪ Because you've learned ♪ 33 00:02:10,516 --> 00:02:13,016 ♪ On the outside always looking in ♪ 34 00:02:13,141 --> 00:02:16,267 {\an1}♪ Will I ever be more than I've always been? ♪ 35 00:02:16,392 --> 00:02:19,892 {\an1}♪ 'Cause I'm tap, tap, tapping on the glass ♪ 36 00:02:20,017 --> 00:02:22,601 ♪ I'm waving through a window ♪ 37 00:02:22,726 --> 00:02:25,934 {\an1}♪ Oh, I try to speak, but nobody can hear ♪ 38 00:02:26,059 --> 00:02:30,226 {\an1}♪ So I wait around for an answer to appear ♪ 39 00:02:30,351 --> 00:02:33,143 {\an1}♪ While I'm watch, watch, watching people pass ♪ 40 00:02:33,268 --> 00:02:35,852 ♪ I'm waving through a window ♪ 41 00:02:35,977 --> 00:02:37,435 ♪ Oh ♪ 42 00:02:38,435 --> 00:02:40,685 ♪ Can anybody see? ♪ 43 00:02:40,810 --> 00:02:45,477 ♪ Is anybody waving back at me? ♪ 44 00:02:55,894 --> 00:02:57,519 So you just didn't eat last night? 45 00:02:57,644 --> 00:02:59,353 I wasn't hungry. 46 00:02:59,478 --> 00:03:01,019 You're a senior in high school. 47 00:03:01,144 --> 00:03:02,561 You need to be able to order dinner for yourself. 48 00:03:02,686 --> 00:03:03,894 You can do it all online. 49 00:03:04,020 --> 00:03:05,729 You don't have to talk to anybody. 50 00:03:05,854 --> 00:03:07,562 Okay, well, that's not, that's not true, actually, though, 51 00:03:07,687 --> 00:03:09,270 because, um, the credit card's expired, so you have to meet 52 00:03:09,395 --> 00:03:11,229 {\an1}the delivery person at the door, you know? 53 00:03:11,354 --> 00:03:12,520 {\an1}You have to pay them with cash at the door. 54 00:03:12,645 --> 00:03:13,937 You have to greet them. 55 00:03:14,062 --> 00:03:15,312 {\an1}You know, you have to figure out the right, 56 00:03:15,437 --> 00:03:17,395 the right, um... the-the proper greeting. 57 00:03:17,520 --> 00:03:18,562 Okay. 58 00:03:19,938 --> 00:03:21,813 This is what you're supposed to be working on, sweetheart, 59 00:03:21,938 --> 00:03:23,480 with Dr. Sherman. 60 00:03:23,605 --> 00:03:25,730 Have you been doing those letters he wants you to do? 61 00:03:25,855 --> 00:03:27,271 "Dear Evan Hansen." 62 00:03:27,396 --> 00:03:30,521 {\an1}I mean, I've definitely... I-I've been trying to. 63 00:03:30,646 --> 00:03:31,688 Those letters are important, honey. 64 00:03:31,813 --> 00:03:33,313 You have to keep working. 65 00:03:33,438 --> 00:03:35,939 We can't go back to where you were last year, right? 66 00:03:36,064 --> 00:03:37,731 Um, you have an appointment this afternoon. 67 00:03:37,856 --> 00:03:39,272 I'm working till 6:00, 68 00:03:39,397 --> 00:03:41,689 so you're gonna have to take the bus. 69 00:03:41,814 --> 00:03:43,231 Hey. 70 00:03:43,356 --> 00:03:44,772 I thought you could go around 71 00:03:44,897 --> 00:03:47,314 and ask all the other kids to sign your cast. 72 00:03:47,439 --> 00:03:48,814 Perfect icebreaker, right? 73 00:03:50,856 --> 00:03:53,482 - What happened to your shirt? - There was a stain on it. 74 00:03:53,607 --> 00:03:55,482 - Wha... But it's brand-new. - Yes, I know. 75 00:03:55,607 --> 00:03:57,648 I was... I'm so mad. 76 00:03:57,773 --> 00:04:00,148 ♪ We start with stars in our eyes ♪ 77 00:04:01,357 --> 00:04:04,440 ♪ We start believing that we belong ♪ 78 00:04:04,565 --> 00:04:07,690 ♪ But every sun doesn't rise ♪ 79 00:04:07,815 --> 00:04:11,108 {\an1}♪ And no one tells you where you went wrong ♪ 80 00:04:11,233 --> 00:04:13,608 ♪ Step out, step out of the sun ♪ 81 00:04:13,733 --> 00:04:15,816 ♪ If you keep getting burned ♪ 82 00:04:17,774 --> 00:04:21,733 ♪ Step out, step out of the sun because you've learned ♪ 83 00:04:21,858 --> 00:04:24,150 ♪ Because you've learned ♪ 84 00:04:24,275 --> 00:04:26,984 ♪ On the outside always looking in ♪ 85 00:04:27,109 --> 00:04:29,775 {\an1}♪ Will I ever be more than I've always been? ♪ 86 00:04:29,900 --> 00:04:33,942 {\an1}♪ 'Cause I'm tap, tap, tapping on the glass ♪ 87 00:04:34,067 --> 00:04:36,234 ♪ Waving through a window ♪ 88 00:04:36,359 --> 00:04:40,068 {\an1}♪ Oh, I try to speak, but nobody can hear ♪ 89 00:04:40,193 --> 00:04:43,193 {\an1}♪ So I wait around for an answer to appear ♪ 90 00:04:43,318 --> 00:04:47,068 {\an1}♪ While I'm watch, watch, watching people pass ♪ 91 00:04:47,193 --> 00:04:49,360 ♪ Waving through a window ♪ 92 00:04:49,485 --> 00:04:50,901 ♪ Oh ♪ 93 00:04:51,901 --> 00:04:54,110 ♪ Can anybody see? ♪ 94 00:04:54,235 --> 00:04:56,611 ♪ Is anybody waving? ♪ 95 00:04:56,736 --> 00:04:57,986 ♪ When you're falling in a forest ♪ 96 00:04:58,111 --> 00:05:00,069 ♪ And there's nobody around ♪ 97 00:05:00,194 --> 00:05:03,152 ♪ Do you ever really crash or even make a sound? ♪ 98 00:05:03,277 --> 00:05:04,694 ♪ When you're falling in a forest ♪ 99 00:05:04,819 --> 00:05:06,569 ♪ And there's nobody around ♪ 100 00:05:06,694 --> 00:05:09,777 ♪ Do you ever really crash or even make a sound? ♪ 101 00:05:09,902 --> 00:05:11,402 ♪ When you're falling in a forest ♪ 102 00:05:11,527 --> 00:05:13,195 ♪ And there's nobody around ♪ 103 00:05:13,320 --> 00:05:16,028 ♪ Do you ever really crash or even make a sound? ♪ 104 00:05:16,153 --> 00:05:18,070 ♪ When you're falling in a forest ♪ 105 00:05:18,195 --> 00:05:19,862 ♪ And there's nobody around ♪ 106 00:05:19,987 --> 00:05:23,237 ♪ Do you ever really crash or even make a sound? ♪ 107 00:05:23,362 --> 00:05:26,237 ♪ Did I even make a sound? Did I even make a sound? ♪ 108 00:05:26,362 --> 00:05:27,695 ♪ It's like I never made a sound ♪ 109 00:05:27,821 --> 00:05:30,863 ♪ Will I ever make a sound? ♪ 110 00:05:30,988 --> 00:05:33,571 ♪ On the outside always looking in ♪ 111 00:05:33,696 --> 00:05:36,821 {\an1}♪ Will I ever be more than I've always been? ♪ 112 00:05:36,946 --> 00:05:40,404 {\an1}♪ 'Cause I'm tap, tap, tapping on the glass ♪ 113 00:05:40,529 --> 00:05:42,488 ♪ Waving through a window ♪ 114 00:05:42,613 --> 00:05:46,405 {\an1}♪ Oh, I try to speak, but nobody can hear ♪ 115 00:05:46,530 --> 00:05:49,780 {\an1}♪ So I wait around for an answer to appear ♪ 116 00:05:49,905 --> 00:05:53,780 {\an1}♪ While I'm watch, watch, watching people pass ♪ 117 00:05:53,905 --> 00:05:56,072 ♪ Waving through a window ♪ 118 00:05:56,197 --> 00:05:57,572 ♪ Oh ♪ 119 00:05:58,655 --> 00:06:00,948 ♪ Can anybody see? ♪ 120 00:06:01,073 --> 00:06:06,531 ♪ Is anybody waving back at me? ♪ 121 00:06:06,656 --> 00:06:09,948 ♪ Is anybody waving? ♪ 122 00:06:10,073 --> 00:06:13,365 ♪ Waving, waving ♪ 123 00:06:13,490 --> 00:06:15,698 ♪ Whoa... ♪ 124 00:06:15,824 --> 00:06:21,657 ♪ Whoa. ♪ 125 00:06:21,782 --> 00:06:23,241 {\an1}♪ Let's go, Bobcats, let's go... ♪ 126 00:06:25,366 --> 00:06:26,491 {\an1}Evan. 127 00:06:28,032 --> 00:06:29,157 What? 128 00:06:29,282 --> 00:06:30,616 It's Zoe Murphy 129 00:06:30,741 --> 00:06:33,325 in that hot band shirt you love so much. 130 00:06:33,450 --> 00:06:34,783 Can you just... Can you please stop? 131 00:06:34,908 --> 00:06:36,492 Well, hey, maybe she's into you, too. 132 00:06:36,617 --> 00:06:37,992 Maybe you should talk to her, tell her how you feel. 133 00:06:38,117 --> 00:06:39,825 I've tried talking to her. 134 00:06:39,950 --> 00:06:41,283 Really? 135 00:06:41,408 --> 00:06:43,658 Yes. Yeah, I... 136 00:06:43,783 --> 00:06:45,283 I stayed afterwards, um, last year 137 00:06:45,408 --> 00:06:47,075 after the spring jazz band concert, 138 00:06:47,200 --> 00:06:48,701 but, um, I didn't go up to her 139 00:06:48,826 --> 00:06:50,701 because I was worried that my hands were sweaty. 140 00:06:50,826 --> 00:06:52,284 Which they weren't even, they weren't even that sweaty. 141 00:06:52,409 --> 00:06:53,784 {\an1}I just... I was worried that they were sweaty, 142 00:06:53,909 --> 00:06:55,409 and sometimes worrying that they're sweaty 143 00:06:55,534 --> 00:06:57,076 makes them sweaty, so I just went to the bathroom 144 00:06:57,201 --> 00:06:58,534 and I put 'em under, like, the hand dryer thing, 145 00:06:58,659 --> 00:07:00,118 but then they were still sweaty. 146 00:07:00,243 --> 00:07:02,451 {\an1}They were just, um... They were just also warm. 147 00:07:04,077 --> 00:07:05,869 I was kidding. 148 00:07:05,994 --> 00:07:07,410 You obviously should not talk to her. 149 00:07:07,535 --> 00:07:08,910 You are a literal disaster. 150 00:07:16,869 --> 00:07:18,785 Go, Bobcats! 151 00:07:24,370 --> 00:07:26,245 Go, Bobcats. 152 00:07:26,370 --> 00:07:27,328 So awesome. 153 00:07:27,453 --> 00:07:29,078 So awesome, everyone. 154 00:07:29,203 --> 00:07:30,453 Phenomenal, really. 155 00:07:30,578 --> 00:07:32,911 You know what's not phenomenal? 156 00:07:33,036 --> 00:07:34,328 Deforestation. 157 00:07:34,453 --> 00:07:36,621 So, what happened to your arm exactly? 158 00:07:36,746 --> 00:07:39,287 Um, I was climbing a tree, and I fell. 159 00:07:39,412 --> 00:07:40,829 It was stupid. 160 00:07:40,954 --> 00:07:42,912 {\an1}You fell out of a tree? What are you, five? 161 00:07:43,037 --> 00:07:44,829 Well, um... 162 00:07:44,954 --> 00:07:46,704 So, actually, I-I worked this summer 163 00:07:46,829 --> 00:07:49,621 as an apprentice park ranger at Ellison State Park. 164 00:07:51,705 --> 00:07:53,913 {\an1}It's a funny story, though, because... 165 00:07:54,038 --> 00:07:55,830 there was, like, this solid ten minutes after I fell 166 00:07:55,955 --> 00:07:57,580 where I just lay there on the ground, 167 00:07:57,705 --> 00:07:59,872 {\an1}um, waiting for someone to come get me, you know? 168 00:07:59,997 --> 00:08:01,580 I was like, "Any second now." You know? 169 00:08:01,705 --> 00:08:02,997 {\an1}I just kept... I, like... I was saying to myself, 170 00:08:03,122 --> 00:08:04,663 "Any second now. Here they come." So... 171 00:08:04,788 --> 00:08:05,955 Did they? 172 00:08:06,080 --> 00:08:07,247 No, nobody came. 173 00:08:07,372 --> 00:08:10,039 That's the, um... That's what's funny. 174 00:08:10,164 --> 00:08:11,373 That's not funny. 175 00:08:11,498 --> 00:08:12,873 Model U.N.... 176 00:08:12,998 --> 00:08:15,289 Well, anyways, um, how was... Did you, um... 177 00:08:15,414 --> 00:08:16,748 How was camp? 178 00:08:16,873 --> 00:08:20,456 Well, I put on 13 pounds of pure muscle. 179 00:08:20,581 --> 00:08:23,248 Also, I hooked up with this Brazilian dude 180 00:08:23,373 --> 00:08:26,207 who is literally a supermodel. 181 00:08:27,457 --> 00:08:29,415 So, yeah, hope that answers your question. 182 00:08:29,540 --> 00:08:33,582 So let's have Mother Nature's back so that she'll have ours. 183 00:08:41,625 --> 00:08:43,541 Yeah! Yeah! 184 00:08:43,666 --> 00:08:45,916 All right, thank you, Alana. Very inspirational. 185 00:08:46,041 --> 00:08:47,750 All right, so let's have a great year, 186 00:08:47,875 --> 00:08:50,041 and, uh, go, Bobcats! 187 00:08:59,709 --> 00:09:02,667 Hey, um... 188 00:09:02,792 --> 00:09:04,251 would you want to sign my cast? 189 00:09:04,376 --> 00:09:05,917 Uh, you could, you could be the first. 190 00:09:06,042 --> 00:09:07,834 Why would I do that? 191 00:09:08,834 --> 00:09:11,793 Well, I just... I thought, um, because we're friends and... 192 00:09:11,918 --> 00:09:13,502 We're family friends, Evan. 193 00:09:13,627 --> 00:09:14,877 That's an entirely different thing. 194 00:09:15,002 --> 00:09:16,460 Please respect that. 195 00:09:27,919 --> 00:09:29,753 Connor, I'm loving this manicure. 196 00:09:29,878 --> 00:09:32,253 - Very school shooter chic. - You're such an idiot. 197 00:09:32,378 --> 00:09:33,544 That is so not... 198 00:09:34,919 --> 00:09:36,919 {\an1}♪ Here we go, Bobcats, here we go. ♪ 199 00:09:43,712 --> 00:09:45,795 You think that's funny? 200 00:09:45,920 --> 00:09:48,170 What? No. Not-not at all. 201 00:09:50,170 --> 00:09:52,045 Then stop laughing! 202 00:10:02,463 --> 00:10:03,921 {\an1}Hey. 203 00:10:07,588 --> 00:10:09,088 I'm sorry about my brother. 204 00:10:09,213 --> 00:10:10,963 He's a psycho. 205 00:10:12,630 --> 00:10:14,546 Evan, right? 206 00:10:15,547 --> 00:10:16,672 {\an1}Evan? 207 00:10:17,631 --> 00:10:20,797 {\an1}That-That's your, that's your name? 208 00:10:20,922 --> 00:10:22,422 Y-Yeah, it is. It is. Sorry. 209 00:10:22,547 --> 00:10:24,464 It's Evan. It's Evan. I'm sorry. 210 00:10:24,589 --> 00:10:26,381 Why are you sorry? 211 00:10:26,506 --> 00:10:29,131 'Cause you s-s... you said Evan, and then I said it, you know? 212 00:10:29,256 --> 00:10:31,381 I just repeated it, which is, um... 213 00:10:31,506 --> 00:10:34,132 That's just really annoying when people do that, so... 214 00:10:36,090 --> 00:10:37,507 I'm Zoe. 215 00:10:45,173 --> 00:10:47,924 Sorry. I should... I think... Sorry. 216 00:11:07,217 --> 00:11:09,009 Dear Evan Hansen, 217 00:11:09,134 --> 00:11:12,217 turns out this wasn't an amazing day after all. 218 00:11:13,217 --> 00:11:16,092 This isn't gonna be an amazing week or an amazing year 219 00:11:16,217 --> 00:11:18,467 because why would it be? 220 00:11:22,926 --> 00:11:24,968 Oh, I know. Because there's Zoe. 221 00:11:25,093 --> 00:11:29,260 Who I don't even know and who doesn't know me, but... 222 00:11:31,426 --> 00:11:33,760 Maybe if I did, maybe if I could just talk to her, 223 00:11:33,885 --> 00:11:36,136 maybe things would be better. 224 00:11:38,052 --> 00:11:39,469 Or... 225 00:11:40,844 --> 00:11:42,886 ...maybe nothing would be different at all. 226 00:11:45,094 --> 00:11:47,469 I wish everything was different. 227 00:11:47,594 --> 00:11:49,261 I wish I was different. 228 00:11:49,386 --> 00:11:51,052 I wish I was part of something. 229 00:11:51,177 --> 00:11:55,178 I wish that anything I said mattered to anyone. 230 00:11:56,595 --> 00:11:59,470 But it doesn't, and it never did. 231 00:12:01,428 --> 00:12:03,303 And it never will. 232 00:12:05,678 --> 00:12:10,929 I mean, face it, would anyone even notice if I just... 233 00:12:11,054 --> 00:12:13,138 disappeared tomorrow? 234 00:12:13,263 --> 00:12:16,846 {\an1}Sincerely, your best and most dearest friend, 235 00:12:16,971 --> 00:12:18,513 Me. 236 00:12:25,805 --> 00:12:27,222 {\an1}Hey. 237 00:12:27,347 --> 00:12:28,847 What happened to your arm? 238 00:12:32,097 --> 00:12:33,347 Um... 239 00:12:34,805 --> 00:12:36,514 I was climbing a tree, and I fell. 240 00:12:36,639 --> 00:12:38,639 You fell out of a tree? 241 00:12:41,015 --> 00:12:43,348 That's the saddest thing I've ever heard. 242 00:12:45,056 --> 00:12:46,515 I know. 243 00:12:54,306 --> 00:12:57,474 S-Sorry, um, I think I accidentally printed something. 244 00:12:57,599 --> 00:12:59,557 Yeah, we're all waiting. 245 00:13:01,057 --> 00:13:02,932 Um, no one signed your cast. 246 00:13:04,182 --> 00:13:05,474 No, I-I know. 247 00:13:05,599 --> 00:13:06,891 I'll sign it. 248 00:13:07,891 --> 00:13:09,391 Oh, you don't... you really don't have to... 249 00:13:09,516 --> 00:13:10,724 Do you have a Sharpie? 250 00:13:10,849 --> 00:13:13,475 Oh, um, I don't. Shoot. 251 00:13:13,600 --> 00:13:15,267 Oh, here's one. 252 00:13:17,767 --> 00:13:19,183 Nice. 253 00:13:33,809 --> 00:13:36,559 Wow, that's great. 254 00:13:36,684 --> 00:13:39,559 Now we can both pretend we have friends. 255 00:13:45,935 --> 00:13:47,685 Uh, "Dear Evan Hansen." Here you go. 256 00:13:47,810 --> 00:13:49,394 Y-Yeah, that's mine. That's mine. 257 00:13:49,519 --> 00:13:51,727 - I'll... I can take it, sorry. - "Because there's Zoe..." 258 00:13:52,894 --> 00:13:54,269 Is this about my sister? 259 00:13:54,394 --> 00:13:57,060 What? No, no. Who's-who's your sister? 260 00:13:57,185 --> 00:13:59,978 - You wanted me to find this? - What? 261 00:14:00,103 --> 00:14:02,978 You saw I was here, so you started writing this 262 00:14:03,103 --> 00:14:04,436 - and you started talking to me. - No. 263 00:14:04,561 --> 00:14:05,728 No, you started talking to me. 264 00:14:05,853 --> 00:14:07,145 So that I would read some creepy shit 265 00:14:07,270 --> 00:14:09,145 about my sister and freak out, right? 266 00:14:09,270 --> 00:14:10,811 - Why would I do that? - So then you can tell everyone 267 00:14:10,936 --> 00:14:13,020 that I'm crazy. Right? 268 00:14:13,145 --> 00:14:15,854 - Right?! - Gentlemen! 269 00:14:17,312 --> 00:14:19,021 No, I really... 270 00:14:19,146 --> 00:14:21,771 Look, I really need that back, so can... 271 00:14:21,896 --> 00:14:23,729 {\an1}Look, can you please just give it back? 272 00:14:30,396 --> 00:14:32,230 {\an1}Just-just please don't show it to anyone. 273 00:14:32,355 --> 00:14:33,563 Connor! 274 00:14:45,105 --> 00:14:46,772 Come on. 275 00:14:48,356 --> 00:14:50,564 Shit, shit. 276 00:15:27,608 --> 00:15:28,983 Hi. 277 00:15:29,108 --> 00:15:30,733 {\an1}Hi, honey. I'm so sorry. 278 00:15:30,858 --> 00:15:32,275 Erica called in at the last minute with a stomach bug, 279 00:15:32,400 --> 00:15:34,733 and there's only one other nurse on tonight, 280 00:15:34,858 --> 00:15:36,859 {\an1}so I-I volunteered to take her shift. 281 00:15:36,984 --> 00:15:38,567 {\an1}I hope you weren't waiting for me to eat. 282 00:15:38,692 --> 00:15:41,234 {\an1}- No, I already ate. - Um, it's just they, uh, 283 00:15:41,359 --> 00:15:42,942 they announced more budget cuts this morning, 284 00:15:43,067 --> 00:15:44,276 so anything I can do to show 285 00:15:44,401 --> 00:15:45,526 that I'm a team player, you know? 286 00:15:45,651 --> 00:15:47,567 - How was your day? - Fine. 287 00:15:47,692 --> 00:15:49,151 It was, it was pretty good. 288 00:15:49,276 --> 00:15:51,735 Yeah? You know, I-I texted with Meera this morning, 289 00:15:51,860 --> 00:15:53,485 and she said that Jared was 290 00:15:53,610 --> 00:15:55,610 really looking forward to seeing you and reconnecting. 291 00:15:55,735 --> 00:15:57,193 I thought that was nice. 292 00:15:57,318 --> 00:15:59,652 Yeah, he's so nice. 293 00:15:59,777 --> 00:16:01,360 - How was Dr. Sherman? - Pretty good. 294 00:16:01,485 --> 00:16:03,235 Any change to your meds? 295 00:16:04,818 --> 00:16:06,360 {\an1}Um, no. 296 00:16:06,485 --> 00:16:08,653 {\an1}Oh, God, here he comes. Um, all right, I-I-I... 297 00:16:08,778 --> 00:16:10,111 All right, love you. Bye. 298 00:16:10,236 --> 00:16:12,486 Okay, I love you... 299 00:16:12,611 --> 00:16:13,986 too. 300 00:16:16,986 --> 00:16:18,694 A letter to yourself. I mean, what is that, 301 00:16:18,819 --> 00:16:20,444 like some kind of sex thing? 302 00:16:20,569 --> 00:16:22,236 No. No, it's not a sex thing. 303 00:16:22,361 --> 00:16:23,904 It's... It was an assignment from my therapist. 304 00:16:24,029 --> 00:16:25,779 Ew. Why-why are you telling me this? 305 00:16:25,904 --> 00:16:27,154 Well, I didn't know who else to tell. 306 00:16:27,279 --> 00:16:29,279 You're my only f... family friend. 307 00:16:29,404 --> 00:16:30,737 Oh, that's sad. 308 00:16:30,862 --> 00:16:32,529 Look, Connor isn't here again today. 309 00:16:32,654 --> 00:16:34,320 That's-that's three days in a row. 310 00:16:34,445 --> 00:16:36,195 And h-he hasn't done anything with it yet, you know, 311 00:16:36,320 --> 00:16:37,487 like put it online or whatever, 312 00:16:37,612 --> 00:16:39,238 because I've-I've been checking. 313 00:16:39,363 --> 00:16:41,780 So, you know, maybe he just... maybe he forgot, right? 314 00:16:41,905 --> 00:16:43,655 Right. Right. 315 00:16:43,780 --> 00:16:45,196 Or maybe he didn't, 316 00:16:45,321 --> 00:16:46,780 {\an1}because he's definitely gonna put it online. 317 00:16:46,905 --> 00:16:48,863 Dude, Connor Murphy is batshit. 318 00:16:48,988 --> 00:16:50,988 Don't you remember when he threw a printer at Mrs. G 319 00:16:51,113 --> 00:16:53,530 in the second grade because he couldn't be line leader? 320 00:16:53,655 --> 00:16:55,197 Like, he was seven. 321 00:16:55,322 --> 00:16:57,406 Just imagine what he's capable of now. 322 00:16:57,531 --> 00:16:59,322 Evan Hansen, please report 323 00:16:59,447 --> 00:17:00,656 to Mr. Howard's office. 324 00:17:00,781 --> 00:17:02,572 Oh, damn. 325 00:17:08,031 --> 00:17:09,989 Evan. 326 00:17:13,407 --> 00:17:16,782 Connor Murphy's mother and stepfather are here to see you. 327 00:17:16,907 --> 00:17:18,532 They want to speak in private. 328 00:17:40,991 --> 00:17:42,699 Hi. 329 00:17:44,575 --> 00:17:45,700 Hello. 330 00:17:47,659 --> 00:17:49,367 Why don't you go ahead, honey. 331 00:17:49,492 --> 00:17:51,284 I'm going as fast as I can. 332 00:17:51,409 --> 00:17:54,367 Well, that's not what I said, is it? 333 00:17:57,159 --> 00:17:58,825 This is... 334 00:18:00,826 --> 00:18:03,785 Connor wanted you to have this. 335 00:18:17,077 --> 00:18:19,411 Yeah, we didn't know you were friends. 336 00:18:19,536 --> 00:18:20,952 Oh, well, we didn't think 337 00:18:21,077 --> 00:18:23,827 Connor had any friends, frankly, and... 338 00:18:23,952 --> 00:18:26,619 and then we see this note, and it seems to suggest 339 00:18:26,744 --> 00:18:29,077 {\an1}pretty clearly that you and Connor were, uh... 340 00:18:29,202 --> 00:18:31,828 Or at least for Connor... 341 00:18:31,953 --> 00:18:33,703 {\an1}"Dear Evan Hansen." He addressed it to you. 342 00:18:33,828 --> 00:18:35,953 He wrote it to you. 343 00:18:36,078 --> 00:18:38,703 These are the words that he wanted to share with you. 344 00:18:41,703 --> 00:18:44,370 His last words. 345 00:18:46,578 --> 00:18:48,829 Connor took his own life. 346 00:18:53,038 --> 00:18:54,288 He what? 347 00:18:55,288 --> 00:18:57,621 This is all we found with him. 348 00:18:57,746 --> 00:19:00,829 He had it folded up in his pocket. 349 00:19:05,289 --> 00:19:07,580 But this is... 350 00:19:07,705 --> 00:19:09,705 I'm sorry, Connor didn't... He... 351 00:19:09,830 --> 00:19:11,080 He didn't write this. 352 00:19:11,205 --> 00:19:13,455 Connor didn't, Connor didn't write this. 353 00:19:13,580 --> 00:19:15,789 What-what does that mean? 354 00:19:15,914 --> 00:19:17,664 Well, he's obviously in shock. 355 00:19:17,789 --> 00:19:19,623 - I mean, if Connor didn't write this... - I'm so sorry. 356 00:19:19,748 --> 00:19:21,581 Can I just... I should probably go, please. 357 00:19:21,706 --> 00:19:23,123 {\an1}No, you don't understand. This is all that we have. 358 00:19:23,248 --> 00:19:26,040 {\an1}This is the only thing that we have left. 359 00:19:26,165 --> 00:19:28,665 - Cynthia, listen to me. - No. No. Don't-don't go. 360 00:19:28,790 --> 00:19:30,415 {\an1}Okay, then you take it. Please take it, okay? 361 00:19:30,540 --> 00:19:31,456 No. No, don't go. 362 00:19:31,581 --> 00:19:33,956 Don't. Please stay. Please. 363 00:19:39,707 --> 00:19:42,457 His best and most dearest friend. 364 00:19:56,333 --> 00:19:58,750 That's-that's Connor. 365 00:19:58,875 --> 00:19:59,958 Connor Murphy. 366 00:20:02,292 --> 00:20:03,667 Holy shit. 367 00:20:03,792 --> 00:20:05,292 They invited me for dinner. 368 00:20:05,417 --> 00:20:07,043 They want to know more stuff about Connor and me, 369 00:20:07,168 --> 00:20:09,168 about our... friendship. 370 00:20:09,293 --> 00:20:11,126 - A-And you said yes? - I froze. 371 00:20:11,251 --> 00:20:13,834 Well... what are you gonna tell them? 372 00:20:13,959 --> 00:20:15,293 I mean, the truth. 373 00:20:15,418 --> 00:20:16,876 I-I don't know, man. 374 00:20:17,001 --> 00:20:18,501 {\an1}I mean, are you really gonna tell these people 375 00:20:18,626 --> 00:20:20,043 that the only thing they have left of their son 376 00:20:20,168 --> 00:20:22,334 is a sex letter that you wrote to yourself? 377 00:20:22,459 --> 00:20:23,627 {\an1}Hey. 378 00:20:23,752 --> 00:20:26,002 I'm so sorry. 379 00:20:26,127 --> 00:20:27,919 What the hell was that? 380 00:20:28,044 --> 00:20:30,419 I don't know. 381 00:20:30,544 --> 00:20:32,210 Oh, my God, they were so sad, his parents. 382 00:20:32,335 --> 00:20:35,669 I mean, his-his mom was just... 383 00:20:37,085 --> 00:20:39,253 I've never seen anyone so sad before. 384 00:20:46,878 --> 00:20:48,920 I have to tell them. 385 00:21:05,879 --> 00:21:07,129 You're early. 386 00:21:08,129 --> 00:21:10,379 Oh. S-Sorry. 387 00:21:22,422 --> 00:21:24,088 Sit. 388 00:21:29,089 --> 00:21:31,131 I hope you're hungry. 389 00:21:47,757 --> 00:21:49,132 {\an1}So... 390 00:21:50,757 --> 00:21:52,340 ...you and Connor. 391 00:21:52,465 --> 00:21:54,590 You probably spent a lot of time together, I bet. 392 00:21:56,757 --> 00:21:59,216 So, um, not... 393 00:21:59,341 --> 00:22:01,175 not really, actually. 394 00:22:01,300 --> 00:22:04,175 - Uh, the thing is that I... - We looked through his phone. 395 00:22:05,300 --> 00:22:08,175 His texts, emails. 396 00:22:08,300 --> 00:22:09,591 We didn't find anything from you. 397 00:22:09,716 --> 00:22:10,925 Yeah, no, I know. 398 00:22:11,050 --> 00:22:12,175 - I know. - He set up different accounts, 399 00:22:12,300 --> 00:22:13,966 ones we couldn't find. 400 00:22:14,091 --> 00:22:15,634 He knew you read his emails. 401 00:22:15,759 --> 00:22:17,967 Well, somebody had to be the bad guy. 402 00:22:18,092 --> 00:22:20,634 Well, if you did have any 403 00:22:20,759 --> 00:22:23,759 {\an1}emails or conversations between the two of you, 404 00:22:23,884 --> 00:22:26,759 we'd love to see anything. 405 00:22:26,884 --> 00:22:28,842 - Well... - Yeah, it's-it's weird. 406 00:22:28,967 --> 00:22:30,968 Th-The only time I saw you two together was 407 00:22:31,093 --> 00:22:33,718 when he was screaming in your face at school last week. 408 00:22:33,843 --> 00:22:35,010 He was screaming at you? 409 00:22:35,135 --> 00:22:36,427 Yeah, yeah, um... 410 00:22:36,552 --> 00:22:38,302 Well, that wasn't very nice. 411 00:22:38,427 --> 00:22:41,427 Well, Connor wasn't very nice, so that actually makes sense. 412 00:22:44,177 --> 00:22:46,260 {\an1}I think that everybody at this table can agree 413 00:22:46,385 --> 00:22:48,261 that Connor was, um... 414 00:22:49,636 --> 00:22:51,886 ...a complicated person. 415 00:22:52,011 --> 00:22:54,094 No, he was a bad person. 416 00:22:54,219 --> 00:22:57,053 - Zoe, please. - Don't pretend like you don't agree with me. 417 00:22:57,178 --> 00:22:59,594 You refuse to remember any of the good things. 418 00:22:59,719 --> 00:23:02,929 Because there were no good things. 419 00:23:03,054 --> 00:23:05,720 What-what were the good things? 420 00:23:05,845 --> 00:23:07,470 {\an1}I'm not having this conversation 421 00:23:07,595 --> 00:23:10,512 - in front of our guest. - No, tell us the good things. 422 00:23:10,637 --> 00:23:12,262 What were the good things? 423 00:23:12,387 --> 00:23:14,137 - Family day at Sunny Glen? - Zoe! 424 00:23:14,262 --> 00:23:15,595 This is not the time. 425 00:23:15,720 --> 00:23:17,095 Who knew rehab could be so much fun? 426 00:23:17,220 --> 00:23:18,554 There were good things. 427 00:23:19,388 --> 00:23:22,263 I'm not the only one. 428 00:23:22,388 --> 00:23:23,638 You remember, right? 429 00:23:27,596 --> 00:23:28,596 Right. 430 00:23:28,721 --> 00:23:30,013 Of course. 431 00:23:30,138 --> 00:23:31,680 Yes, of course there were good things. 432 00:23:31,805 --> 00:23:34,513 Tell us something. 433 00:23:34,638 --> 00:23:35,847 Please, Evan. 434 00:23:39,764 --> 00:23:41,639 Right, um... 435 00:23:41,764 --> 00:23:43,597 S... Uh, Connor and I... 436 00:23:45,139 --> 00:23:47,389 Uh, I d... I don't know, um... 437 00:23:49,431 --> 00:23:51,140 We had a really great... 438 00:23:51,265 --> 00:23:54,182 we had a really great time together, um... 439 00:23:54,307 --> 00:23:56,057 this one day recently. 440 00:23:56,182 --> 00:24:00,098 {\an1}That's something good, um, that I remember. 441 00:24:00,223 --> 00:24:01,598 That day. 442 00:24:01,723 --> 00:24:03,307 Um... 443 00:24:03,432 --> 00:24:05,682 Yeah, that awesome day at the... 444 00:24:06,640 --> 00:24:08,474 ...um, trees. 445 00:24:10,558 --> 00:24:12,641 - Trees? - Never mind, never mind. 446 00:24:12,766 --> 00:24:15,474 I'm sorry, I don't, I don't... I shouldn't have said anything, 447 00:24:15,599 --> 00:24:17,224 and I-I knew it was stupid, so I'm sorry... 448 00:24:17,349 --> 00:24:18,641 You don't mean the orchard, do you? 449 00:24:21,974 --> 00:24:24,309 He took you to the apple orchard? 450 00:24:24,434 --> 00:24:26,392 - When? - Uh, once. 451 00:24:26,517 --> 00:24:27,809 Just-just once. That once. 452 00:24:27,934 --> 00:24:30,434 I thought that place closed years ago. 453 00:24:30,559 --> 00:24:32,475 Well, the hiking trails are still open though, aren't they? 454 00:24:32,600 --> 00:24:35,059 We used to go to the orchard all of the time. 455 00:24:35,184 --> 00:24:36,892 We'd do picnics there. 456 00:24:37,017 --> 00:24:38,684 Do you remember that, Zoe? 457 00:24:38,810 --> 00:24:40,351 Yeah, I do. 458 00:24:40,476 --> 00:24:42,893 And you and Connor would fly that little toy plane 459 00:24:43,018 --> 00:24:45,060 until you crashed it into the creek. 460 00:24:46,685 --> 00:24:48,185 That was an emergency landing. 461 00:24:48,310 --> 00:24:51,143 I can't believe that he took you there. 462 00:24:51,268 --> 00:24:53,143 I bet you had fun. 463 00:24:53,268 --> 00:24:56,186 I bet the two of you... I... 464 00:24:56,311 --> 00:24:58,227 I bet that was fun. 465 00:24:59,227 --> 00:25:01,519 Yeah. 466 00:25:01,644 --> 00:25:03,394 We did. We did. 467 00:25:03,519 --> 00:25:04,394 The whole day. 468 00:25:04,519 --> 00:25:07,394 Uh, it-it was just... 469 00:25:10,102 --> 00:25:12,187 ♪ End of May or early June ♪ 470 00:25:12,312 --> 00:25:16,937 {\an1}♪ This picture-perfect afternoon we share ♪ 471 00:25:18,478 --> 00:25:21,145 What was the name of that ice cream place that we loved? 472 00:25:21,270 --> 00:25:22,312 Gifford's? 473 00:25:23,562 --> 00:25:24,645 A La Mode. 474 00:25:24,770 --> 00:25:26,520 That's it. A La Mode. 475 00:25:26,645 --> 00:25:28,729 And they had this homemade hot fudge. 476 00:25:28,854 --> 00:25:32,188 ♪ Drive the winding country road ♪ 477 00:25:32,313 --> 00:25:34,771 ♪ Grab a scoop at A La Mode ♪ 478 00:25:34,896 --> 00:25:36,438 ♪ And then we're there ♪ 479 00:25:36,563 --> 00:25:39,354 And we'd sit in that meadow by the pine trees, 480 00:25:39,479 --> 00:25:42,521 and you and your brother would look for four-leaf clovers. 481 00:25:42,647 --> 00:25:45,230 ♪ An open field that's framed with trees ♪ 482 00:25:45,355 --> 00:25:48,314 ♪ We pick a spot and... ♪ 483 00:25:48,439 --> 00:25:51,189 ♪ Shoot the breeze like buddies do ♪ 484 00:25:51,314 --> 00:25:54,397 {\an1}♪ Uh, quoting songs by our favorite bands ♪ 485 00:25:54,522 --> 00:25:57,147 ♪ Telling jokes no one understands ♪ 486 00:25:57,272 --> 00:25:59,815 {\an1}♪ Except us two ♪ 487 00:25:59,940 --> 00:26:04,606 ♪ And we talk and take in the view ♪ 488 00:26:06,981 --> 00:26:11,606 ♪ All we see is sky for forever ♪ 489 00:26:11,731 --> 00:26:17,441 {\an1}♪ We let the world pass by for forever ♪ 490 00:26:17,566 --> 00:26:23,149 ♪ Feels like we could go on for forever this way ♪ 491 00:26:24,816 --> 00:26:28,357 ♪ Two friends on a perfect day ♪ 492 00:26:30,608 --> 00:26:33,317 I'd completely forgotten about that place. 493 00:26:33,442 --> 00:26:36,608 Well, I guess Connor didn't, did he? 494 00:26:37,650 --> 00:26:40,192 {\an1}♪ We walk a while and talk about ♪ 495 00:26:40,317 --> 00:26:44,567 ♪ The things we'll do when we get out of school ♪ 496 00:26:44,692 --> 00:26:47,359 ♪ Um... bike the Appalachian Trail ♪ 497 00:26:47,484 --> 00:26:50,026 ♪ Or write a book or learn to sail ♪ 498 00:26:50,151 --> 00:26:52,401 ♪ Wouldn't that be cool? ♪ 499 00:26:52,526 --> 00:26:54,859 ♪ There's nothing that we can't discuss ♪ 500 00:26:54,984 --> 00:26:57,734 ♪ Like girls we wish would notice us ♪ 501 00:26:57,859 --> 00:26:59,818 ♪ But never do ♪ 502 00:26:59,943 --> 00:27:02,359 {\an1}♪ He looks around and says to me ♪ 503 00:27:02,484 --> 00:27:04,735 ♪ "There's nowhere else I'd rather be" ♪ 504 00:27:04,860 --> 00:27:06,444 ♪ And I say, "Me, too" ♪ 505 00:27:06,569 --> 00:27:10,944 ♪ And we talk and take in the view ♪ 506 00:27:12,319 --> 00:27:16,652 ♪ We just talk and take in the view ♪ 507 00:27:17,985 --> 00:27:21,528 ♪ All we see is sky for forever ♪ 508 00:27:21,653 --> 00:27:27,611 {\an1}♪ We let the world pass by for forever ♪ 509 00:27:27,736 --> 00:27:33,736 ♪ Feels like we could go on for forever this way ♪ 510 00:27:33,861 --> 00:27:37,987 ♪ This way ♪ 511 00:27:38,112 --> 00:27:42,946 ♪ All we see is light for forever ♪ 512 00:27:43,071 --> 00:27:48,029 ♪ 'Cause the sun shines bright for forever ♪ 513 00:27:48,154 --> 00:27:54,613 {\an1}♪ Like we'll be all right for forever this way ♪ 514 00:27:54,738 --> 00:28:00,113 ♪ Two friends on a perfect day ♪ 515 00:28:00,238 --> 00:28:02,072 ♪ And there he goes ♪ 516 00:28:02,197 --> 00:28:04,738 ♪ Racing toward the tallest tree ♪ 517 00:28:04,863 --> 00:28:07,073 {\an1}♪ From far across a yellow field ♪ 518 00:28:07,198 --> 00:28:09,864 ♪ I hear him calling, "Follow me" ♪ 519 00:28:09,989 --> 00:28:11,739 ♪ There we go ♪ 520 00:28:11,864 --> 00:28:14,864 ♪ Wondering how the world might look from up so high ♪ 521 00:28:14,989 --> 00:28:17,531 ♪ One foot after the other ♪ 522 00:28:17,656 --> 00:28:19,781 ♪ One branch then to another ♪ 523 00:28:19,906 --> 00:28:21,906 ♪ I climb higher and higher ♪ 524 00:28:22,031 --> 00:28:24,990 ♪ I climb till the entire sun ♪ 525 00:28:25,115 --> 00:28:31,157 ♪ Shines on my face ♪ 526 00:28:33,449 --> 00:28:38,950 {\an1}♪ And I suddenly feel the branch give way ♪ 527 00:28:42,950 --> 00:28:44,825 ♪ I'm on the ground ♪ 528 00:28:46,533 --> 00:28:48,575 ♪ My arm goes numb ♪ 529 00:28:50,866 --> 00:28:52,575 ♪ I look around ♪ 530 00:28:52,700 --> 00:28:55,492 ♪ And I see him come to get me ♪ 531 00:28:57,742 --> 00:29:00,159 He's come to get me. 532 00:29:02,451 --> 00:29:05,034 ♪ And everything's okay ♪ 533 00:29:08,117 --> 00:29:12,827 ♪ All we see is sky for forever ♪ 534 00:29:12,952 --> 00:29:18,118 {\an1}♪ We let the world pass by for forever ♪ 535 00:29:19,660 --> 00:29:26,035 {\an1}♪ Buddy, you and I for forever this way ♪ 536 00:29:26,160 --> 00:29:29,244 ♪ This way ♪ 537 00:29:29,369 --> 00:29:34,869 ♪ All we see is light ♪ 538 00:29:34,994 --> 00:29:39,619 ♪ 'Cause the sun burns bright ♪ 539 00:29:39,744 --> 00:29:43,829 ♪ We could be all right for forever ♪ 540 00:29:43,954 --> 00:29:48,995 ♪ This way ♪ 541 00:29:49,120 --> 00:29:51,370 ♪ Two friends ♪ 542 00:29:53,329 --> 00:29:55,120 ♪ True friends ♪ 543 00:29:55,245 --> 00:29:58,204 ♪ On a perfect ♪ 544 00:29:59,413 --> 00:30:05,288 ♪ Day. ♪ 545 00:30:06,621 --> 00:30:09,246 Thank you, Evan. 546 00:30:09,371 --> 00:30:12,288 {\an1}Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you. 547 00:30:15,872 --> 00:30:17,581 I mean, they think you were lovers. 548 00:30:17,706 --> 00:30:19,581 - You realize that, right? - Oh, my God. 549 00:30:19,706 --> 00:30:21,122 {\an1}I thought you were gonna tell them the truth. 550 00:30:21,247 --> 00:30:22,789 I-I-I tried, but then I just... 551 00:30:22,914 --> 00:30:24,372 I got nervous and I started talking. 552 00:30:24,497 --> 00:30:25,914 And then once I started, I just... 553 00:30:26,039 --> 00:30:27,789 Couldn't stop. 554 00:30:27,914 --> 00:30:29,414 They didn't want me to stop. 555 00:30:29,539 --> 00:30:31,415 What else did you say to them? 556 00:30:31,540 --> 00:30:33,332 Uh, his mom thinks that we wrote emails to each other. 557 00:30:33,457 --> 00:30:34,873 Oh, perfect. 558 00:30:34,998 --> 00:30:36,832 {\an1}Sh-She thinks he had, like, secret accounts. 559 00:30:36,957 --> 00:30:38,790 Ha, yes. Secret email accounts. 560 00:30:38,915 --> 00:30:40,582 That's what all the cool kids are doing. 561 00:30:40,707 --> 00:30:42,123 Hansen! Kalwani! 562 00:30:42,248 --> 00:30:43,415 Pick it up! 563 00:30:43,540 --> 00:30:45,707 {\an1}- No, thank you. - What was that? 564 00:30:45,832 --> 00:30:48,749 I said thank you for the encouragement! 565 00:30:48,874 --> 00:30:49,874 Fascist. 566 00:30:49,999 --> 00:30:51,749 She wants to see the emails. 567 00:30:51,874 --> 00:30:54,083 And now you want me to make a bunch of fake emails for you. 568 00:30:54,208 --> 00:30:55,708 - Classic. - You know how to do that? 569 00:30:55,833 --> 00:30:58,083 {\an1}- It's simple coding. - But you failed coding. 570 00:30:58,208 --> 00:31:00,041 If you consider a D-minus failing. 571 00:31:00,166 --> 00:31:01,541 Just so we're clear, 572 00:31:01,666 --> 00:31:02,875 {\an1}I charge a minimum of two grand per email, 573 00:31:03,000 --> 00:31:04,084 and that is a floor, not a ceiling. 574 00:31:04,209 --> 00:31:05,792 {\an1}- $2,000? - 500. 575 00:31:05,917 --> 00:31:07,125 I didn't even ask for your help. 576 00:31:07,250 --> 00:31:08,667 250, bottom line. Take it or leave it. 577 00:31:08,792 --> 00:31:10,292 I could probably give you 20 bucks. 578 00:31:10,417 --> 00:31:12,209 Fine, but I'm not gonna act like I'm happy about it. 579 00:31:14,542 --> 00:31:16,084 ♪ Dear Evan Hansen ♪ 580 00:31:16,209 --> 00:31:19,418 ♪ We've been way too out of touch ♪ 581 00:31:19,543 --> 00:31:21,126 ♪ Things have been crazy ♪ 582 00:31:21,251 --> 00:31:24,376 ♪ And it sucks that we don't talk that much ♪ 583 00:31:24,501 --> 00:31:29,210 ♪ But I should tell you that I think of you each night ♪ 584 00:31:29,335 --> 00:31:33,210 ♪ I rub my nipples and start moaning with delight ♪ 585 00:31:33,376 --> 00:31:34,586 Why would you write that? 586 00:31:34,711 --> 00:31:36,169 I'm just trying to make it erotic. 587 00:31:36,294 --> 00:31:37,252 Look, if you can't take this seriously, then... 588 00:31:37,377 --> 00:31:38,586 Ugh, calm yourself, honey. 589 00:31:38,711 --> 00:31:39,961 I just want to get this over with. 590 00:31:40,086 --> 00:31:42,044 ♪ I gotta tell you ♪ 591 00:31:42,169 --> 00:31:44,419 ♪ Life without you has been hard ♪ 592 00:31:44,544 --> 00:31:45,627 - "Hard"? - ♪ Has been bad ♪ 593 00:31:45,752 --> 00:31:46,961 - "Bad"? - Has been rough. 594 00:31:47,086 --> 00:31:48,419 - Kinky. - Please stop. 595 00:31:48,544 --> 00:31:50,420 ♪ And I miss talking about life ♪ 596 00:31:50,545 --> 00:31:51,837 ♪ And other stuff ♪ 597 00:31:51,962 --> 00:31:54,003 - Very specific. - Shut up. 598 00:31:54,128 --> 00:31:56,170 - ♪ I like my parents ♪ - Who says that? 599 00:31:56,295 --> 00:31:58,128 ♪ I love my parents ♪ 600 00:31:58,253 --> 00:32:00,420 ♪ But each day's another fight ♪ 601 00:32:01,420 --> 00:32:03,170 ♪ If I stop smoking drugs ♪ 602 00:32:03,295 --> 00:32:05,753 ♪ Then everything might be all right ♪ 603 00:32:05,878 --> 00:32:07,129 "Smoking drugs"? 604 00:32:07,254 --> 00:32:08,754 Just fix it! 605 00:32:08,879 --> 00:32:11,213 - ♪ If I stop smoking crack ♪ - "Crack"? 606 00:32:11,338 --> 00:32:13,129 ♪ If I stop smoking pot ♪ 607 00:32:13,254 --> 00:32:16,129 ♪ Then everything might be all right ♪ 608 00:32:16,254 --> 00:32:18,421 ♪ I'll take your advice ♪ 609 00:32:18,546 --> 00:32:21,296 ♪ I'll try to be more nice ♪ 610 00:32:21,421 --> 00:32:22,547 ♪ I'll turn it around ♪ 611 00:32:22,672 --> 00:32:26,214 ♪ Wait and see ♪ 612 00:32:26,339 --> 00:32:31,005 ♪ 'Cause all that it takes is a little reinvention ♪ 613 00:32:31,130 --> 00:32:35,755 ♪ It's easy to change if you give it your attention ♪ 614 00:32:35,880 --> 00:32:38,214 ♪ All you got to do is just believe ♪ 615 00:32:38,340 --> 00:32:40,965 ♪ You can be who you want to be ♪ 616 00:32:41,090 --> 00:32:43,340 ♪ Sincerely, Me ♪ 617 00:32:43,465 --> 00:32:44,881 Are we done? 618 00:32:45,006 --> 00:32:46,465 {\an1}Well, I mean, I can't just show them one email. 619 00:32:46,590 --> 00:32:48,465 I want to show that I was, like, a good friend. 620 00:32:48,590 --> 00:32:50,590 That I was trying to help him, you know? 621 00:32:50,715 --> 00:32:52,173 Oh, my God. 622 00:32:52,298 --> 00:32:54,299 ♪ Dear Connor Murphy ♪ 623 00:32:54,424 --> 00:32:57,716 ♪ Yes, I also miss our talks ♪ 624 00:32:57,841 --> 00:32:59,382 ♪ Stop doing drugs ♪ 625 00:32:59,507 --> 00:33:02,049 ♪ Just try to take deep breaths and go on walks ♪ 626 00:33:02,174 --> 00:33:04,174 - No. - ♪ I'm sending pictures ♪ 627 00:33:04,299 --> 00:33:06,174 ♪ Of the most amazing trees ♪ 628 00:33:06,299 --> 00:33:07,591 No. 629 00:33:07,716 --> 00:33:09,174 ♪ You'll be obsessed with ♪ 630 00:33:09,299 --> 00:33:12,008 - ♪ All my forest expertise ♪ - What? 631 00:33:12,133 --> 00:33:14,967 ♪ Dude, I'm proud of you ♪ 632 00:33:15,092 --> 00:33:17,967 ♪ Just keep pushing through ♪ 633 00:33:18,092 --> 00:33:19,925 ♪ You're turning around, I can see ♪ 634 00:33:20,050 --> 00:33:22,008 ♪ Just wait and see ♪ 635 00:33:22,133 --> 00:33:27,426 ♪ 'Cause all that it takes is a little reinvention ♪ 636 00:33:27,551 --> 00:33:32,093 ♪ It's easy to change if you give it your attention ♪ 637 00:33:32,218 --> 00:33:34,718 ♪ All you got to do is just believe ♪ 638 00:33:34,843 --> 00:33:37,468 ♪ You can be who you want to be ♪ 639 00:33:37,593 --> 00:33:39,343 ♪ Sincerely, Me ♪ 640 00:33:39,468 --> 00:33:40,551 ♪ My sister's hot ♪ 641 00:33:40,676 --> 00:33:42,260 - What the hell? - My bad. 642 00:33:42,385 --> 00:33:43,885 ♪ Dear Evan Hansen ♪ 643 00:33:44,010 --> 00:33:47,427 ♪ Thanks for every note you send ♪ 644 00:33:47,552 --> 00:33:48,885 ♪ Dear Connor Murphy ♪ 645 00:33:49,010 --> 00:33:52,135 ♪ I'm just glad to be your friend ♪ 646 00:33:52,260 --> 00:33:54,635 ♪ Our friendship goes beyond ♪ 647 00:33:54,760 --> 00:33:57,052 ♪ Your average kind of bond ♪ 648 00:33:57,177 --> 00:33:59,428 ♪ But not because they're gay ♪ 649 00:33:59,553 --> 00:34:00,928 ♪ No, not because... ♪ 650 00:34:01,053 --> 00:34:02,386 ♪ Well, anyway ♪ 651 00:34:02,511 --> 00:34:04,636 ♪ You're getting better every day ♪ 652 00:34:04,761 --> 00:34:06,928 ♪ I'm getting better every day ♪ 653 00:34:07,053 --> 00:34:08,303 - ♪ Keep ♪ - ♪ Getting ♪ 654 00:34:08,428 --> 00:34:09,053 {\an1}- ♪ Better ♪ - ♪ Every ♪ 655 00:34:09,178 --> 00:34:10,178 ♪ Day ♪ 656 00:34:10,303 --> 00:34:11,928 ♪ Hey, hey, hey, hey ♪ 657 00:34:12,053 --> 00:34:16,887 ♪ 'Cause all that it takes is a little reinvention ♪ 658 00:34:17,012 --> 00:34:21,679 ♪ It's easy to change if you give it your attention ♪ 659 00:34:21,804 --> 00:34:24,262 ♪ All you got to do is just believe ♪ 660 00:34:24,387 --> 00:34:26,887 ♪ You can be who you want to be ♪ 661 00:34:27,012 --> 00:34:28,971 ♪ Sincerely ♪ 662 00:34:29,096 --> 00:34:31,847 ♪ Miss you dearly ♪ 663 00:34:31,972 --> 00:34:34,430 ♪ Sincerely, Me ♪ 664 00:34:35,388 --> 00:34:36,888 ♪ Sincerely, Me ♪ 665 00:34:37,847 --> 00:34:41,222 {\an1}♪ Sincerely, Me ♪ 666 00:34:41,347 --> 00:34:42,930 ♪ Sincerely, Me. ♪ 667 00:34:46,848 --> 00:34:49,473 I can't remember the last time that I heard him laugh, 668 00:34:49,598 --> 00:34:51,473 {\an1}but the two of them, if you read these... 669 00:34:51,598 --> 00:34:53,389 I think if you could take ten minutes 670 00:34:53,514 --> 00:34:55,264 {\an1}and actually read these emails... 671 00:34:55,389 --> 00:34:57,514 I'm looking at them right now. 672 00:34:59,806 --> 00:35:02,307 Zoe. Look what Evan sent us. 673 00:35:02,432 --> 00:35:04,724 They're emails from your brother. 674 00:35:04,849 --> 00:35:06,015 I printed them out. 675 00:35:06,140 --> 00:35:08,349 Oh. Take that, trees. 676 00:35:08,474 --> 00:35:10,099 {\an1}- How was school? - Terrific. 677 00:35:10,224 --> 00:35:12,057 All of a sudden, people I've never met 678 00:35:12,182 --> 00:35:13,640 want to be my best friend. 679 00:35:13,765 --> 00:35:16,182 I'm the dead kid's sister, didn't you know? 680 00:35:17,182 --> 00:35:18,475 I'm sure they mean well. 681 00:35:18,600 --> 00:35:20,641 I'm sure they don't. 682 00:35:27,266 --> 00:35:29,058 She needs time. 683 00:35:30,100 --> 00:35:32,683 No, Larry, she needs her parents. 684 00:35:32,808 --> 00:35:34,934 Enjoy the game. 685 00:35:42,392 --> 00:35:43,726 Can I come in? 686 00:35:46,851 --> 00:35:48,142 Oh. 687 00:35:48,267 --> 00:35:50,727 You don't have to stop playing. 688 00:35:51,727 --> 00:35:53,602 How was band? 689 00:35:56,477 --> 00:35:59,518 You know, he-he talks about you playing guitar, 690 00:35:59,643 --> 00:36:03,143 in one of his emails, at the spring concert last year. 691 00:36:03,268 --> 00:36:04,977 Really? 692 00:36:05,102 --> 00:36:06,018 {\an1}Yeah. 693 00:36:06,144 --> 00:36:09,853 Does he, does he talk about 694 00:36:09,978 --> 00:36:12,186 when he disappeared for two days? 695 00:36:12,311 --> 00:36:15,019 But then he called me and asked me to come pick him up. 696 00:36:15,144 --> 00:36:16,478 He wanted to come home, 697 00:36:16,603 --> 00:36:18,144 {\an1}but he wasn't ready to talk to you yet, 698 00:36:18,269 --> 00:36:21,186 so I took the bus all the way downtown to get him, 699 00:36:21,311 --> 00:36:23,812 and guess what. 700 00:36:26,812 --> 00:36:29,395 All he really wanted was money. 701 00:36:32,229 --> 00:36:36,270 And I gave it to him because I was 12. 702 00:36:38,938 --> 00:36:40,938 He was struggling. 703 00:36:43,313 --> 00:36:45,605 How about the time he tried to punch through my door, 704 00:36:45,730 --> 00:36:47,230 screaming at the top of his lungs, 705 00:36:47,355 --> 00:36:50,105 saying he was gonna kill me for no reason? 706 00:36:50,230 --> 00:36:52,313 Is that email in there? 707 00:36:54,106 --> 00:36:56,189 We're all grieving in our own way. 708 00:37:03,397 --> 00:37:07,064 You might consider reading these when you're ready. 709 00:37:08,481 --> 00:37:10,690 They might help more than you think. 710 00:37:28,149 --> 00:37:31,191 {\an1}♪ Why should I play this game of pretend? ♪ 711 00:37:32,649 --> 00:37:37,191 {\an1}♪ Remembering through a secondhand sorrow ♪ 712 00:37:37,316 --> 00:37:41,191 {\an1}♪ Such a great son and wonderful friend ♪ 713 00:37:41,316 --> 00:37:45,484 ♪ Oh, don't the tears just pour ♪ 714 00:37:46,567 --> 00:37:49,817 ♪ I could curl up and hide in my room ♪ 715 00:37:51,192 --> 00:37:55,609 ♪ Here in my bed still sobbing tomorrow ♪ 716 00:37:55,734 --> 00:37:59,735 ♪ I could give in to all of the gloom ♪ 717 00:37:59,860 --> 00:38:04,735 ♪ But tell me, tell me what for ♪ 718 00:38:04,860 --> 00:38:07,818 ♪ Why should I have a heavy heart? ♪ 719 00:38:07,943 --> 00:38:10,776 {\an1}♪ Why should I start to break in pieces? ♪ 720 00:38:10,901 --> 00:38:14,986 ♪ Why should I go and fall apart for you? ♪ 721 00:38:16,986 --> 00:38:22,319 {\an1}♪ Why should I play the grieving girl ♪ 722 00:38:22,444 --> 00:38:25,402 ♪ And lie ♪ 723 00:38:25,527 --> 00:38:30,320 {\an1}♪ Saying that I miss you and that my world ♪ 724 00:38:30,445 --> 00:38:35,528 ♪ Has gone dark without your light? ♪ 725 00:38:37,278 --> 00:38:40,320 ♪ I will sing no requiem ♪ 726 00:38:42,153 --> 00:38:43,445 ♪ Tonight ♪ 727 00:38:51,529 --> 00:38:54,613 {\an1}♪ We gave you the world, you threw it away ♪ 728 00:38:56,154 --> 00:39:00,488 ♪ Leaving these broken pieces behind you ♪ 729 00:39:00,613 --> 00:39:04,697 ♪ Everything wasted, nothing to say ♪ 730 00:39:04,822 --> 00:39:07,614 ♪ So I can sing no requiem ♪ 731 00:39:07,739 --> 00:39:12,114 {\an1}♪ I hear your voice and feel you near ♪ 732 00:39:12,239 --> 00:39:16,947 {\an1}♪ Within these words I finally find you ♪ 733 00:39:17,072 --> 00:39:21,448 {\an1}♪ And now that I know that you are still here ♪ 734 00:39:21,573 --> 00:39:24,490 ♪ I will sing no requiem tonight ♪ 735 00:39:24,615 --> 00:39:27,490 ♪ Why should I have a heavy heart? ♪ 736 00:39:27,615 --> 00:39:30,406 {\an1}♪ Why should I say I'll keep you with me? ♪ 737 00:39:30,531 --> 00:39:36,157 ♪ Why should I go and fall apart for you? ♪ 738 00:39:36,282 --> 00:39:38,949 ♪ Why ♪ 739 00:39:39,074 --> 00:39:41,074 ♪ Should I play the grieving girl ♪ 740 00:39:41,199 --> 00:39:44,449 ♪ And lie ♪ 741 00:39:44,574 --> 00:39:47,157 ♪ Saying that I miss you and that ♪ 742 00:39:47,282 --> 00:39:51,033 ♪ My world has gone dark without your light? ♪ 743 00:39:51,158 --> 00:39:55,492 ♪ I can see your light ♪ 744 00:39:55,617 --> 00:39:58,992 ♪ I will sing no requiem ♪ 745 00:39:59,117 --> 00:40:01,075 ♪ Tonight ♪ 746 00:40:01,200 --> 00:40:03,617 ♪ 'Cause when the villains fall ♪ 747 00:40:03,742 --> 00:40:06,493 ♪ The kingdoms never weep ♪ 748 00:40:06,618 --> 00:40:11,201 ♪ No one lights a candle to remember ♪ 749 00:40:11,326 --> 00:40:14,451 ♪ No, no one mourns at all ♪ 750 00:40:14,576 --> 00:40:17,618 ♪ When they lay them down to sleep ♪ 751 00:40:17,743 --> 00:40:24,577 ♪ So don't tell me that I didn't have it right ♪ 752 00:40:24,702 --> 00:40:29,327 ♪ Don't tell me that it wasn't black and white ♪ 753 00:40:29,452 --> 00:40:32,035 ♪ After all you put me through ♪ 754 00:40:32,160 --> 00:40:35,327 ♪ Don't say it wasn't true ♪ 755 00:40:35,452 --> 00:40:39,120 ♪ That you were not the monster ♪ 756 00:40:47,703 --> 00:40:49,745 {\an1}- ♪ That I knew ♪ 757 00:40:52,995 --> 00:40:56,121 ♪ 'Cause I ♪ 758 00:40:56,246 --> 00:41:01,537 ♪ Cannot play the grieving girl and lie ♪ 759 00:41:01,662 --> 00:41:06,537 {\an1}♪ Saying that I miss you and that my world ♪ 760 00:41:06,662 --> 00:41:08,704 ♪ Has gone dark ♪ 761 00:41:13,080 --> 00:41:16,705 ♪ I will sing no requiem ♪ 762 00:41:17,830 --> 00:41:21,413 ♪ I will sing no requiem ♪ 763 00:41:22,538 --> 00:41:25,538 ♪ I will sing no requiem ♪ 764 00:41:27,706 --> 00:41:29,289 ♪ Tonight ♪ 765 00:41:29,414 --> 00:41:31,706 ♪ Oh, oh ♪ 766 00:41:31,831 --> 00:41:34,081 ♪ Oh, oh ♪ 767 00:41:34,206 --> 00:41:36,539 ♪ Oh, oh ♪ 768 00:41:36,664 --> 00:41:41,749 ♪ Oh, oh. ♪ 769 00:41:43,832 --> 00:41:45,457 They did a whole thing about them on NPR yesterday, 770 00:41:45,582 --> 00:41:46,874 these-these essay contests. 771 00:41:46,999 --> 00:41:48,374 And if you win, 772 00:41:48,499 --> 00:41:49,957 {\an1}it doesn't count against any financial aid. 773 00:41:50,082 --> 00:41:54,874 You know, so $5,000 here or $3,000 there. 774 00:41:54,999 --> 00:41:57,124 It adds up, and we're gonna need 775 00:41:57,249 --> 00:41:59,416 all the help we can get with college. 776 00:41:59,541 --> 00:42:02,875 I mean, unless your stepmother has some trust fund for you 777 00:42:03,000 --> 00:42:05,125 that I don't know about with all those fabulous tips 778 00:42:05,250 --> 00:42:06,625 - she made cocktail waitressing. - Huh. 779 00:42:06,750 --> 00:42:08,625 Right? 780 00:42:08,750 --> 00:42:10,125 Mm. 781 00:42:15,167 --> 00:42:16,667 I got a... 782 00:42:16,792 --> 00:42:19,501 I got an email from your school yesterday, 783 00:42:19,626 --> 00:42:23,376 {\an1}um, about that boy that-that killed himself. 784 00:42:23,501 --> 00:42:24,709 Connor Murphy? 785 00:42:24,834 --> 00:42:26,417 Yeah. 786 00:42:26,542 --> 00:42:28,209 I didn't really know him, so... 787 00:42:28,334 --> 00:42:32,877 You know, if you ever want to talk about anything... 788 00:42:33,002 --> 00:42:34,877 {\an1}You know, I mean, I mean, I know that lately 789 00:42:35,002 --> 00:42:36,377 it feels like I'm-I'm always working. 790 00:42:36,502 --> 00:42:38,210 - It's fine. - But I'm-I'm-I'm here, 791 00:42:38,335 --> 00:42:40,752 and if I... If I'm not here, I'm just a phone call away 792 00:42:40,877 --> 00:42:42,418 {\an1}or an email or a text, you know, whatever. 793 00:42:42,543 --> 00:42:43,877 I know. 794 00:42:44,877 --> 00:42:47,669 It says "Connor" on your cast. 795 00:42:47,794 --> 00:42:49,878 Oh. 796 00:42:50,003 --> 00:42:51,503 No, no, yeah. Um... 797 00:42:51,628 --> 00:42:53,711 - You said you didn't know him. - Sorry, I didn't. 798 00:42:53,836 --> 00:42:55,461 Um... 799 00:42:55,586 --> 00:42:58,419 It's in memory, so, like... 800 00:42:58,544 --> 00:43:00,586 Y-You know, kids are, like, um... 801 00:43:00,711 --> 00:43:02,379 {\an1}they're writing his name on-on... 802 00:43:02,504 --> 00:43:05,337 lockers and stuff like that. 803 00:43:05,462 --> 00:43:06,795 {\an1}Oh. 804 00:43:08,712 --> 00:43:10,545 Um... 805 00:43:12,962 --> 00:43:16,087 That's lovely. You know, in memory. 806 00:43:16,212 --> 00:43:17,462 {\an1}Hmm. 807 00:43:20,130 --> 00:43:21,130 Hey. 808 00:43:21,255 --> 00:43:22,838 Tuesday. What are you doing? 809 00:43:24,213 --> 00:43:26,671 {\an1}When's the last time we did Taco Tuesday? 810 00:43:26,796 --> 00:43:28,338 That'd be great. 811 00:43:28,463 --> 00:43:30,380 Really? 812 00:43:30,505 --> 00:43:32,005 Yeah. 813 00:43:32,130 --> 00:43:34,006 So the memorial's really just an opportunity 814 00:43:34,131 --> 00:43:35,881 for all of us to come together as a community 815 00:43:36,006 --> 00:43:39,256 {\an1}and to remember Connor and celebrate who he was. 816 00:43:40,464 --> 00:43:41,797 Would you want to speak or perform? 817 00:43:41,922 --> 00:43:43,672 I didn't really know him. I'm sorry. 818 00:43:43,797 --> 00:43:45,714 - That's okay. - Bye. 819 00:43:58,132 --> 00:43:59,215 Want a wristband? 820 00:43:59,340 --> 00:44:01,715 Oh, yes. Yeah. Okay. 821 00:44:01,840 --> 00:44:03,048 Thank you. 822 00:44:06,049 --> 00:44:07,591 {\an1}You were friends with him, right? 823 00:44:09,299 --> 00:44:11,174 I saw him sign your cast in the library, 824 00:44:11,299 --> 00:44:13,758 and you started arguing about something. 825 00:44:14,841 --> 00:44:17,466 - Were you friends with him? - We weren't close. 826 00:44:17,591 --> 00:44:20,216 We presented together o-on Huck Finn in the tenth grade, 827 00:44:20,341 --> 00:44:23,134 {\an1}but he probably didn't tell you that. 828 00:44:23,259 --> 00:44:24,967 Um, no, no, I didn't know. 829 00:44:25,092 --> 00:44:27,175 I always really liked him. 830 00:44:27,300 --> 00:44:28,800 It seemed like he didn't really care 831 00:44:28,925 --> 00:44:31,009 what anyone else thought, and... 832 00:44:31,134 --> 00:44:32,634 I thought that was pretty remarkable. 833 00:44:36,634 --> 00:44:38,885 Well, I'm putting together a memorial for him 834 00:44:39,010 --> 00:44:41,093 at school on Friday. 835 00:44:41,218 --> 00:44:42,510 If you wanted to do something... 836 00:44:42,635 --> 00:44:45,051 Oh. Um... 837 00:44:45,176 --> 00:44:47,301 Sorry, I-I... 838 00:44:47,426 --> 00:44:50,885 I-I probably w-would rather not, if that's okay. 839 00:44:51,010 --> 00:44:52,010 Yeah, sure. 840 00:44:52,135 --> 00:44:54,469 If you change your mind... 841 00:44:54,594 --> 00:44:55,802 just text me. 842 00:44:59,761 --> 00:45:01,677 Okay. 843 00:45:08,469 --> 00:45:09,720 Mom. 844 00:45:48,180 --> 00:45:50,264 My mom realized we were out of ice cream, 845 00:45:50,389 --> 00:45:52,222 so they went to go get more. 846 00:45:53,222 --> 00:45:55,139 Did you park in the driveway? 847 00:45:55,264 --> 00:45:57,681 'Cause if you park on the street, they'll ticket you. 848 00:45:57,806 --> 00:45:59,598 The people in this neighborhood are monsters. 849 00:45:59,723 --> 00:46:01,806 {\an1}Um, no, I didn't, I didn't, um... 850 00:46:01,931 --> 00:46:03,806 I took the bus. My mom needed the car for work. 851 00:46:03,931 --> 00:46:05,890 - What about your dad? - My dad. 852 00:46:06,015 --> 00:46:08,515 Um, he lives in Colorado, so... 853 00:46:08,640 --> 00:46:10,681 He left when I was seven. 854 00:46:13,348 --> 00:46:14,807 That sucks. 855 00:46:16,057 --> 00:46:19,432 Mine died when I was one, so... 856 00:46:19,557 --> 00:46:20,807 I sort of win. 857 00:46:21,932 --> 00:46:23,849 {\an1}- Sorry. - Thanks. 858 00:46:23,974 --> 00:46:25,516 It's fine. 859 00:46:25,641 --> 00:46:28,557 I-I don't even really remember him, to be honest. 860 00:46:28,682 --> 00:46:31,475 Connor did, though, a little. 861 00:46:31,600 --> 00:46:33,433 That's terrible. 862 00:46:33,558 --> 00:46:34,975 Yeah. 863 00:46:35,100 --> 00:46:38,725 And then Larry showed up, fixed everything. 864 00:46:40,183 --> 00:46:42,142 For a while, at least. 865 00:46:42,267 --> 00:46:43,975 Yeah. 866 00:46:44,100 --> 00:46:46,643 Most people, with Connor, they just would've been like, 867 00:46:46,768 --> 00:46:51,184 "See ya," but he's the only dad we ever really knew, so... 868 00:46:52,851 --> 00:46:54,809 Wow, your mom... I didn't, I didn't realize. 869 00:46:54,934 --> 00:46:56,393 Yeah, well. 870 00:46:56,518 --> 00:46:58,768 She's in total denial now. 871 00:46:58,893 --> 00:47:00,268 So is Larry. 872 00:47:00,393 --> 00:47:01,810 I mean, he didn't even cry at the funeral. 873 00:47:01,935 --> 00:47:03,019 I'm sorry. 874 00:47:04,227 --> 00:47:06,685 {\an1}Not as sorry as you're gonna be. 875 00:47:08,602 --> 00:47:10,560 - Oh, is-is that the... - Mm-hmm. 876 00:47:10,685 --> 00:47:13,935 Gluten-free apple pie? You bet. 877 00:47:14,060 --> 00:47:15,519 It-it looks... 878 00:47:17,185 --> 00:47:18,895 {\an1}- Inedible? 879 00:47:19,020 --> 00:47:20,478 It is. 880 00:47:21,561 --> 00:47:24,436 Just be glad we get to have real ice cream. 881 00:47:24,561 --> 00:47:26,436 My mom was Buddhist last year, 882 00:47:26,561 --> 00:47:28,186 {\an1}so we couldn't have any animal products. 883 00:47:28,311 --> 00:47:30,770 She was B... um, Buddhist last year but not this year? 884 00:47:30,895 --> 00:47:33,103 Yep. That's sort of what she does. 885 00:47:33,228 --> 00:47:34,937 She gets into a lot of different things. 886 00:47:35,062 --> 00:47:38,187 - Mm. - For a while, it was Pilates. 887 00:47:38,312 --> 00:47:40,062 The Secret. 888 00:47:40,187 --> 00:47:42,187 Buddhism. Et cetera. 889 00:47:42,312 --> 00:47:44,354 It's cool that she's interested in so much different stuff. 890 00:47:44,479 --> 00:47:45,771 Yeah, she's not, though. 891 00:47:45,896 --> 00:47:47,771 That's just what happens when you're rich 892 00:47:47,896 --> 00:47:48,854 and you don't have a job. 893 00:47:48,979 --> 00:47:50,105 You get a little crazy. 894 00:47:50,230 --> 00:47:51,438 Well, my mom always says 895 00:47:51,563 --> 00:47:53,188 it's better to be rich than poor, so... 896 00:47:53,313 --> 00:47:54,772 Yeah, well, your mom's probably never been rich, then. 897 00:47:54,897 --> 00:47:56,480 Yeah, you've probably never been poor. 898 00:47:58,855 --> 00:48:00,105 Oh, my God, I can't believe I just said that. 899 00:48:00,230 --> 00:48:01,522 I'm so sorry. 900 00:48:01,647 --> 00:48:03,605 Wow. I didn't realize 901 00:48:03,730 --> 00:48:05,981 you were capable of saying something that wasn't nice. 902 00:48:06,106 --> 00:48:07,773 {\an1}I'm n... I'm not. I'm really sorry. 903 00:48:07,898 --> 00:48:10,231 You really don't have to keep saying that. 904 00:48:10,356 --> 00:48:12,189 {\an1}Okay. 905 00:48:12,314 --> 00:48:14,439 You want to say it again. 906 00:48:14,564 --> 00:48:15,856 Yeah, very much so, I do. 907 00:48:22,857 --> 00:48:25,315 Why did he write that... 908 00:48:25,440 --> 00:48:26,690 in his note? 909 00:48:26,815 --> 00:48:28,982 "Because there's Zoe. 910 00:48:29,107 --> 00:48:32,440 And I don't even know her, but if I could just talk to her..." 911 00:48:35,065 --> 00:48:37,190 Honestly, I really don't know. 912 00:48:37,315 --> 00:48:39,816 {\an1}What does any of that even mean? I mean... 913 00:48:39,941 --> 00:48:42,108 We weren't close at all. 914 00:48:42,233 --> 00:48:44,566 Not since we were kids. 915 00:48:44,691 --> 00:48:46,650 He never noticed anything about me. 916 00:48:46,775 --> 00:48:49,191 {\an1}That's not true. That's not true. 917 00:48:49,316 --> 00:48:51,441 He-he-he noticed a lot of things about you. 918 00:48:51,566 --> 00:48:53,191 Like what things? 919 00:49:03,317 --> 00:49:04,401 Right. 920 00:49:04,526 --> 00:49:05,401 No, no, no. 921 00:49:05,526 --> 00:49:07,526 That's, um... 922 00:49:07,651 --> 00:49:08,734 Well... 923 00:49:08,859 --> 00:49:10,610 Okay, w... Okay. 924 00:49:10,735 --> 00:49:13,027 Here's something. Um... 925 00:49:13,152 --> 00:49:16,693 {\an1}Whenever you have, uh, a solo in-in jazz band, 926 00:49:16,818 --> 00:49:18,943 {\an1}you just... you close your e... 927 00:49:19,068 --> 00:49:20,402 you probably don't even know you're doing this, 928 00:49:20,527 --> 00:49:23,027 {\an1}but you close your eyes, um, and you get, like... 929 00:49:23,152 --> 00:49:24,735 I don't know, it's like a half smile, 930 00:49:24,860 --> 00:49:26,486 like you just heard the funniest thing in the world, 931 00:49:26,611 --> 00:49:27,903 but it's a secret and you can't tell anyone about it. 932 00:49:28,028 --> 00:49:29,694 But then... 933 00:49:29,819 --> 00:49:31,694 uh, the way that you smile, it's sort of like you are... 934 00:49:31,819 --> 00:49:34,486 {\an1}you're letting us in on the secret, too. 935 00:49:34,611 --> 00:49:36,278 {\an1}- Um...- 936 00:49:36,403 --> 00:49:38,611 ♪ He said ♪ 937 00:49:38,736 --> 00:49:40,486 ♪ There's nothing like your smile ♪ 938 00:49:40,611 --> 00:49:44,445 ♪ Sort of subtle and perfect and real ♪ 939 00:49:45,779 --> 00:49:50,820 ♪ He said you never knew how wonderful ♪ 940 00:49:50,945 --> 00:49:54,737 ♪ That smile could make someone feel ♪ 941 00:49:56,237 --> 00:50:00,280 ♪ And he knew whenever you get bored ♪ 942 00:50:00,405 --> 00:50:04,946 ♪ You scribble stars on the cuffs of your jeans ♪ 943 00:50:06,488 --> 00:50:10,738 ♪ And he noticed that you still fill out the quizzes ♪ 944 00:50:10,863 --> 00:50:13,614 ♪ That they put in those teen magazines ♪ 945 00:50:13,739 --> 00:50:15,572 I-I do that ironically. 946 00:50:15,697 --> 00:50:20,906 ♪ But he kept it all inside his head ♪ 947 00:50:21,031 --> 00:50:25,572 ♪ What he saw he left unsaid ♪ 948 00:50:25,697 --> 00:50:28,322 ♪ And though he wanted to ♪ 949 00:50:28,447 --> 00:50:29,948 ♪ He couldn't talk to you ♪ 950 00:50:30,073 --> 00:50:33,323 ♪ He couldn't find a way ♪ 951 00:50:35,073 --> 00:50:39,698 ♪ But he would always say ♪ 952 00:50:39,823 --> 00:50:43,365 ♪ If I could tell her ♪ 953 00:50:43,490 --> 00:50:45,449 ♪ Tell her everything I see ♪ 954 00:50:45,574 --> 00:50:48,158 ♪ If I could tell her ♪ 955 00:50:48,283 --> 00:50:51,408 ♪ How she's everything to me ♪ 956 00:50:51,533 --> 00:50:56,074 ♪ But we're a million worlds apart ♪ 957 00:50:57,491 --> 00:51:01,659 {\an1}♪ And I don't know how I would even start ♪ 958 00:51:01,784 --> 00:51:05,742 ♪ If I could tell her ♪ 959 00:51:06,742 --> 00:51:12,034 ♪ If I could tell her ♪ 960 00:51:13,617 --> 00:51:15,950 Did he say anything else? 961 00:51:16,075 --> 00:51:17,493 About you? 962 00:51:17,618 --> 00:51:19,118 N-Never mind. I don't even care, all right? 963 00:51:19,243 --> 00:51:20,576 {\an1}Oh, no, no, no, no, no. He said so many things. 964 00:51:20,701 --> 00:51:22,076 I'm trying to... I'm just... 965 00:51:22,201 --> 00:51:23,743 {\an1}I'm trying to remember the best ones, so... 966 00:51:23,868 --> 00:51:25,243 Um... 967 00:51:25,368 --> 00:51:29,160 ♪ He thought it looked pretty cool ♪ 968 00:51:29,285 --> 00:51:32,660 ♪ When you put indigo streaks in your hair ♪ 969 00:51:32,785 --> 00:51:34,869 No fucking way. 970 00:51:34,994 --> 00:51:38,619 ♪ And he wondered how you learned to dance ♪ 971 00:51:38,744 --> 00:51:44,494 ♪ Like all the rest of the world isn't there ♪ 972 00:51:44,619 --> 00:51:49,537 ♪ But he kept it all inside his head ♪ 973 00:51:49,662 --> 00:51:54,245 ♪ What he saw he left unsaid ♪ 974 00:51:54,370 --> 00:51:57,287 ♪ If I could tell her ♪ 975 00:51:57,412 --> 00:51:59,203 ♪ Tell her everything I see ♪ 976 00:51:59,328 --> 00:52:01,870 ♪ If I could tell her ♪ 977 00:52:01,995 --> 00:52:04,370 ♪ How she's everything to me ♪ 978 00:52:04,495 --> 00:52:09,579 ♪ But we're a million worlds apart ♪ 979 00:52:11,538 --> 00:52:15,538 {\an1}♪ And I don't know how I would even start ♪ 980 00:52:15,663 --> 00:52:19,746 ♪ If I could tell her ♪ 981 00:52:20,788 --> 00:52:23,039 ♪ If I could tell her ♪ 982 00:52:23,164 --> 00:52:28,122 ♪ But what do you do when there's this great divide? ♪ 983 00:52:28,247 --> 00:52:32,997 ♪ He just seemed so far away ♪ 984 00:52:33,122 --> 00:52:37,248 ♪ And what do you do when the distance is too wide? ♪ 985 00:52:37,373 --> 00:52:38,498 ♪ It's like I don't know anything ♪ 986 00:52:38,623 --> 00:52:40,706 ♪ How do you say ♪ 987 00:52:40,831 --> 00:52:44,790 ♪ I love you? ♪ 988 00:52:45,748 --> 00:52:49,415 ♪ I love you ♪ 989 00:52:50,373 --> 00:52:54,999 ♪ I love you ♪ 990 00:52:55,999 --> 00:53:00,249 ♪ I love you ♪ 991 00:53:03,582 --> 00:53:10,792 ♪ But we're a million worlds apart ♪ 992 00:53:12,750 --> 00:53:16,208 {\an1}♪ And I don't know how I would even start ♪ 993 00:53:18,083 --> 00:53:23,917 ♪ If I could tell her ♪ 994 00:53:24,042 --> 00:53:28,543 ♪ If I could. ♪ 995 00:53:33,334 --> 00:53:35,584 {\an1}Hello. 996 00:53:35,709 --> 00:53:37,501 {\an1}- Oh, sorry. - Uh... 997 00:53:37,626 --> 00:53:39,834 {\an1}Oh, you beat us. 998 00:53:39,959 --> 00:53:41,419 Um, Zoe, can you help serve? 999 00:53:41,544 --> 00:53:42,960 - Yeah. - Larry, get the plates. 1000 00:53:43,085 --> 00:53:44,502 Can I do anything? 1001 00:53:44,627 --> 00:53:45,960 No, no, no. You're the guest. You sit down. 1002 00:53:46,085 --> 00:53:48,169 {\an1}We asked if they had any soy ice cream, 1003 00:53:48,294 --> 00:53:52,335 but the guy at the store said there was just no "whey," so... 1004 00:53:52,460 --> 00:53:53,960 {\an1}When are you gonna give up that joke? 1005 00:53:54,085 --> 00:53:55,710 I think never, actually. 1006 00:53:55,835 --> 00:53:56,919 You don't have to laugh at that. Please don't. 1007 00:53:57,045 --> 00:53:58,336 Oh. 1008 00:53:58,461 --> 00:54:01,003 I'm sorry, but there's no way 1009 00:54:01,128 --> 00:54:03,336 you'd ever be able to tell in a million years 1010 00:54:03,461 --> 00:54:04,670 that this was gluten-free. 1011 00:54:04,795 --> 00:54:06,545 Mom, come on. Look at it. 1012 00:54:06,670 --> 00:54:09,378 {\an1}A million years is, uh... that's a lot of years. 1013 00:54:09,503 --> 00:54:11,961 Do you see what I have to deal with? 1014 00:54:13,046 --> 00:54:14,171 I'm glad you're here. 1015 00:54:42,797 --> 00:54:44,755 "The Connor Project." 1016 00:54:44,880 --> 00:54:46,631 So, it's a student group dedicated to 1017 00:54:46,756 --> 00:54:49,756 {\an1}mental health awareness, outreach and education. 1018 00:54:50,881 --> 00:54:53,131 Uh, great. This is... it's great. 1019 00:54:55,048 --> 00:54:56,548 You know the Murphys, right? 1020 00:54:56,673 --> 00:54:58,839 - Mm-hmm. - I was wondering if 1021 00:54:58,964 --> 00:55:00,673 you would reach out to them and get their blessing. 1022 00:55:00,798 --> 00:55:03,715 {\an1}Oh, well, I don't... I-I don't, I don't, um... 1023 00:55:03,840 --> 00:55:05,424 You want to help the Murphys? 1024 00:55:05,549 --> 00:55:08,590 {\an1}And all the other people who might need it, 1025 00:55:08,715 --> 00:55:10,007 like people like Connor. 1026 00:55:10,132 --> 00:55:12,007 Or... 1027 00:55:12,132 --> 00:55:13,590 people like us. 1028 00:55:13,715 --> 00:55:15,590 "People like us"? 1029 00:55:17,633 --> 00:55:20,300 Yes, right, because we have so much in common. 1030 00:55:20,425 --> 00:55:21,508 What? 1031 00:55:22,508 --> 00:55:24,258 Well, you're, like, the president 1032 00:55:24,383 --> 00:55:26,133 of a m-million different groups at school, 1033 00:55:26,258 --> 00:55:28,133 and you're, like, part of every single activity. 1034 00:55:28,258 --> 00:55:31,591 And you're, you know, and I'm... 1035 00:55:31,716 --> 00:55:33,509 um, I am not. 1036 00:55:34,717 --> 00:55:36,176 What do you take? 1037 00:55:40,051 --> 00:55:42,301 Okay, I'll go first. 1038 00:55:42,426 --> 00:55:44,426 I'm on Lexapro, ten milligrams. 1039 00:55:46,717 --> 00:55:48,176 Oh. 1040 00:55:49,802 --> 00:55:53,218 Well, I'm-I'm on Zoloft. 1041 00:55:53,343 --> 00:55:55,010 Uh, and Wellbutrin. 1042 00:55:57,052 --> 00:55:58,843 And, um... 1043 00:55:58,968 --> 00:56:00,718 Ativan as needed. 1044 00:56:01,677 --> 00:56:04,593 Depression? Anxiety? 1045 00:56:06,011 --> 00:56:07,261 Yeah. 1046 00:56:08,219 --> 00:56:10,303 Yeah, me, too. 1047 00:56:12,344 --> 00:56:14,261 Some days, it's just like, um... 1048 00:56:15,719 --> 00:56:17,386 It's like, um... 1049 00:56:17,511 --> 00:56:18,469 Impossible? 1050 00:56:18,594 --> 00:56:21,012 {\an1}- Yeah. - Yeah. 1051 00:56:22,679 --> 00:56:25,262 {\an1}You know, you don't really act like a... 1052 00:56:26,470 --> 00:56:28,179 ...depressed sort of person. 1053 00:56:28,304 --> 00:56:32,179 I'm just good at staying anonymous. 1054 00:56:34,429 --> 00:56:35,679 Same as you. 1055 00:56:38,513 --> 00:56:41,638 There are a lot of people who feel like us. 1056 00:56:43,763 --> 00:56:46,221 People that you wouldn't think. 1057 00:56:49,888 --> 00:56:51,763 ♪ You ever look at all the people ♪ 1058 00:56:51,888 --> 00:56:55,556 {\an1}♪ Who seem to know exactly how to be? ♪ 1059 00:56:58,764 --> 00:57:02,431 ♪ You think, "They don't need piles of prescriptions ♪ 1060 00:57:02,556 --> 00:57:04,139 ♪ To function naturally" ♪ 1061 00:57:06,556 --> 00:57:09,598 {\an1}♪ Well, look again and you might catch it ♪ 1062 00:57:09,723 --> 00:57:11,932 ♪ Just stay a minute more ♪ 1063 00:57:13,515 --> 00:57:17,682 ♪ There's this little moment after the sunny smile ♪ 1064 00:57:17,807 --> 00:57:22,140 ♪ As their eyes fall to the floor ♪ 1065 00:57:22,265 --> 00:57:25,391 ♪ The anonymous ones ♪ 1066 00:57:25,516 --> 00:57:30,558 {\an1}♪ Who never let you see the ache they carry ♪ 1067 00:57:31,724 --> 00:57:34,974 ♪ All of those anonymous ones ♪ 1068 00:57:35,099 --> 00:57:39,724 ♪ Who never name that quiet pain they bury ♪ 1069 00:57:41,225 --> 00:57:44,017 {\an1}♪ So they keep on keeping secrets ♪ 1070 00:57:44,142 --> 00:57:46,767 ♪ That they think they have to hide ♪ 1071 00:57:46,892 --> 00:57:48,767 ♪ But what if everybody's secret ♪ 1072 00:57:48,892 --> 00:57:51,100 ♪ Is they have that secret side? ♪ 1073 00:57:51,225 --> 00:57:55,392 ♪ And to know they're somehow not alone ♪ 1074 00:57:55,517 --> 00:57:58,768 {\an1}♪ Well, that's all they're hoping for ♪ 1075 00:57:58,893 --> 00:58:01,268 ♪ What if they ♪ 1076 00:58:01,393 --> 00:58:04,185 ♪ Didn't have to stay ♪ 1077 00:58:05,351 --> 00:58:07,268 ♪ Anonymous anymore? ♪ 1078 00:58:14,602 --> 00:58:18,227 ♪ Spot the girl who stays in motion ♪ 1079 00:58:18,352 --> 00:58:21,602 {\an1}♪ She spins so fast so she won't fall ♪ 1080 00:58:21,727 --> 00:58:24,602 {\an1}♪ She's built a wall with her achievements ♪ 1081 00:58:24,727 --> 00:58:26,602 ♪ To keep out the question ♪ 1082 00:58:26,727 --> 00:58:30,978 ♪ Without it, is she worth anything at all? ♪ 1083 00:58:31,103 --> 00:58:34,728 ♪ So nobody can know ♪ 1084 00:58:35,770 --> 00:58:39,895 ♪ Just what the cracks might show ♪ 1085 00:58:40,020 --> 00:58:46,229 ♪ How deep and dark they go ♪ 1086 00:58:46,354 --> 00:58:49,438 ♪ There are those anonymous ones ♪ 1087 00:58:49,563 --> 00:58:53,479 ♪ Stuck inside the perfect frame they're faking ♪ 1088 00:58:55,229 --> 00:58:58,104 ♪ All of us anonymous ones ♪ 1089 00:58:58,229 --> 00:59:03,022 ♪ Who pick themselves apart till they start breaking ♪ 1090 00:59:04,230 --> 00:59:06,605 {\an1}♪ And we keep on keeping secrets ♪ 1091 00:59:06,730 --> 00:59:08,814 {\an1}♪ That we think we have to hide ♪ 1092 00:59:08,939 --> 00:59:11,314 ♪ But what we really need is somebody ♪ 1093 00:59:11,439 --> 00:59:13,397 ♪ To see that secret side ♪ 1094 00:59:13,522 --> 00:59:16,981 ♪ And to know we're somehow not alone ♪ 1095 00:59:17,106 --> 00:59:19,856 ♪ Is all we're hoping for ♪ 1096 00:59:19,981 --> 00:59:24,148 ♪ And then we wouldn't have to be ♪ 1097 00:59:24,273 --> 00:59:26,148 ♪ Anonymous anymore ♪ 1098 00:59:32,690 --> 00:59:34,816 ♪ The parts we can't tell, we carry them well ♪ 1099 00:59:34,941 --> 00:59:37,357 {\an1}♪ But that doesn't mean they're not heavy ♪ 1100 00:59:37,482 --> 00:59:39,774 ♪ The parts we can't tell, we carry them well ♪ 1101 00:59:39,899 --> 00:59:42,274 {\an1}♪ But that doesn't mean they're not heavy ♪ 1102 00:59:42,399 --> 00:59:45,066 ♪ The anonymous one ♪ 1103 00:59:45,191 --> 00:59:47,524 ♪ Noticed by none ♪ 1104 00:59:49,567 --> 00:59:51,400 Go, Bobcats! 1105 00:59:51,525 --> 00:59:55,067 ♪ The parts we can't tell, we carry them well ♪ 1106 00:59:55,192 --> 00:59:58,567 {\an1}♪ But that doesn't mean they're not heavy. ♪ 1107 01:00:18,109 --> 01:00:19,401 "The Connor Project"? 1108 01:00:19,526 --> 01:00:20,985 Yeah, so it's a student group 1109 01:00:21,110 --> 01:00:24,152 dedicated to keeping Connor's memory alive. 1110 01:00:24,277 --> 01:00:26,485 Um, making sure people that need help, 1111 01:00:26,610 --> 01:00:28,152 they have somewhere they can go. 1112 01:00:28,277 --> 01:00:31,569 I didn't realize Connor meant this much to people. 1113 01:00:31,694 --> 01:00:33,694 {\an1}Well, it's all... I mean, it was all Alana's idea. 1114 01:00:33,819 --> 01:00:34,902 She thought of the whole thing. 1115 01:00:35,027 --> 01:00:36,360 That's the young woman 1116 01:00:36,485 --> 01:00:38,486 who organized the memorial tomorrow. 1117 01:00:38,611 --> 01:00:41,028 - Mm-hmm. - Well, she seems like... 1118 01:00:41,153 --> 01:00:42,945 - quite a force. - Yeah. 1119 01:00:43,070 --> 01:00:45,320 Um, anyways, um... 1120 01:00:45,445 --> 01:00:47,153 we just wanted to do something. 1121 01:00:47,278 --> 01:00:50,028 It's-it's r-really cool. 1122 01:00:54,737 --> 01:00:56,612 There's something I want to show you. 1123 01:00:57,612 --> 01:00:58,696 Sure. 1124 01:01:00,946 --> 01:01:02,821 Oh, here we go. 1125 01:01:04,404 --> 01:01:06,529 It's a bit of a mess, I know. 1126 01:01:06,654 --> 01:01:11,447 We still haven't decided what to do with, um, everything. 1127 01:01:13,863 --> 01:01:17,322 Oh, um... he used to write songs. 1128 01:01:17,447 --> 01:01:18,947 Or at least he told us he did. 1129 01:01:19,072 --> 01:01:21,113 He refused to play for us, so who knows? 1130 01:01:22,530 --> 01:01:25,489 He never played any for you? 1131 01:01:26,489 --> 01:01:28,114 No, he di... he didn't. 1132 01:01:28,239 --> 01:01:30,281 He... No. I'm sorry. 1133 01:01:33,364 --> 01:01:34,489 {\an1}Um... 1134 01:01:45,157 --> 01:01:46,824 Here it is. 1135 01:01:48,490 --> 01:01:50,824 It's a... 1136 01:01:50,949 --> 01:01:53,907 When Connor entered seventh grade, 1137 01:01:54,032 --> 01:01:56,324 all of my girlfriends said, 1138 01:01:56,449 --> 01:01:58,283 "Here it comes, Bar Mitzvah season. 1139 01:01:58,408 --> 01:02:02,241 He's gonna have a different party every Saturday." 1140 01:02:02,366 --> 01:02:04,408 {\an1}And Larry was so excited to take him shopping. 1141 01:02:04,533 --> 01:02:06,158 He dragged him to Brooks Brothers, 1142 01:02:06,283 --> 01:02:09,408 and they picked out a suit, some shirts and this tie. 1143 01:02:09,533 --> 01:02:13,867 He looked... just like his dad. 1144 01:02:19,242 --> 01:02:21,701 {\an1}He never got invited to a single party. 1145 01:02:27,159 --> 01:02:30,702 {\an1}He was such a sweet boy underneath it all. 1146 01:02:32,535 --> 01:02:35,493 Everything just hurt too much. 1147 01:02:38,535 --> 01:02:42,035 I thought that, uh, you could wear this to the memorial. 1148 01:02:42,160 --> 01:02:43,743 For your speech. 1149 01:02:45,786 --> 01:02:48,578 Oh, I'm not... I-I... 1150 01:02:48,703 --> 01:02:50,536 I wasn't... I'm-I'm not speaking. 1151 01:02:50,661 --> 01:02:52,244 Why not? 1152 01:02:52,369 --> 01:02:55,786 Well, I... I just don't think, um... 1153 01:02:58,036 --> 01:03:00,078 I mean, most people think that I'm... 1154 01:03:01,162 --> 01:03:02,495 ...not that cool of a person, 1155 01:03:02,620 --> 01:03:05,329 so nobody wants to hear from me. 1156 01:03:08,037 --> 01:03:10,329 Well, if... 1157 01:03:10,454 --> 01:03:13,454 that's what most people think... 1158 01:03:14,620 --> 01:03:17,121 ...it sounds like most people don't know you very well. 1159 01:03:19,246 --> 01:03:20,955 They didn't know Connor either. 1160 01:03:22,246 --> 01:03:24,330 They never bothered. 1161 01:03:24,455 --> 01:03:25,913 Hmm. 1162 01:03:28,746 --> 01:03:30,788 {\an1}You can tell them what they missed. 1163 01:03:38,331 --> 01:03:40,039 You're so handsome. 1164 01:04:16,708 --> 01:04:19,749 I'm so glad you changed your mind. 1165 01:04:30,417 --> 01:04:34,917 Today is a day of remembrance and reflection. 1166 01:04:35,042 --> 01:04:37,001 It sucks he isn't here to see this. 1167 01:04:37,126 --> 01:04:39,043 The first person we'll hear from this morning 1168 01:04:39,168 --> 01:04:41,293 is Evan Hansen. 1169 01:04:59,294 --> 01:05:01,336 Uh, good morning, s... 1170 01:05:01,461 --> 01:05:03,794 {\an1}Holy shit. 1171 01:05:06,127 --> 01:05:07,544 Sorry. 1172 01:05:07,669 --> 01:05:09,337 Sorry. 1173 01:05:11,795 --> 01:05:15,170 {\an1}Good morning, students and faculty. 1174 01:05:15,295 --> 01:05:18,378 I would like to say a few words to you today... 1175 01:05:20,503 --> 01:05:22,003 ...about my friend... 1176 01:05:23,712 --> 01:05:27,004 ...my best friend, Connor Murphy. 1177 01:05:27,129 --> 01:05:28,213 Holy shit. 1178 01:05:30,046 --> 01:05:31,879 I would like to tell you about the day that Connor and I 1179 01:05:32,004 --> 01:05:35,379 went hiking behind the old Autumn Smile Apple Orchard. 1180 01:05:35,504 --> 01:05:38,046 We found a huge oak tree. 1181 01:05:38,171 --> 01:05:40,213 Connor said that he wondered what the world would look like 1182 01:05:40,338 --> 01:05:44,130 from all the way up there, so we decided to find out. 1183 01:05:47,339 --> 01:05:49,589 We started climbing slowly. 1184 01:05:49,714 --> 01:05:51,547 And then, when I finally looked back, 1185 01:05:51,672 --> 01:05:53,464 we were already 30 feet off the ground. 1186 01:05:53,589 --> 01:05:55,630 Um, Connor just looked at me... 1187 01:05:57,465 --> 01:05:59,840 ...and smiled that way he always did. 1188 01:05:59,965 --> 01:06:02,090 Um, and then... 1189 01:06:11,256 --> 01:06:12,716 Um... 1190 01:06:13,841 --> 01:06:15,257 Sorry. Then I fell. 1191 01:06:15,382 --> 01:06:17,466 I-I lay there on the ground and... 1192 01:06:17,591 --> 01:06:20,882 Good morning, students and f-f... faculty. 1193 01:06:23,174 --> 01:06:25,466 Sorry, that... 1194 01:06:25,591 --> 01:06:26,841 Sorry, that's the wrong... 1195 01:07:24,803 --> 01:07:29,261 {\an1}♪ Have you ever felt like nobody was there? ♪ 1196 01:07:31,636 --> 01:07:37,762 ♪ Have you ever felt forgotten in the middle of nowhere? ♪ 1197 01:07:38,971 --> 01:07:42,762 {\an1}♪ Have you ever felt like you could disappear? ♪ 1198 01:07:44,679 --> 01:07:46,304 ♪ Like you could fall ♪ 1199 01:07:47,637 --> 01:07:49,763 ♪ And no one would hear ♪ 1200 01:07:52,638 --> 01:07:55,513 But, see, the thing is, when I looked up, Connor was there. 1201 01:07:57,888 --> 01:07:59,888 That's the gift he gave me. 1202 01:08:00,888 --> 01:08:02,680 To show me th-that I wasn't alone. 1203 01:08:02,805 --> 01:08:04,264 Um, nobody is. 1204 01:08:04,389 --> 01:08:07,348 {\an1}That's-that's the gift that he gave all of us. 1205 01:08:07,473 --> 01:08:09,514 I just wish... 1206 01:08:11,473 --> 01:08:13,139 {\an1}I wish we could've given that to him. 1207 01:08:16,139 --> 01:08:17,431 So... 1208 01:08:17,556 --> 01:08:21,765 ♪ Let that lonely feeling wash away ♪ 1209 01:08:23,432 --> 01:08:29,140 ♪ Maybe there's a reason to believe you'll be okay ♪ 1210 01:08:29,265 --> 01:08:34,557 ♪ 'Cause when you don't feel strong enough to stand ♪ 1211 01:08:34,682 --> 01:08:40,308 ♪ You can reach, reach out your hand ♪ 1212 01:08:41,683 --> 01:08:47,141 ♪ And, oh, someone will come running ♪ 1213 01:08:47,266 --> 01:08:52,892 ♪ And I know they'll take you home ♪ 1214 01:08:55,684 --> 01:08:58,809 {\an1}♪ Even when the dark comes crashing through ♪ 1215 01:08:58,934 --> 01:09:02,101 ♪ When you need a friend to carry you ♪ 1216 01:09:02,226 --> 01:09:06,101 ♪ And when you're broken on the ground ♪ 1217 01:09:06,226 --> 01:09:08,768 ♪ You will be found ♪ 1218 01:09:08,893 --> 01:09:11,435 ♪ So let the sun come streaming in ♪ 1219 01:09:11,560 --> 01:09:14,727 {\an1}♪ 'Cause you'll reach up and you'll rise again ♪ 1220 01:09:14,852 --> 01:09:17,518 {\an1}♪ Lift your head and look around ♪ 1221 01:09:18,768 --> 01:09:23,435 ♪ You will be found ♪ 1222 01:09:24,394 --> 01:09:28,811 ♪ You will be found ♪ 1223 01:09:29,769 --> 01:09:34,228 ♪ You will be found ♪ 1224 01:09:35,186 --> 01:09:39,853 ♪ You will be found ♪ 1225 01:09:40,812 --> 01:09:42,937 ♪ You will be found ♪ 1226 01:09:53,895 --> 01:09:55,354 Have you seen this? 1227 01:09:55,479 --> 01:09:56,938 People started sharing it, 1228 01:09:57,063 --> 01:09:58,730 {\an1}and now, I mean, it's everywhere. 1229 01:09:58,855 --> 01:10:00,480 This morning, it only had, like, 30 views. 1230 01:10:00,605 --> 01:10:02,105 Well, how many does it have now? 1231 01:10:02,230 --> 01:10:04,355 723. 1232 01:10:04,480 --> 01:10:07,438 2,326 views. 1233 01:10:07,563 --> 01:10:10,021 14,359. 1234 01:10:10,146 --> 01:10:12,981 I don't understand what happened. 1235 01:10:13,106 --> 01:10:14,564 You did. 1236 01:10:16,647 --> 01:10:19,939 ♪ There's a place where we don't have to feel unknown ♪ 1237 01:10:20,064 --> 01:10:21,106 Oh, my God. 1238 01:10:21,231 --> 01:10:22,606 Everybody needs to see this. 1239 01:10:22,731 --> 01:10:24,606 ♪ And every time that you call out ♪ 1240 01:10:24,731 --> 01:10:26,647 ♪ You're a little less alone ♪ 1241 01:10:26,772 --> 01:10:28,523 - I can't stop watching this video. - ...17 years old. 1242 01:10:28,648 --> 01:10:30,773 ♪ If you only say the word ♪ 1243 01:10:30,898 --> 01:10:32,648 {\an1}- Take five minutes. - It'll make your day. 1244 01:10:32,773 --> 01:10:38,232 ♪ From across the silence, your voice is heard ♪ 1245 01:10:38,357 --> 01:10:39,565 ♪ Oh ♪ 1246 01:10:39,690 --> 01:10:41,107 Share it with the people you love. 1247 01:10:41,232 --> 01:10:43,190 - Repost. - The world needs to hear this. 1248 01:10:43,315 --> 01:10:44,816 Beautiful tribute. 1249 01:10:44,941 --> 01:10:46,941 I know someone who really needed to hear this today. 1250 01:10:47,066 --> 01:10:49,608 So thank you, Evan Hansen, for doing what you're doing. 1251 01:10:49,733 --> 01:10:52,608 {\an1}I never met you, Connor, but coming on here, 1252 01:10:52,733 --> 01:10:53,983 reading everyone's posts... 1253 01:10:54,108 --> 01:10:55,774 Evan is exactly right. We are not alone. 1254 01:10:55,899 --> 01:10:57,316 We are not alone. 1255 01:10:57,441 --> 01:10:58,524 None of us. 1256 01:10:58,649 --> 01:10:59,691 None of us are alone. 1257 01:10:59,816 --> 01:11:01,275 {\an1}- Like. - Forward. - Especially now, 1258 01:11:01,400 --> 01:11:02,775 with everything you hear on the news. 1259 01:11:02,900 --> 01:11:04,234 - Like. - Share. - Repost. - Forward. 1260 01:11:04,359 --> 01:11:05,734 Thank you, Evan Hansen, 1261 01:11:05,859 --> 01:11:07,109 {\an1}for giving us a space to remember Connor. 1262 01:11:07,234 --> 01:11:08,942 {\an1}- Thanks to Evan. - To be together. 1263 01:11:09,067 --> 01:11:09,900 - Thanks for helping my mom. - Thank you for helping my mom. 1264 01:11:10,025 --> 01:11:11,400 Thank you, Evan Hansen. 1265 01:11:11,525 --> 01:11:12,484 - ♪ To take you home... ♪ - Vermont. - Tampa. 1266 01:11:12,609 --> 01:11:13,942 {\an1}- Sacramento. - Michigan. 1267 01:11:14,067 --> 01:11:14,900 - ♪ Someone will come... ♪ - Just reach out. 1268 01:11:15,025 --> 01:11:16,360 Thank you, Evan. 1269 01:11:16,485 --> 01:11:17,526 This is about community and friendship. 1270 01:11:17,651 --> 01:11:18,485 {\an1}- Thank you, Evan. - Thank you. 1271 01:11:19,651 --> 01:11:21,151 Thank you, Evan Hansen. 1272 01:11:21,276 --> 01:11:24,401 {\an1}♪ Even when the dark comes crashing through ♪ 1273 01:11:24,526 --> 01:11:27,610 ♪ When you need a friend to carry you ♪ 1274 01:11:27,735 --> 01:11:30,651 ♪ When you're broken on the ground ♪ 1275 01:11:30,776 --> 01:11:32,944 ♪ You will be found ♪ 1276 01:11:33,069 --> 01:11:35,319 ♪ So let the sun come streaming in ♪ 1277 01:11:35,444 --> 01:11:38,569 {\an1}♪ 'Cause you'll reach up and you'll rise again ♪ 1278 01:11:38,694 --> 01:11:41,652 ♪ If you only look around ♪ 1279 01:11:41,777 --> 01:11:47,069 {\an1}♪ You will be found, you will be found ♪ 1280 01:11:47,194 --> 01:11:48,737 ♪ You will be found ♪ 1281 01:11:48,862 --> 01:11:53,987 {\an1}♪ You will be found, you will be found ♪ 1282 01:11:54,112 --> 01:11:58,862 {\an1}♪ Out of the shadows, the morning is breaking ♪ 1283 01:11:58,987 --> 01:12:02,195 ♪ And all is new ♪ 1284 01:12:02,320 --> 01:12:05,071 ♪ All is new ♪ 1285 01:12:05,196 --> 01:12:08,029 ♪ It's filling up the empty ♪ 1286 01:12:08,154 --> 01:12:10,654 ♪ And suddenly I see ♪ 1287 01:12:10,779 --> 01:12:12,696 ♪ That all is new ♪ 1288 01:12:12,821 --> 01:12:15,904 ♪ All is new ♪ 1289 01:12:16,029 --> 01:12:20,697 {\an1}♪ You are not alone, you are not alone ♪ 1290 01:12:20,822 --> 01:12:23,947 ♪ You are not alone ♪ 1291 01:12:24,072 --> 01:12:28,364 {\an1}♪ You are not alone, you are not alone ♪ 1292 01:12:28,489 --> 01:12:30,322 {\an1}- ♪ You are not alone ♪ - ♪ You are not alone ♪ 1293 01:12:30,447 --> 01:12:31,655 ♪ You are not alone ♪ 1294 01:12:31,780 --> 01:12:33,530 ♪ You are not ♪ 1295 01:12:33,655 --> 01:12:37,906 {\an1}- ♪ You are not alone ♪ - ♪ You are not alone ♪ 1296 01:12:38,031 --> 01:12:40,656 {\an1}♪ Even when the dark comes crashing through ♪ 1297 01:12:40,781 --> 01:12:43,781 ♪ When you need someone to carry you ♪ 1298 01:12:43,906 --> 01:12:46,656 ♪ When you're broken on the ground ♪ 1299 01:12:46,781 --> 01:12:49,031 ♪ You will be found ♪ 1300 01:12:49,156 --> 01:12:51,490 ♪ So let the sun come streaming in ♪ 1301 01:12:51,615 --> 01:12:54,574 {\an1}♪ 'Cause you'll reach up and you'll rise again ♪ 1302 01:12:54,699 --> 01:12:57,824 ♪ If you only look around ♪ 1303 01:12:57,949 --> 01:13:00,032 ♪ You will be found ♪ 1304 01:13:00,157 --> 01:13:03,782 {\an1}♪ Even when the dark comes crashing through ♪ 1305 01:13:03,907 --> 01:13:05,407 ♪ You will be found ♪ 1306 01:13:05,532 --> 01:13:08,325 ♪ When you need someone to carry you ♪ 1307 01:13:08,450 --> 01:13:13,075 ♪ You will be found ♪ 1308 01:13:14,033 --> 01:13:17,908 ♪ You will be found. ♪ 1309 01:13:27,243 --> 01:13:28,576 Hey. 1310 01:13:28,701 --> 01:13:30,368 What's wrong? 1311 01:13:32,743 --> 01:13:35,201 Everything you said in your speech. 1312 01:13:35,326 --> 01:13:37,909 Everything you've done. 1313 01:13:38,034 --> 01:13:40,619 You don't know how much... 1314 01:13:40,744 --> 01:13:43,494 you've given all of us. 1315 01:13:43,619 --> 01:13:44,785 My family. 1316 01:13:44,910 --> 01:13:46,577 Me. 1317 01:13:46,702 --> 01:13:48,244 No. 1318 01:13:48,369 --> 01:13:49,994 No, I... 1319 01:13:50,119 --> 01:13:52,910 You've given me my brother back. 1320 01:14:41,830 --> 01:14:43,788 Welcome to the first official meeting 1321 01:14:43,914 --> 01:14:45,539 of The Connor Project. 1322 01:14:49,873 --> 01:14:51,289 Right? 1323 01:14:52,206 --> 01:14:55,956 {\an1}Um, now, as you all know from Evan's speech, 1324 01:14:56,081 --> 01:14:58,623 uh, Connor's favorite place in the entire world 1325 01:14:58,748 --> 01:15:00,624 was the Autumn Smile Apple Orchard. 1326 01:15:00,749 --> 01:15:03,457 I am beyond excited to announce that, 1327 01:15:03,582 --> 01:15:05,915 in addition to our support groups, we will be launching 1328 01:15:06,040 --> 01:15:10,999 a Kickstarter campaign to raise $100,000 to reopen and redesign 1329 01:15:11,124 --> 01:15:14,082 Autumn Smile as the Connor Murphy Memorial Orchard. 1330 01:15:16,916 --> 01:15:20,500 Um, so to explain what we're going to be asking of you, 1331 01:15:20,625 --> 01:15:22,000 I'm gonna turn things over 1332 01:15:22,125 --> 01:15:25,166 to our director of global communications. 1333 01:15:25,291 --> 01:15:26,791 Thanks, Alana. 1334 01:15:26,916 --> 01:15:28,250 So great. 1335 01:15:28,375 --> 01:15:30,666 Our new website is now live. 1336 01:15:30,791 --> 01:15:32,584 If you have not yet read 1337 01:15:32,709 --> 01:15:35,709 the emails between Evan and Connor... 1338 01:15:35,834 --> 01:15:38,501 {\an1}oh, you're gonna want to grab some tissues. 1339 01:15:42,251 --> 01:15:46,501 I swear, I've got a Cal Ripken here somewhere. 1340 01:15:46,626 --> 01:15:48,752 Look at that, hmm? 1341 01:15:49,752 --> 01:15:51,793 The entire '96 team. 1342 01:15:51,918 --> 01:15:53,293 There's three Hall of Famers on there. 1343 01:15:53,418 --> 01:15:54,877 - Wow. - You get the right people, 1344 01:15:55,002 --> 01:15:57,377 baseball fans, uh, you could raise 1345 01:15:57,502 --> 01:15:59,627 at least a few hundred bucks for the orchard, 1346 01:15:59,752 --> 01:16:01,168 maybe a couple thousand. 1347 01:16:01,293 --> 01:16:03,127 Yeah, but... 1348 01:16:03,252 --> 01:16:06,753 I mean, you should, you should probably keep all this stuff. 1349 01:16:06,878 --> 01:16:09,669 {\an1}Oh, uh, it's just gonna sit here gathering dust. 1350 01:16:12,794 --> 01:16:14,794 Uh, stiff as a board, isn't it? 1351 01:16:14,919 --> 01:16:16,711 Yeah. 1352 01:16:16,836 --> 01:16:17,919 Well, it's never been used. 1353 01:16:18,044 --> 01:16:19,419 Connor... 1354 01:16:20,629 --> 01:16:22,629 ...he loved baseball. 1355 01:16:22,754 --> 01:16:25,045 When he was little. 1356 01:16:25,170 --> 01:16:27,212 First time I met him, uh... 1357 01:16:27,337 --> 01:16:29,212 Cynthia wasn't sure how the kids would react, all right? 1358 01:16:29,337 --> 01:16:30,545 She was terrified. 1359 01:16:30,670 --> 01:16:33,462 And I was terrified. 1360 01:16:33,587 --> 01:16:35,462 I mean... 1361 01:16:35,587 --> 01:16:37,255 five minutes in... 1362 01:16:39,213 --> 01:16:43,005 Connor's, like, pulling my arm, uh... 1363 01:16:44,171 --> 01:16:46,463 "Come on, let's go play catch." 1364 01:16:48,005 --> 01:16:49,671 He... 1365 01:16:53,589 --> 01:16:56,089 I bought that... I don't know... two years ago. 1366 01:16:56,214 --> 01:16:59,339 I thought, you know, maybe we could... 1367 01:17:06,089 --> 01:17:07,297 So stupid. 1368 01:17:07,422 --> 01:17:10,965 He was really lucky to have a step... 1369 01:17:13,298 --> 01:17:15,173 ...to have a dad like you. 1370 01:17:17,090 --> 01:17:20,632 {\an1}Your dad must feel pretty lucky to... 1371 01:17:21,923 --> 01:17:23,632 ...have a son like you. 1372 01:17:26,549 --> 01:17:28,383 Yeah, he does. 1373 01:18:04,218 --> 01:18:07,260 You know, I-I saw the strangest thing 1374 01:18:07,385 --> 01:18:09,593 - on-on Facebook yesterday. - Really? 1375 01:18:09,718 --> 01:18:14,344 {\an1}Um, somebody had a video of you doing a speech. 1376 01:18:15,344 --> 01:18:19,802 About that boy, Connor Murphy. 1377 01:18:19,927 --> 01:18:23,469 {\an1}How the two of you climbed a tree together 1378 01:18:23,594 --> 01:18:25,302 at an orchard. 1379 01:18:27,261 --> 01:18:29,678 You told me that you didn't know him, but in the speech, 1380 01:18:29,803 --> 01:18:31,512 you said that he was your best friend. 1381 01:18:31,637 --> 01:18:32,762 Right, well... 1382 01:18:34,012 --> 01:18:35,470 ...'cause that wasn't true. 1383 01:18:35,595 --> 01:18:36,845 Um... 1384 01:18:39,845 --> 01:18:41,345 When I said I didn't know him. 1385 01:18:41,470 --> 01:18:43,012 Mm. 1386 01:18:43,137 --> 01:18:46,721 I thought that you broke your arm at-at work. 1387 01:18:46,846 --> 01:18:49,054 Okay, well, who do you think drove me to urgent care 1388 01:18:49,179 --> 01:18:50,721 and-and waited there with me? 1389 01:18:50,846 --> 01:18:52,596 You were at work. You remember? 1390 01:18:52,721 --> 01:18:53,971 I couldn't even... You didn't, you didn't answer your phone. 1391 01:18:54,096 --> 01:18:55,679 You-you told me that your boss took you. 1392 01:18:55,804 --> 01:18:57,304 Well, so I lied, obviously. 1393 01:18:57,429 --> 01:18:59,930 So when were you planning on telling me any of this? 1394 01:19:00,055 --> 01:19:01,597 When would I tell you exactly? When are you even here? 1395 01:19:01,722 --> 01:19:04,055 - I'm here now. - Okay. 1396 01:19:05,389 --> 01:19:08,389 You know, I-I-I talked to Dr. Sherman, and he told me 1397 01:19:08,514 --> 01:19:09,889 - you've been skipping appointments. - I missed one. 1398 01:19:10,014 --> 01:19:11,972 You know those aren't free. 1399 01:19:17,473 --> 01:19:19,640 Sorry. I'm sorry. 1400 01:19:20,640 --> 01:19:22,931 I'm... 1401 01:19:24,640 --> 01:19:27,348 I'm so happy you had a friend, sweetheart. 1402 01:19:28,848 --> 01:19:30,515 I'm sorry he's gone. 1403 01:19:30,640 --> 01:19:32,516 I just wish I'd known. 1404 01:19:36,516 --> 01:19:38,557 That speech you gave, it... 1405 01:19:41,141 --> 01:19:43,391 I don't even know what to say. I'm... 1406 01:19:44,807 --> 01:19:46,641 I'm proud of you. 1407 01:19:49,558 --> 01:19:50,892 Thanks. 1408 01:20:06,393 --> 01:20:07,434 Hi. 1409 01:20:09,268 --> 01:20:11,143 This is a cool surprise. 1410 01:20:13,143 --> 01:20:14,934 Um... 1411 01:20:15,059 --> 01:20:17,059 Can I get you anything or...? 1412 01:20:17,184 --> 01:20:18,851 Just water. 1413 01:20:19,852 --> 01:20:22,310 {\an1}- Just water? You're sure? - Yeah. That's perfect. 1414 01:20:23,310 --> 01:20:24,394 Coming up. 1415 01:20:28,977 --> 01:20:30,060 Where's your mom? 1416 01:20:30,185 --> 01:20:32,935 She works late on Fridays. 1417 01:20:33,060 --> 01:20:35,227 Oh. I wanted to meet her. 1418 01:20:35,352 --> 01:20:37,811 Yeah, that would've been great. 1419 01:20:41,478 --> 01:20:42,686 What's this? 1420 01:20:42,811 --> 01:20:44,561 Oh, it's just my mom is obsessed 1421 01:20:44,686 --> 01:20:46,728 with these college scholarship essay contests. 1422 01:20:46,853 --> 01:20:48,936 I mean, I'd-I'd-I'd have to win probably, like, all of them 1423 01:20:49,061 --> 01:20:52,812 to actually pay for college, so... 1424 01:20:54,479 --> 01:20:56,479 Your parents, they-they can't...? 1425 01:20:56,604 --> 01:20:58,562 Uh, not really. 1426 01:21:00,062 --> 01:21:01,312 I'm sorry. 1427 01:21:10,147 --> 01:21:12,272 Is your room upstairs? 1428 01:21:16,855 --> 01:21:18,563 Yeah. It's, um... 1429 01:21:21,147 --> 01:21:22,397 Yeah. 1430 01:21:29,981 --> 01:21:32,481 Yeah, so it's, like, a pretty standard sort of room, I guess. 1431 01:21:32,606 --> 01:21:33,898 So... 1432 01:21:34,023 --> 01:21:35,856 Hey. Oh, um... 1433 01:21:35,981 --> 01:21:37,689 actually, I meant to tell you this before. 1434 01:21:37,814 --> 01:21:40,315 {\an1}Um, so Alana and I had a really good... 1435 01:21:41,732 --> 01:21:44,315 {\an1}Um, we had a really good meeting this morning, 1436 01:21:44,440 --> 01:21:46,440 {\an1}and I think that... y-you probably noticed, 1437 01:21:46,565 --> 01:21:49,274 um, that, uh, you know, a lot of people were giving, 1438 01:21:49,399 --> 01:21:52,024 uh, during that first week, which is definitely great, 1439 01:21:52,149 --> 01:21:54,482 but, um, it sort of slowed down a bit, obviously. 1440 01:21:54,607 --> 01:21:55,858 But Alana and I are really confident 1441 01:21:55,983 --> 01:21:57,275 that it's gonna pick right back up. 1442 01:21:57,400 --> 01:21:59,650 I think it's just a m... a matter of... 1443 01:22:00,650 --> 01:22:02,983 {\an1}Can I talk to you about something? 1444 01:22:06,608 --> 01:22:08,066 Yes. 1445 01:22:12,401 --> 01:22:14,109 Uh... 1446 01:22:14,234 --> 01:22:16,609 The Connor Project is... awesome. 1447 01:22:16,734 --> 01:22:19,484 It's-it's really, really cool. 1448 01:22:19,609 --> 01:22:20,859 Oh. 1449 01:22:22,026 --> 01:22:24,359 - Thank you. - It's just that, my whole life, 1450 01:22:24,484 --> 01:22:25,984 everything has been about him. 1451 01:22:26,109 --> 01:22:29,610 And maybe the two of us... 1452 01:22:31,068 --> 01:22:33,568 ...maybe we don't have to talk about my brother all the time. 1453 01:22:33,693 --> 01:22:35,902 Maybe we can... 1454 01:22:36,027 --> 01:22:39,402 talk about other things. 1455 01:22:47,528 --> 01:22:48,903 I like you. 1456 01:22:51,528 --> 01:22:55,153 And it's not because you were friends with my brother 1457 01:22:55,278 --> 01:22:57,153 or because of The Connor Project. 1458 01:22:59,987 --> 01:23:02,570 I like you 'cause... 1459 01:23:02,695 --> 01:23:04,570 you. 1460 01:23:04,695 --> 01:23:08,945 ♪ I don't need you to sell me on reasons to want you ♪ 1461 01:23:11,529 --> 01:23:15,613 ♪ I don't need you to search for the proof that I should ♪ 1462 01:23:18,363 --> 01:23:21,946 ♪ You don't have to convince me ♪ 1463 01:23:22,071 --> 01:23:25,863 ♪ You don't have to be scared you're not enough ♪ 1464 01:23:25,988 --> 01:23:28,863 ♪ 'Cause what we've got going ♪ 1465 01:23:28,988 --> 01:23:31,196 {\an1}♪ Is good ♪ 1466 01:23:32,197 --> 01:23:36,531 ♪ I don't need more reminders of all that's been broken ♪ 1467 01:23:38,947 --> 01:23:43,697 {\an1}♪ I don't need you to fix what I'd rather forget ♪ 1468 01:23:45,406 --> 01:23:49,115 {\an1}♪ Clear the slate and start over ♪ 1469 01:23:49,240 --> 01:23:53,698 ♪ Try to quiet the noises in your head ♪ 1470 01:23:53,823 --> 01:23:56,907 ♪ We can't compete with all that ♪ 1471 01:23:59,490 --> 01:24:01,573 ♪ So what if it's us? ♪ 1472 01:24:01,698 --> 01:24:06,408 ♪ What if it's us and only us ♪ 1473 01:24:06,533 --> 01:24:11,449 ♪ And what came before won't count anymore or matter? ♪ 1474 01:24:11,574 --> 01:24:13,699 ♪ Can we try that? ♪ 1475 01:24:13,824 --> 01:24:17,074 ♪ What if it's you, what if it's me ♪ 1476 01:24:17,199 --> 01:24:21,034 {\an1}♪ And what if that's all that we need it to be ♪ 1477 01:24:21,159 --> 01:24:24,492 ♪ And the rest of the world falls away? ♪ 1478 01:24:25,659 --> 01:24:26,825 ♪ What do you say? ♪ 1479 01:24:26,950 --> 01:24:28,617 ♪ I never thought there'd be ♪ 1480 01:24:28,742 --> 01:24:31,534 {\an1}♪ Someone like you who would want me ♪ 1481 01:24:31,659 --> 01:24:32,867 Well... 1482 01:24:32,992 --> 01:24:36,118 ♪ So I give you 10,000 reasons ♪ 1483 01:24:36,243 --> 01:24:38,285 ♪ To not let me go ♪ 1484 01:24:40,660 --> 01:24:44,701 ♪ But if you really see me ♪ 1485 01:24:44,826 --> 01:24:49,035 {\an1}♪ If you like me for me and nothing else ♪ 1486 01:24:49,160 --> 01:24:50,868 {\an1}♪ Well, that's all that I've wanted ♪ 1487 01:24:50,993 --> 01:24:55,119 ♪ For longer than you could possibly know ♪ 1488 01:24:55,244 --> 01:24:57,119 ♪ So it can be us ♪ 1489 01:24:57,244 --> 01:25:02,119 ♪ It can be us and only us ♪ 1490 01:25:02,244 --> 01:25:07,245 ♪ And what came before won't count anymore or matter ♪ 1491 01:25:07,370 --> 01:25:09,203 ♪ We can try that ♪ 1492 01:25:09,328 --> 01:25:12,953 ♪ It's not so impossible ♪ 1493 01:25:13,078 --> 01:25:15,787 ♪ Nobody else but the two of us here ♪ 1494 01:25:15,912 --> 01:25:19,745 ♪ 'Cause you're saying it's possible ♪ 1495 01:25:19,870 --> 01:25:23,120 ♪ We can just watch the whole world disappear ♪ 1496 01:25:23,246 --> 01:25:28,496 ♪ Till you're the only one ♪ 1497 01:25:28,621 --> 01:25:35,288 ♪ I still know how to see ♪ 1498 01:25:38,704 --> 01:25:40,330 ♪ It's just you and me ♪ 1499 01:25:40,455 --> 01:25:42,747 ♪ It'll be us ♪ 1500 01:25:42,872 --> 01:25:47,747 ♪ It'll be us and only us ♪ 1501 01:25:47,872 --> 01:25:52,455 {\an1}♪ And what came before won't count anymore ♪ 1502 01:25:52,580 --> 01:25:55,080 ♪ We can try that ♪ 1503 01:25:55,206 --> 01:25:58,706 ♪ You and me ♪ 1504 01:25:58,831 --> 01:26:01,998 ♪ That's all that we need it to be ♪ 1505 01:26:02,123 --> 01:26:05,540 ♪ And the rest of the world falls away ♪ 1506 01:26:05,665 --> 01:26:11,666 ♪ And the rest of the world falls away ♪ 1507 01:26:13,666 --> 01:26:16,332 ♪ The world falls away ♪ 1508 01:26:17,499 --> 01:26:20,499 ♪ The world falls away ♪ 1509 01:26:26,541 --> 01:26:28,583 ♪ The world falls away ♪ 1510 01:26:29,917 --> 01:26:32,667 ♪ The world falls away ♪ 1511 01:26:33,667 --> 01:26:36,417 ♪ The world falls away ♪ 1512 01:26:37,542 --> 01:26:40,458 ♪ The world falls away ♪ 1513 01:26:48,168 --> 01:26:49,584 ♪ The world falls away ♪ 1514 01:26:49,709 --> 01:26:51,709 All right, let's just start without him. 1515 01:26:51,834 --> 01:26:55,418 ♪ The world falls away ♪ 1516 01:26:55,543 --> 01:27:01,419 ♪ And it's only us. ♪ 1517 01:27:17,628 --> 01:27:18,503 No. 1518 01:27:18,628 --> 01:27:19,878 I'm famous for doing that. 1519 01:27:20,003 --> 01:27:21,003 I've been told that many times. 1520 01:27:21,128 --> 01:27:22,003 {\an1}Mm-hmm. 1521 01:27:22,128 --> 01:27:23,003 Hi, honey. 1522 01:27:23,128 --> 01:27:24,461 Come join us. 1523 01:27:24,586 --> 01:27:26,878 - I just put dinner in the oven. - Hi. 1524 01:27:29,295 --> 01:27:30,586 She made me swear to keep it a surprise. 1525 01:27:30,711 --> 01:27:31,962 I'm surprised. 1526 01:27:32,087 --> 01:27:33,254 Hi. 1527 01:27:33,379 --> 01:27:34,879 It's so nice to finally meet you. 1528 01:27:35,004 --> 01:27:36,462 {\an1}- Oh, hi. - Hi. 1529 01:27:36,587 --> 01:27:38,129 Yeah, uh, great. 1530 01:27:38,254 --> 01:27:40,129 {\an1}- It's great. 1531 01:27:40,254 --> 01:27:41,796 Come on, Evan. Sit. 1532 01:27:43,754 --> 01:27:45,712 I-I thought that you were working tonight. 1533 01:27:45,837 --> 01:27:47,922 Cynthia called and invited me for dinner, 1534 01:27:48,047 --> 01:27:49,797 so, you know, I'm playing hooky. 1535 01:27:49,922 --> 01:27:52,047 We were just discussing how sneaky you and Connor were. 1536 01:27:52,172 --> 01:27:54,672 I had no idea that he and Connor were even friends. 1537 01:27:54,797 --> 01:27:56,172 Oh, we were the same. 1538 01:27:56,297 --> 01:27:57,713 {\an1}You know, boys love their secrets. 1539 01:27:57,838 --> 01:27:59,713 {\an1}Something smells good. What's for dinner? 1540 01:27:59,838 --> 01:28:01,547 Oh, it's chicken Milanese, your favorite. 1541 01:28:01,672 --> 01:28:03,506 Oh, actually his favorite is 1542 01:28:03,631 --> 01:28:04,881 my great-grandmother's black beans. 1543 01:28:05,006 --> 01:28:06,089 Really? 1544 01:28:06,214 --> 01:28:07,423 Well, he's the only one 1545 01:28:07,548 --> 01:28:08,714 {\an1}that appreciates my cooking, so... 1546 01:28:08,839 --> 01:28:10,256 - That's not true. - Uh, another drop? 1547 01:28:10,381 --> 01:28:12,381 Oh, no, no. I'm-I'm fine. Thank you. 1548 01:28:12,506 --> 01:28:14,839 Oh, um, fascinating story about the wine. 1549 01:28:14,964 --> 01:28:17,548 It's from a vineyard in Napa, 1550 01:28:17,673 --> 01:28:20,632 and the entire growing process from start to finish, 1551 01:28:20,757 --> 01:28:22,549 100% sustainable. 1552 01:28:22,674 --> 01:28:24,007 Is that right? 1553 01:28:24,132 --> 01:28:26,465 Not to mention, it tastes good, too. 1554 01:28:26,590 --> 01:28:27,715 - Mm-hmm. It does. - Mm. 1555 01:28:27,840 --> 01:28:30,090 You know, I-I didn't realize, uh... 1556 01:28:30,215 --> 01:28:31,465 {\an1}Cynthia and Larry were telling me 1557 01:28:31,590 --> 01:28:33,132 that you spend so much time here. 1558 01:28:33,257 --> 01:28:34,924 {\an1}Yeah, I... you've been working a lot, so... 1559 01:28:35,050 --> 01:28:37,008 Why did I think you were at Jared's? 1560 01:28:37,133 --> 01:28:38,508 I-I don't know. 1561 01:28:38,633 --> 01:28:39,966 Evan was showing me 1562 01:28:40,091 --> 01:28:43,216 {\an1}all of those scholarship contests that you found. 1563 01:28:43,341 --> 01:28:44,383 It's really impressive. 1564 01:28:44,508 --> 01:28:47,175 Well, Evan is a great writer. 1565 01:28:47,300 --> 01:28:48,800 Well, that does not 1566 01:28:48,925 --> 01:28:50,341 surprise me at all. 1567 01:28:51,301 --> 01:28:53,717 His English teacher last year told me that he wrote 1568 01:28:53,842 --> 01:28:56,176 {\an1}one of the best papers she'd ever read on Sulu. 1569 01:28:56,301 --> 01:28:57,259 Is that right? 1570 01:28:57,384 --> 01:28:59,676 - It's Sula. - What? 1571 01:28:59,801 --> 01:29:01,176 You said "Sulu." It's Sula. 1572 01:29:01,301 --> 01:29:03,259 Yeah, I believe Sulu's 1573 01:29:03,384 --> 01:29:05,176 a character on Star Trek. 1574 01:29:08,802 --> 01:29:10,177 My mistake. 1575 01:29:11,885 --> 01:29:15,093 So, speaking of scholarships... 1576 01:29:16,052 --> 01:29:17,427 Oh, right, uh... 1577 01:29:17,552 --> 01:29:19,718 Yeah, well, I guess... 1578 01:29:19,843 --> 01:29:23,094 now's as good a time as any. 1579 01:29:23,219 --> 01:29:25,303 Uh... 1580 01:29:25,428 --> 01:29:27,636 Cynthia, do you want to...? 1581 01:29:27,761 --> 01:29:28,636 Hmm. 1582 01:29:28,761 --> 01:29:30,719 Well, um... 1583 01:29:30,844 --> 01:29:34,344 Zoe happened to mention that Evan was having some difficulty 1584 01:29:34,469 --> 01:29:38,136 in terms of the financial burden of college. 1585 01:29:38,261 --> 01:29:41,554 {\an1}And Larry and I started thinking, 1586 01:29:41,679 --> 01:29:43,387 and we've been fortunate enough 1587 01:29:43,512 --> 01:29:45,720 to set some money aside for Connor. 1588 01:29:49,304 --> 01:29:50,929 Um, I'm good. 1589 01:29:51,054 --> 01:29:52,720 - I'm okay. - Yeah. 1590 01:29:52,845 --> 01:29:55,180 Heidi, with your blessing, we would like to give Evan 1591 01:29:55,305 --> 01:29:56,930 the money that we set aside for our son 1592 01:29:57,055 --> 01:30:00,971 so he can fulfill his dreams. 1593 01:30:06,638 --> 01:30:09,055 Thank you so much... 1594 01:30:09,180 --> 01:30:10,805 but we're gonna be fine. 1595 01:30:10,930 --> 01:30:13,222 I don't have a lot of money, but I-I do have some. 1596 01:30:13,347 --> 01:30:14,847 Oh. 1597 01:30:14,972 --> 01:30:16,556 No, no, no, no, no. I didn't mean to intimate... 1598 01:30:16,681 --> 01:30:19,056 No, no, I understand, but, um, we do have money, 1599 01:30:19,181 --> 01:30:22,639 so I'm sorry you were under the impression that we didn't. 1600 01:30:22,764 --> 01:30:24,889 And whatever money we don't have, 1601 01:30:25,014 --> 01:30:27,890 Evan will either make up for with a job 1602 01:30:28,015 --> 01:30:29,557 or he'll get a scholarship. 1603 01:30:29,682 --> 01:30:32,473 I don't want my son to get the idea that it's okay 1604 01:30:32,598 --> 01:30:34,015 to rely on other people for favors. 1605 01:30:34,140 --> 01:30:35,932 - Well, it's not a favor. - No. 1606 01:30:36,057 --> 01:30:38,223 But as his mother, I need to set that example. 1607 01:30:38,348 --> 01:30:40,265 You can't expect things from strangers. 1608 01:30:40,390 --> 01:30:42,223 Oh, we're not strangers. 1609 01:30:42,348 --> 01:30:44,599 No, of course not. 1610 01:30:45,599 --> 01:30:47,474 But you're not family either. 1611 01:30:55,058 --> 01:30:56,558 Mom, just hold on. 1612 01:30:56,724 --> 01:30:58,433 No, I think I better get to work, 1613 01:30:58,558 --> 01:31:00,225 see if I can grab a shift now that I know 1614 01:31:00,350 --> 01:31:02,309 {\an1}how concerned you are about our finances. 1615 01:31:02,434 --> 01:31:03,725 Mom, will you please come back inside? 1616 01:31:03,850 --> 01:31:05,767 Oh, my God. Are you kidding me? 1617 01:31:05,892 --> 01:31:08,017 Will you just come back inside, please? 1618 01:31:08,142 --> 01:31:10,059 They think you're their son, these people. 1619 01:31:11,100 --> 01:31:12,100 They're not "these people." 1620 01:31:12,225 --> 01:31:13,559 They don't really know you. 1621 01:31:13,684 --> 01:31:15,601 Well, they like me. They like me. 1622 01:31:15,726 --> 01:31:17,226 I know that that's very hard for you to believe, 1623 01:31:17,351 --> 01:31:18,726 that they don't think I'm... 1624 01:31:18,851 --> 01:31:20,185 {\an1}you know, that there's something wrong with me, 1625 01:31:20,310 --> 01:31:21,643 {\an1}that I need to be, like, fixed, like you do. 1626 01:31:21,768 --> 01:31:23,560 - When have I ever said that? - Oh, my God. 1627 01:31:23,685 --> 01:31:24,893 {\an1}Mom, I-I have to go to therapy, right? 1628 01:31:25,018 --> 01:31:26,268 I have to take drugs. I have to... 1629 01:31:26,393 --> 01:31:27,935 There's-there's nothing wrong with that. 1630 01:31:28,060 --> 01:31:29,226 There-There's nothing wrong with needing help, honey. 1631 01:31:29,351 --> 01:31:30,310 Just stop. I know that there is, 1632 01:31:30,435 --> 01:31:31,894 and I know that I'm a burden, 1633 01:31:32,019 --> 01:31:33,394 that I'm the worst thing that ever happened to you, 1634 01:31:33,519 --> 01:31:34,436 {\an1}and I just... well, I just ruined your life, okay?! 1635 01:31:34,561 --> 01:31:37,477 No. You are the best thing. 1636 01:31:37,602 --> 01:31:39,811 You're the best thing that's ever happened to me. 1637 01:31:41,311 --> 01:31:43,269 I'm sorry I can't give you anything more than that. 1638 01:31:44,727 --> 01:31:46,853 It's not my fault if other people can. 1639 01:31:54,187 --> 01:31:55,103 I'll see you at home. 1640 01:32:06,646 --> 01:32:08,188 Hi. 1641 01:32:08,313 --> 01:32:10,021 I'm so sorry. I meant to be there yesterday. 1642 01:32:10,146 --> 01:32:13,313 Okay, well, we have two days left, and we're $25,000 short. 1643 01:32:13,438 --> 01:32:15,313 Yeah, I just... Everything... 1644 01:32:15,438 --> 01:32:16,938 You're right. I know. I'm sorry. 1645 01:32:17,063 --> 01:32:18,646 Things have been really busy, so... 1646 01:32:20,980 --> 01:32:22,439 I've been wondering something. 1647 01:32:22,564 --> 01:32:24,314 Mm-hmm? 1648 01:32:25,314 --> 01:32:27,064 Were you ever actually friends with him? 1649 01:32:28,855 --> 01:32:30,397 What are you talking about? 1650 01:32:30,522 --> 01:32:33,022 Well, the thing about the emails, it's just that, 1651 01:32:33,147 --> 01:32:34,981 {\an1}like, you and Connor keep talking about 1652 01:32:35,106 --> 01:32:36,690 climbing this tree together in June. 1653 01:32:36,815 --> 01:32:37,773 Mm-hmm? 1654 01:32:37,898 --> 01:32:40,106 We were in school in June. 1655 01:32:41,106 --> 01:32:43,273 You didn't have a cast until September. 1656 01:32:43,398 --> 01:32:45,065 Well, uh, you know what? 1657 01:32:45,190 --> 01:32:46,940 We probably just wrote down the wrong date or something. 1658 01:32:47,065 --> 01:32:50,481 It's not just the emails, Evan. 1659 01:32:50,606 --> 01:32:52,941 {\an1}You've missed, like, three meetings in a row. 1660 01:32:53,066 --> 01:32:54,857 If I were his best friend, 1661 01:32:54,982 --> 01:32:56,649 I would be doing everything I could to make sure 1662 01:32:56,774 --> 01:32:58,274 {\an1}his dream of rebuilding the orchard came true. 1663 01:32:58,399 --> 01:33:00,024 Okay. 1664 01:33:00,149 --> 01:33:01,774 {\an1}Look, it's terrible that people aren't giving 1665 01:33:01,899 --> 01:33:03,524 as much money as we hoped they would. 1666 01:33:03,649 --> 01:33:05,941 It is, but-but it's not like it's him. 1667 01:33:06,066 --> 01:33:07,317 You know what I mean? 1668 01:33:07,442 --> 01:33:09,358 It's-it's just... it's an orchard, Alana. 1669 01:33:13,400 --> 01:33:16,400 We have people watching us, 1670 01:33:16,525 --> 01:33:18,733 hoping... 1671 01:33:18,858 --> 01:33:21,858 {\an1}praying that we can prove Connor wrong. 1672 01:33:21,983 --> 01:33:25,151 {\an1}And if the orchard is just an empty promise, 1673 01:33:25,276 --> 01:33:28,318 all of those people will know that Connor was right. 1674 01:33:29,984 --> 01:33:31,443 That no one cares. 1675 01:33:34,484 --> 01:33:36,484 Did you lie to me? 1676 01:33:40,777 --> 01:33:42,860 Did I lie to all these people? 1677 01:33:49,527 --> 01:33:51,360 Just go to your email. 1678 01:33:51,485 --> 01:33:52,735 Another email? 1679 01:33:52,860 --> 01:33:54,820 It's not... 1680 01:33:54,945 --> 01:33:56,986 it's not another email. 1681 01:34:04,903 --> 01:34:07,028 "Dear Evan Hansen..." 1682 01:34:08,986 --> 01:34:11,029 {\an1}If we weren't friends, then he wouldn't... 1683 01:34:13,029 --> 01:34:15,487 ...he wouldn't have written his note to me. 1684 01:34:18,529 --> 01:34:21,279 {\an1}Look, only his family have seen this, okay? 1685 01:34:21,404 --> 01:34:25,029 You can't, you can't show it to anybody else, okay? 1686 01:34:25,154 --> 01:34:26,988 Alana. 1687 01:34:27,113 --> 01:34:28,447 Okay. 1688 01:34:38,113 --> 01:34:39,780 He wasn't right. 1689 01:34:41,155 --> 01:34:42,906 You know that, don't you? 1690 01:35:03,032 --> 01:35:05,574 ♪ The parts we can't tell, we carry them well ♪ 1691 01:35:05,699 --> 01:35:08,282 {\an1}♪ But that doesn't mean they're not heavy ♪ 1692 01:35:08,407 --> 01:35:11,115 ♪ The parts we can't tell, we carry them well ♪ 1693 01:35:11,240 --> 01:35:13,574 {\an1}♪ But that doesn't mean they're not heavy ♪ 1694 01:35:13,699 --> 01:35:16,408 ♪ The anonymous one ♪ 1695 01:35:16,533 --> 01:35:18,783 ♪ Noticed by none ♪ 1696 01:35:18,908 --> 01:35:21,325 ♪ The parts we can't tell, we carry them well ♪ 1697 01:35:21,450 --> 01:35:24,616 {\an1}♪ But that doesn't mean they're not heavy ♪ 1698 01:35:28,158 --> 01:35:30,867 ♪ The parts we can't tell ♪ 1699 01:35:30,992 --> 01:35:33,409 ♪ We carry them well ♪ 1700 01:35:33,534 --> 01:35:37,992 {\an1}♪ But that doesn't mean they're not heavy ♪ 1701 01:35:38,117 --> 01:35:40,409 ♪ The parts we can't tell ♪ 1702 01:35:40,534 --> 01:35:42,617 ♪ We carry them well ♪ 1703 01:35:42,742 --> 01:35:49,327 {\an1}♪ But that doesn't mean they're not heavy ♪ 1704 01:36:00,035 --> 01:36:02,994 ♪ The anonymous ones ♪ 1705 01:36:03,119 --> 01:36:07,119 ♪ Who might just need this moment to remind them ♪ 1706 01:36:09,119 --> 01:36:12,786 ♪ That there are more anonymous ones ♪ 1707 01:36:12,911 --> 01:36:17,244 ♪ They're out there if you take the time to find them ♪ 1708 01:36:25,037 --> 01:36:30,537 ♪ Just to know we're somehow not alone ♪ 1709 01:36:30,662 --> 01:36:37,121 ♪ Isn't that all we're ever really looking for? ♪ 1710 01:36:59,789 --> 01:37:02,539 ♪ Maybe we ♪ 1711 01:37:02,664 --> 01:37:05,206 ♪ We don't have to be ♪ 1712 01:37:08,915 --> 01:37:11,082 ♪ Anonymous anymore. ♪ 1713 01:37:47,000 --> 01:37:48,542 Can you imagine? 1714 01:38:06,460 --> 01:38:08,251 Wh-What's wrong? 1715 01:38:13,919 --> 01:38:15,794 Yep. 1716 01:38:49,296 --> 01:38:50,588 Hi. 1717 01:38:50,713 --> 01:38:52,379 {\an1}Alana, you have to take it down, okay? 1718 01:38:52,504 --> 01:38:54,046 They've been through enough. 1719 01:38:54,171 --> 01:38:55,838 I took it down already, Evan, but it-it doesn't matter 1720 01:38:55,963 --> 01:38:57,213 because it's everywhere. 1721 01:39:05,380 --> 01:39:06,422 Zoe, it's me. 1722 01:39:06,547 --> 01:39:07,672 Please call me back, okay? 1723 01:39:07,797 --> 01:39:09,422 I'm worried about you. 1724 01:39:09,547 --> 01:39:11,172 They have pictures of us now. 1725 01:39:11,297 --> 01:39:12,589 Just put it away. 1726 01:39:12,714 --> 01:39:14,590 "His parents act like they are bereft, 1727 01:39:14,715 --> 01:39:17,298 but where were they when their son was actually alive?" 1728 01:39:17,423 --> 01:39:19,465 Please stop reading them. 1729 01:39:21,923 --> 01:39:24,131 - Hey. Is Zoe here? - She went home. 1730 01:39:40,382 --> 01:39:41,549 Things really aren't good here. 1731 01:39:41,674 --> 01:39:44,007 I know. I just... I had to come. 1732 01:39:45,174 --> 01:39:47,008 Where did they even... How did they get Connor's note? 1733 01:39:47,133 --> 01:39:48,508 I don't know. 1734 01:39:48,633 --> 01:39:50,258 Like, did they hack our computers? 1735 01:39:50,383 --> 01:39:51,967 They hacked our emails? Did... These people are adults. 1736 01:39:52,092 --> 01:39:53,550 Did you see their pictures? 1737 01:39:53,675 --> 01:39:54,800 {\an1}- These people are adults. 1738 01:39:54,925 --> 01:39:56,425 Look, maybe let it ring. 1739 01:39:56,550 --> 01:39:58,717 I'm sick of hiding. Hello? 1740 01:39:58,842 --> 01:40:00,258 {\an1}Yeah, have-have fun with your miserable life. 1741 01:40:00,383 --> 01:40:02,050 {\an1}What did they say? What's the number? 1742 01:40:02,175 --> 01:40:03,384 It's blocked. 1743 01:40:03,509 --> 01:40:04,926 It doesn't... No, it doesn't matter. 1744 01:40:05,051 --> 01:40:06,676 {\an1}That's it. I'm calling the police. 1745 01:40:06,801 --> 01:40:07,718 No, look, right now, maybe the best thing to do 1746 01:40:07,843 --> 01:40:09,593 is to just stay calm, all right? 1747 01:40:09,718 --> 01:40:11,384 - And sit... - That's always your solution, isn't it? 1748 01:40:11,509 --> 01:40:12,801 Wait and see. Let's just wait and see, right, Larry? 1749 01:40:12,926 --> 01:40:13,968 What are the police going to do? 1750 01:40:14,093 --> 01:40:15,301 It's the Internet. Wh... 1751 01:40:15,426 --> 01:40:16,926 Are they gonna arrest the Internet? 1752 01:40:17,051 --> 01:40:18,051 I had to beg you, every step of the way, 1753 01:40:18,176 --> 01:40:19,177 for-for therapy, for-for rehab. 1754 01:40:19,302 --> 01:40:20,927 What? N-No, no. 1755 01:40:21,052 --> 01:40:22,719 You went lurching from one miracle cure to the next... 1756 01:40:22,844 --> 01:40:24,427 Oh, you're... Really? 1757 01:40:24,552 --> 01:40:26,385 ...because all he needed was another $20,000 1758 01:40:26,510 --> 01:40:27,469 weekend yoga retreat. 1759 01:40:27,594 --> 01:40:28,969 What was your alternative, 1760 01:40:29,094 --> 01:40:30,427 {\an1}other than picking apart everything that I did? 1761 01:40:30,552 --> 01:40:32,469 How about putting him on 1762 01:40:32,594 --> 01:40:34,219 one program and sticking to it? 1763 01:40:34,345 --> 01:40:36,136 Remember what he said 1764 01:40:36,261 --> 01:40:38,220 the first time that Connor tried to kill himself? 1765 01:40:38,345 --> 01:40:39,803 - That he's just looking for attention. - For Christ's sake. 1766 01:40:39,928 --> 01:40:41,428 He just wants attention! 1767 01:40:41,553 --> 01:40:43,136 I'm not gonna sit here and defend myself! 1768 01:40:43,261 --> 01:40:44,595 You couldn't understand him. 1769 01:40:44,720 --> 01:40:47,678 {\an1}You never understood him because he wasn't yours! 1770 01:40:47,803 --> 01:40:49,845 Mom, what the hell? 1771 01:40:49,970 --> 01:40:51,679 I raised him from the time he was three years old. 1772 01:40:51,804 --> 01:40:53,304 He was getting better, and you refused to see it. Ask Evan. 1773 01:40:53,429 --> 01:40:55,262 Tell them, Evan. 1774 01:40:55,387 --> 01:40:57,054 Evan did everything that he could. 1775 01:40:57,179 --> 01:40:59,971 {\an1}Evan? Evan was in denial of what was happening. 1776 01:41:00,096 --> 01:41:01,762 Do not bring him into this. 1777 01:41:01,887 --> 01:41:02,971 Read the note, Larry. 1778 01:41:03,096 --> 01:41:04,596 Read what he said. 1779 01:41:04,721 --> 01:41:06,638 "I just wish that everything was different." 1780 01:41:06,763 --> 01:41:08,555 {\an1}I tried. 1781 01:41:08,680 --> 01:41:10,097 - But he was my son! - He wanted to be better! - Please. 1782 01:41:10,222 --> 01:41:11,347 I-I tried everything! 1783 01:41:11,472 --> 01:41:13,013 Stop it! Just please stop! 1784 01:41:13,138 --> 01:41:15,430 - Please stop fighting! - He was trying to be better! 1785 01:41:15,555 --> 01:41:16,430 He was trying! 1786 01:41:16,555 --> 01:41:18,013 And he was failing. 1787 01:41:18,138 --> 01:41:20,263 We failed him. 1788 01:41:21,305 --> 01:41:22,723 No, you didn't. No, you didn't. 1789 01:41:22,848 --> 01:41:23,973 You didn't fail him. 1790 01:41:26,181 --> 01:41:27,431 Read the note. 1791 01:41:29,306 --> 01:41:30,973 He didn't write it. 1792 01:41:36,764 --> 01:41:38,056 I wrote it. 1793 01:41:38,181 --> 01:41:41,557 You didn't write Connor's suicide note. 1794 01:41:42,515 --> 01:41:46,265 {\an1}Um, it was an assignment from my therapist. 1795 01:41:46,390 --> 01:41:48,307 Write a letter to yourself, um, a pep talk. 1796 01:41:48,432 --> 01:41:50,349 "Evan Hansen, Dear Evan Hansen, today's gonna be a good day. 1797 01:41:50,474 --> 01:41:52,057 {\an1}- Here's why." - I-I don't, I don't think that... 1798 01:41:52,182 --> 01:41:53,849 I was supposed to bring it to my appointment with me, 1799 01:41:53,974 --> 01:41:56,058 but Connor took it, and then I guess he must have had it 1800 01:41:56,183 --> 01:41:58,058 with him, um... 1801 01:42:00,225 --> 01:42:02,600 ...when you found him, so... 1802 01:42:07,391 --> 01:42:08,850 What are you saying? 1803 01:42:10,601 --> 01:42:12,142 We weren't friends. 1804 01:42:12,267 --> 01:42:13,642 No. 1805 01:42:13,767 --> 01:42:15,142 No, no, no, no. 1806 01:42:15,267 --> 01:42:17,601 ♪ I never meant to make it such a mess ♪ 1807 01:42:19,642 --> 01:42:22,392 ♪ I never thought that it would go this far ♪ 1808 01:42:22,517 --> 01:42:24,892 {\an1}There were emails. You showed us emails. 1809 01:42:25,017 --> 01:42:29,185 ♪ So I just stand here sorry ♪ 1810 01:42:29,310 --> 01:42:31,810 ♪ Searching for something to say ♪ 1811 01:42:31,935 --> 01:42:33,018 Mm. 1812 01:42:33,143 --> 01:42:34,518 ♪ Something to say ♪ 1813 01:42:34,643 --> 01:42:36,935 Y-Y-You knew about the orchard. 1814 01:42:37,060 --> 01:42:39,185 He-he took you to the orchard. 1815 01:42:39,310 --> 01:42:40,977 That's where you broke your arm. 1816 01:42:41,102 --> 01:42:44,644 I broke my arm in Ellison Park, um, by myself. 1817 01:42:44,769 --> 01:42:47,144 But that day at the orchard... 1818 01:42:48,894 --> 01:42:50,811 You and Connor at the orchard. 1819 01:42:55,103 --> 01:42:57,144 ♪ Words fail ♪ 1820 01:42:58,229 --> 01:43:00,270 ♪ Words fail ♪ 1821 01:43:01,729 --> 01:43:04,395 ♪ There's nothing I can say ♪ 1822 01:43:04,520 --> 01:43:05,979 Oh, God. 1823 01:43:07,937 --> 01:43:10,354 But you said that you guys would talk about me. 1824 01:43:10,479 --> 01:43:12,354 He would... 1825 01:43:12,479 --> 01:43:13,937 How could you do this? 1826 01:43:14,062 --> 01:43:16,605 {\an1}♪ I guess I thought I could be part of this ♪ 1827 01:43:18,021 --> 01:43:20,938 ♪ I never had this kind of thing before ♪ 1828 01:43:22,355 --> 01:43:25,438 ♪ I never had that perfect girl ♪ 1829 01:43:25,563 --> 01:43:30,689 {\an1}♪ Who somehow could see the good part of me ♪ 1830 01:43:32,189 --> 01:43:34,647 {\an1}♪ I never had the dad who stuck it out ♪ 1831 01:43:36,147 --> 01:43:39,939 ♪ No corny jokes or baseball gloves ♪ 1832 01:43:40,064 --> 01:43:42,439 ♪ No mom who just was there ♪ 1833 01:43:42,564 --> 01:43:47,940 {\an1}♪ 'Cause mom was all that she had to be ♪ 1834 01:43:48,065 --> 01:43:51,940 ♪ That's not a worthy explanation ♪ 1835 01:43:52,065 --> 01:43:54,898 ♪ I know there is none ♪ 1836 01:43:56,940 --> 01:44:02,441 ♪ Nothing can make sense of all these things I've done ♪ 1837 01:44:04,399 --> 01:44:09,108 ♪ Words fail, words fail ♪ 1838 01:44:09,233 --> 01:44:12,691 ♪ There's nothing I can say ♪ 1839 01:44:12,816 --> 01:44:16,274 ♪ Except sometimes you see everything you wanted ♪ 1840 01:44:16,399 --> 01:44:18,484 ♪ And sometimes ♪ 1841 01:44:18,609 --> 01:44:20,942 ♪ You see everything you wish you had ♪ 1842 01:44:21,067 --> 01:44:26,025 ♪ And it's right there, right there, right there ♪ 1843 01:44:26,150 --> 01:44:28,359 ♪ In front of you ♪ 1844 01:44:33,234 --> 01:44:36,360 ♪ And you want to believe it's true ♪ 1845 01:44:42,401 --> 01:44:45,360 ♪ So you make it true ♪ 1846 01:44:49,068 --> 01:44:52,736 ♪ And you think maybe ♪ 1847 01:44:52,861 --> 01:44:58,319 ♪ Everybody wants it ♪ 1848 01:45:00,986 --> 01:45:02,652 ♪ And needs it ♪ 1849 01:45:04,569 --> 01:45:08,070 ♪ A little bit, too. ♪ 1850 01:45:24,654 --> 01:45:25,904 {\an1}Zoe. 1851 01:45:35,154 --> 01:45:37,988 I think it's time for you to go. 1852 01:46:10,157 --> 01:46:11,324 Go away, Evan. 1853 01:46:11,449 --> 01:46:12,866 It isn't fair, okay? 1854 01:46:12,991 --> 01:46:14,282 You can't, you can't let people 1855 01:46:14,407 --> 01:46:16,449 just blame you and your parents. 1856 01:46:16,574 --> 01:46:17,782 {\an1}They need to know it was me, okay? 1857 01:46:17,907 --> 01:46:19,116 I'm the one people should hate. 1858 01:46:19,241 --> 01:46:21,699 Yeah, well, we're not telling anyone. 1859 01:46:21,824 --> 01:46:23,282 Well, that's... I... 1860 01:46:23,407 --> 01:46:26,283 You can't... You have to. 1861 01:46:26,408 --> 01:46:28,450 It's not my decision. 1862 01:46:28,575 --> 01:46:30,158 It's my mom's. 1863 01:46:30,283 --> 01:46:31,742 She doesn't want to ruin your life. 1864 01:46:31,867 --> 01:46:34,242 She's afraid you'll do something stupid. 1865 01:46:34,367 --> 01:46:36,325 Like hurt yourself. 1866 01:46:40,408 --> 01:46:42,993 She said they already lost one son. 1867 01:46:47,409 --> 01:46:49,868 {\an1}Can you just... 1868 01:46:49,993 --> 01:46:52,368 leave my family alone, okay? 1869 01:47:19,953 --> 01:47:24,120 {\an1}♪ This was just a sad invention ♪ 1870 01:47:25,495 --> 01:47:28,245 ♪ It wasn't real, I know ♪ 1871 01:47:30,037 --> 01:47:31,912 ♪ But we were happy ♪ 1872 01:47:33,621 --> 01:47:37,037 ♪ I guess I couldn't let that go ♪ 1873 01:47:39,079 --> 01:47:41,829 ♪ I guess I couldn't give that up ♪ 1874 01:47:43,412 --> 01:47:46,080 ♪ I guess I wanted to believe ♪ 1875 01:47:46,205 --> 01:47:48,747 ♪ 'Cause if I just believe ♪ 1876 01:47:48,872 --> 01:47:51,622 ♪ Then I don't have to see ♪ 1877 01:47:51,747 --> 01:47:53,997 ♪ What's really there ♪ 1878 01:47:55,872 --> 01:47:57,747 ♪ No, I'd rather pretend ♪ 1879 01:47:57,872 --> 01:48:00,913 {\an1}♪ I'm something better than these broken parts ♪ 1880 01:48:01,038 --> 01:48:03,831 ♪ Pretend I'm something other than ♪ 1881 01:48:03,956 --> 01:48:05,873 ♪ This mess that I am ♪ 1882 01:48:05,998 --> 01:48:08,789 {\an1}♪ 'Cause then I don't have to look at it ♪ 1883 01:48:08,914 --> 01:48:11,164 {\an1}♪ And no one gets to look at it ♪ 1884 01:48:11,289 --> 01:48:16,123 ♪ No, no one can really see ♪ 1885 01:48:16,248 --> 01:48:20,332 {\an1}♪ 'Cause I've learned to slam on the brake ♪ 1886 01:48:20,457 --> 01:48:24,915 ♪ Before I even turn the key ♪ 1887 01:48:25,040 --> 01:48:29,290 ♪ Before I make the mistake ♪ 1888 01:48:29,415 --> 01:48:33,165 ♪ Before I lead with the worst of me ♪ 1889 01:48:33,290 --> 01:48:35,375 ♪ I never let them see ♪ 1890 01:48:35,500 --> 01:48:44,000 ♪ The worst of me ♪ 1891 01:48:53,667 --> 01:48:55,334 ♪ 'Cause what if everyone saw? ♪ 1892 01:48:59,584 --> 01:49:02,084 ♪ What if everyone knew? ♪ 1893 01:49:04,209 --> 01:49:06,585 {\an1}♪ Would they like what they saw? ♪ 1894 01:49:08,752 --> 01:49:11,752 ♪ Or would they hate it, too? ♪ 1895 01:49:22,961 --> 01:49:27,253 ♪ Will I just keep on running away ♪ 1896 01:49:27,378 --> 01:49:31,419 ♪ From what's true? ♪ 1897 01:49:34,461 --> 01:49:39,962 ♪ All I ever do is run ♪ 1898 01:49:43,295 --> 01:49:47,754 ♪ So how do I step in ♪ 1899 01:49:52,420 --> 01:50:00,505 ♪ Step into the sun? ♪ 1900 01:50:02,130 --> 01:50:08,713 ♪ Step into the sun. ♪ 1901 01:50:43,341 --> 01:50:44,591 Evan? 1902 01:50:45,549 --> 01:50:47,174 Evan? 1903 01:50:55,841 --> 01:50:57,091 Evan? 1904 01:51:13,801 --> 01:51:15,260 Oh, honey. 1905 01:51:21,093 --> 01:51:22,968 "Dear Evan Hansen..." 1906 01:51:25,093 --> 01:51:27,343 You wrote this? Connor's note? 1907 01:51:31,011 --> 01:51:32,469 I didn't know. 1908 01:51:32,594 --> 01:51:34,177 No one did. 1909 01:51:34,302 --> 01:51:36,177 No, honey, that's... 1910 01:51:37,594 --> 01:51:39,636 ...that's not what I meant. 1911 01:51:41,511 --> 01:51:43,552 I didn't know that you were... 1912 01:51:44,719 --> 01:51:46,928 ...that you were hurting like that. 1913 01:51:47,053 --> 01:51:49,303 That you felt... 1914 01:51:49,428 --> 01:51:51,095 I didn't know. 1915 01:51:53,595 --> 01:51:55,262 I lied. 1916 01:51:59,220 --> 01:52:01,512 I lied about so many things. 1917 01:52:04,179 --> 01:52:06,221 Not just Connor. Um... 1918 01:52:11,013 --> 01:52:13,263 So, last summer, um... 1919 01:52:16,054 --> 01:52:17,513 ...I just... 1920 01:52:20,055 --> 01:52:22,639 ...I just felt so alone. Um... 1921 01:52:25,722 --> 01:52:27,180 You can tell me. 1922 01:52:30,347 --> 01:52:32,014 The tree. 1923 01:52:35,056 --> 01:52:37,056 I didn't fall. 1924 01:52:40,140 --> 01:52:41,390 I let go. 1925 01:52:45,598 --> 01:52:47,848 - Oh, Evan. - Do you hate me now? 1926 01:52:50,224 --> 01:52:53,724 You should. You should. 1927 01:52:53,849 --> 01:52:58,224 If you knew who I am, just how just broken I am. 1928 01:52:59,224 --> 01:53:01,099 I already know you. 1929 01:53:02,599 --> 01:53:03,849 And I love you. 1930 01:53:09,892 --> 01:53:11,975 I can promise you that... 1931 01:53:14,392 --> 01:53:15,850 ...someday... 1932 01:53:17,017 --> 01:53:20,392 ...all of this is gonna feel like a very long time ago. 1933 01:53:24,518 --> 01:53:26,393 Ah. 1934 01:53:27,851 --> 01:53:29,893 Your dad, um... 1935 01:53:32,893 --> 01:53:35,226 Do you remember when he drove by to get his things? 1936 01:53:40,810 --> 01:53:43,477 {\an1}It was a few weeks after he moved out. 1937 01:53:45,185 --> 01:53:47,227 Temporarily, we said. 1938 01:53:48,602 --> 01:53:51,144 ♪ It was a February day ♪ 1939 01:53:52,852 --> 01:53:57,853 {\an1}♪ When your dad came by before going away ♪ 1940 01:53:59,228 --> 01:54:02,561 {\an1}♪ A U-Haul truck in the driveway ♪ 1941 01:54:04,228 --> 01:54:09,103 ♪ The day it was suddenly real ♪ 1942 01:54:10,562 --> 01:54:13,479 ♪ I told you not to come outside ♪ 1943 01:54:14,604 --> 01:54:20,146 {\an1}♪ But you saw that truck, and you smiled so wide ♪ 1944 01:54:21,854 --> 01:54:26,313 {\an1}♪ A real live truck in your driveway ♪ 1945 01:54:27,313 --> 01:54:31,355 ♪ We let you sit behind the wheel ♪ 1946 01:54:34,063 --> 01:54:38,772 ♪ Goodbye, goodbye ♪ 1947 01:54:39,772 --> 01:54:43,398 ♪ Now it's just me ♪ 1948 01:54:43,523 --> 01:54:46,481 ♪ And my little guy ♪ 1949 01:54:48,814 --> 01:54:53,273 ♪ And the house felt so big ♪ 1950 01:54:55,273 --> 01:55:00,190 ♪ And I felt so small ♪ 1951 01:55:01,482 --> 01:55:05,982 ♪ The house felt so big ♪ 1952 01:55:07,482 --> 01:55:12,065 ♪ And I felt so small ♪ 1953 01:55:14,150 --> 01:55:16,983 ♪ That night, I tucked you into bed ♪ 1954 01:55:18,358 --> 01:55:23,816 {\an1}♪ I will never forget how you sat up and said ♪ 1955 01:55:23,941 --> 01:55:28,025 {\an1}♪ "Is there another truck coming to our driveway? ♪ 1956 01:55:29,316 --> 01:55:34,859 {\an1}♪ A truck that will take Mommy away?" ♪ 1957 01:55:36,692 --> 01:55:41,942 ♪ And the house felt so big ♪ 1958 01:55:42,942 --> 01:55:48,443 ♪ And I felt so small ♪ 1959 01:55:49,485 --> 01:55:54,485 ♪ The house felt so big ♪ 1960 01:55:54,610 --> 01:55:57,568 ♪ And I ♪ 1961 01:55:57,693 --> 01:56:01,443 ♪ And I knew there would be ♪ 1962 01:56:01,569 --> 01:56:04,403 ♪ Moments that I'd miss ♪ 1963 01:56:04,528 --> 01:56:07,736 ♪ And I knew there would be ♪ 1964 01:56:07,861 --> 01:56:10,278 ♪ Space I couldn't fill ♪ 1965 01:56:10,403 --> 01:56:13,778 ♪ And I knew I'd come up short ♪ 1966 01:56:13,903 --> 01:56:18,279 ♪ A million different ways ♪ 1967 01:56:18,404 --> 01:56:20,904 ♪ And I did ♪ 1968 01:56:22,779 --> 01:56:26,529 ♪ And I do ♪ 1969 01:56:28,070 --> 01:56:30,570 ♪ And I will ♪ 1970 01:56:32,779 --> 01:56:35,446 ♪ But like that February day ♪ 1971 01:56:37,071 --> 01:56:39,155 ♪ I will take your hand ♪ 1972 01:56:39,280 --> 01:56:42,821 ♪ Squeeze it tightly and say ♪ 1973 01:56:42,946 --> 01:56:46,446 ♪ "There's not another truck in the driveway ♪ 1974 01:56:47,946 --> 01:56:50,447 ♪ "Your mom isn't going anywhere ♪ 1975 01:56:50,572 --> 01:56:53,364 ♪ "Your mom is staying right here ♪ 1976 01:56:53,489 --> 01:56:56,114 ♪ "Your mom isn't going anywhere ♪ 1977 01:56:56,239 --> 01:56:59,489 ♪ Your mom is staying right here" ♪ 1978 01:57:00,447 --> 01:57:02,531 ♪ No matter what ♪ 1979 01:57:04,864 --> 01:57:09,282 ♪ I'll be here ♪ 1980 01:57:10,282 --> 01:57:15,323 ♪ When it all feels so big ♪ 1981 01:57:16,573 --> 01:57:21,533 ♪ Till it all feels so small ♪ 1982 01:57:22,533 --> 01:57:27,158 ♪ When it all feels so big ♪ 1983 01:57:28,491 --> 01:57:31,574 ♪ Till it all feels ♪ 1984 01:57:31,699 --> 01:57:37,950 ♪ So small ♪ 1985 01:57:40,367 --> 01:57:46,909 ♪ Till it all feels so small. ♪ 1986 01:57:48,367 --> 01:57:49,450 Oh. 1987 01:57:55,368 --> 01:57:57,910 It's gonna get better, I promise. 1988 01:58:12,494 --> 01:58:14,744 {\an1}I was never friends with Connor Murphy. 1989 01:58:16,202 --> 01:58:18,494 I lied, 1990 01:58:18,619 --> 01:58:20,244 repeatedly, 1991 01:58:20,369 --> 01:58:23,161 to his family, 1992 01:58:23,286 --> 01:58:25,745 to Alana, 1993 01:58:25,870 --> 01:58:27,745 to all of you. 1994 01:58:29,370 --> 01:58:30,912 I'm not asking for your forgiveness. 1995 01:58:31,037 --> 01:58:32,037 I don't deserve it. 1996 01:58:32,162 --> 01:58:34,703 But, um, please... 1997 01:58:36,328 --> 01:58:38,787 Connor's family doesn't deserve your hatred. 1998 01:58:40,453 --> 01:58:41,913 I do. 1999 01:58:44,246 --> 01:58:45,704 I'm sorry. 2000 01:59:58,375 --> 02:00:00,958 ♪ Spent so many seasons ♪ 2001 02:00:01,083 --> 02:00:04,293 ♪ Lost inside my mind ♪ 2002 02:00:04,418 --> 02:00:08,751 {\an8}♪ Lost inside my mind ♪ 2003 02:00:10,418 --> 02:00:12,668 {\an8}♪ Like a message in a bottle ♪ 2004 02:00:12,793 --> 02:00:15,626 ♪ I thought nobody would find ♪ 2005 02:00:15,751 --> 02:00:19,960 ♪ That nobody would find ♪ 2006 02:00:21,710 --> 02:00:24,877 {\an1}♪ I've been drifting, I've been dreaming ♪ 2007 02:00:25,002 --> 02:00:27,794 ♪ I would land upon the shore ♪ 2008 02:00:27,919 --> 02:00:31,210 ♪ To a haven, to a harbor ♪ 2009 02:00:31,335 --> 02:00:35,753 ♪ That felt so far before ♪ 2010 02:00:37,128 --> 02:00:39,961 ♪ Well, today ♪ 2011 02:00:40,086 --> 02:00:43,003 ♪ Today ♪ 2012 02:00:43,128 --> 02:00:45,545 ♪ What felt so far away ♪ 2013 02:00:45,670 --> 02:00:49,045 ♪ Feels a little closer ♪ 2014 02:00:49,170 --> 02:00:55,337 ♪ For today, today ♪ 2015 02:00:55,462 --> 02:00:57,629 ♪ Today ♪ 2016 02:00:59,754 --> 02:01:04,504 ♪ It feels a little closer ♪ 2017 02:01:07,672 --> 02:01:09,922 ♪ How long these days of darkness ♪ 2018 02:01:10,047 --> 02:01:13,338 ♪ At the bottom of a well ♪ 2019 02:01:13,463 --> 02:01:17,838 ♪ That old, familiar well ♪ 2020 02:01:19,713 --> 02:01:23,173 ♪ Sitting heavy with these secrets ♪ 2021 02:01:23,298 --> 02:01:25,631 ♪ With nobody to tell ♪ 2022 02:01:25,756 --> 02:01:29,589 ♪ Nobody to tell ♪ 2023 02:01:30,589 --> 02:01:32,631 - Okay, your turn. Come on. - ♪ High above ♪ 2024 02:01:32,756 --> 02:01:34,298 ♪ A streak of sunlight ♪ 2025 02:01:34,423 --> 02:01:37,089 ♪ And a wall too tall to climb ♪ 2026 02:01:37,215 --> 02:01:40,965 ♪ All the reaching, all the wanting ♪ 2027 02:01:41,090 --> 02:01:44,465 ♪ Just to tumble every time ♪ 2028 02:01:44,590 --> 02:01:45,674 I think we got it. 2029 02:01:45,799 --> 02:01:47,382 All right. 2030 02:01:47,549 --> 02:01:50,465 ♪ But today ♪ 2031 02:01:50,590 --> 02:01:53,090 ♪ Today ♪ 2032 02:01:53,216 --> 02:01:55,466 ♪ What felt so far away ♪ 2033 02:01:55,591 --> 02:01:59,008 ♪ Feels a little closer ♪ 2034 02:01:59,133 --> 02:02:05,466 ♪ For today, today ♪ 2035 02:02:05,591 --> 02:02:07,925 ♪ Today ♪ 2036 02:02:10,759 --> 02:02:13,759 ♪ It feels a little closer ♪ 2037 02:02:23,092 --> 02:02:29,468 ♪ And the days carry on ♪ 2038 02:02:29,593 --> 02:02:31,427 ♪ The clouds come rolling in ♪ 2039 02:02:31,552 --> 02:02:34,927 ♪ And then they're gone ♪ 2040 02:02:35,052 --> 02:02:41,928 ♪ As the days keep coming on ♪ 2041 02:02:42,053 --> 02:02:46,303 ♪ The midnight sky turns to dawn ♪ 2042 02:02:56,469 --> 02:03:02,470 {\an1}♪ Today, today ♪ 2043 02:03:02,595 --> 02:03:05,054 ♪ What felt so far away ♪ 2044 02:03:05,179 --> 02:03:08,887 ♪ Feels a little closer ♪ 2045 02:03:09,012 --> 02:03:15,138 ♪ Today, today ♪ 2046 02:03:15,263 --> 02:03:17,513 ♪ What felt so far away ♪ 2047 02:03:17,638 --> 02:03:21,971 ♪ Feels a little closer ♪ 2048 02:03:22,096 --> 02:03:27,763 ♪ For today, today ♪ 2049 02:03:27,888 --> 02:03:30,764 ♪ Today ♪ 2050 02:03:33,389 --> 02:03:36,472 ♪ It feels a little closer ♪ 2051 02:03:36,597 --> 02:03:39,139 ♪ A little closer ♪ 2052 02:03:39,264 --> 02:03:42,722 ♪ It feels a little closer ♪ 2053 02:03:42,847 --> 02:03:45,973 ♪ A little closer ♪ 2054 02:03:48,682 --> 02:03:52,890 ♪ It feels a little closer. ♪ 2055 02:04:34,685 --> 02:04:37,518 You must start school pretty soon. 2056 02:04:37,643 --> 02:04:39,518 Two more weeks. 2057 02:04:41,518 --> 02:04:43,893 When do you leave for college? 2058 02:04:44,018 --> 02:04:48,518 {\an1}Um, actually I decided to take a year off, so... 2059 02:04:48,643 --> 02:04:50,352 Uh, just try to save some money. 2060 02:04:50,477 --> 02:04:52,061 Get a job. 2061 02:04:52,186 --> 02:04:55,727 Uh... take some time. 2062 02:04:55,852 --> 02:04:58,186 {\an1}So, I'm taking classes at the community college. 2063 02:04:58,311 --> 02:05:01,186 I'll have credits to transfer in the fall, so... 2064 02:05:02,269 --> 02:05:03,352 That's smart. 2065 02:05:03,477 --> 02:05:05,353 {\an1}Yeah. We'll see. 2066 02:05:09,103 --> 02:05:11,270 I always picture you and Connor here. 2067 02:05:12,645 --> 02:05:14,312 Even though... 2068 02:05:16,145 --> 02:05:18,020 This is my first time. 2069 02:05:19,520 --> 02:05:21,188 It's nice. 2070 02:05:22,521 --> 02:05:24,146 Peaceful. 2071 02:05:25,396 --> 02:05:28,354 My parents come here all the time. 2072 02:05:28,479 --> 02:05:31,688 We do picnics, like, every weekend. 2073 02:05:31,813 --> 02:05:34,688 Lots of gluten-free sandwiches. 2074 02:05:38,522 --> 02:05:40,564 It's helped them a lot, actually. 2075 02:05:41,980 --> 02:05:43,230 Having this. 2076 02:05:49,272 --> 02:05:50,939 What I did... 2077 02:05:52,814 --> 02:05:54,523 ...I can't even... 2078 02:05:58,690 --> 02:06:01,856 It's the worst thing anyone can do. 2079 02:06:09,191 --> 02:06:11,232 I wish we could have met now. 2080 02:06:12,982 --> 02:06:15,066 Today. 2081 02:06:15,191 --> 02:06:16,899 For the first time. 2082 02:06:17,857 --> 02:06:20,232 Me, too. 2083 02:06:24,607 --> 02:06:25,692 I should probably... 2084 02:06:25,817 --> 02:06:27,192 Yeah. Yeah, of course. 2085 02:06:27,317 --> 02:06:29,192 Of course. 2086 02:06:31,650 --> 02:06:33,317 Hey, can I just... 2087 02:06:34,358 --> 02:06:36,400 Can I just ask you... 2088 02:06:38,275 --> 02:06:39,942 Why did you want to meet here? 2089 02:06:46,234 --> 02:06:48,693 {\an1}I wanted to be sure that you saw this. 2090 02:06:53,193 --> 02:06:55,651 He really loved it here. 2091 02:07:11,610 --> 02:07:13,820 Dear Evan Hansen... 2092 02:07:15,195 --> 02:07:18,528 ...today is gonna be a good day, and here's why. 2093 02:07:19,778 --> 02:07:23,570 Because today, no matter what else, 2094 02:07:23,695 --> 02:07:26,153 today at least you're you. 2095 02:07:26,278 --> 02:07:27,736 No hiding, no lying. 2096 02:07:27,861 --> 02:07:29,821 And that's... 2097 02:07:29,946 --> 02:07:31,404 that's enough. 2098 02:07:31,529 --> 02:07:34,446 So no matter how hard it gets, 2099 02:07:34,571 --> 02:07:38,487 even if it feels... impossible, 2100 02:07:38,612 --> 02:07:40,487 this time you'll know. 2101 02:07:41,654 --> 02:07:43,862 Don't let go. 2102 02:07:43,987 --> 02:07:47,447 Just hold on and keep going. 2103 02:07:49,238 --> 02:07:50,738 Just keep going. 2104 02:07:55,405 --> 02:08:04,406 ♪ Today, today ♪ 2105 02:08:04,531 --> 02:08:05,989 ♪ Today ♪ 2106 02:08:09,906 --> 02:08:16,614 ♪ It feels a little closer. ♪ 2107 02:09:03,992 --> 02:09:08,202 {\an1}♪ Have you ever felt like nobody was there? ♪ 2108 02:09:10,077 --> 02:09:15,952 ♪ Have you ever felt forgotten in the middle of nowhere? ♪ 2109 02:09:16,077 --> 02:09:20,577 {\an1}♪ Have you ever felt like you could disappear? ♪ 2110 02:09:21,744 --> 02:09:24,411 ♪ Like you could fall ♪ 2111 02:09:24,536 --> 02:09:26,911 ♪ And no one would hear? ♪ 2112 02:09:28,286 --> 02:09:32,411 ♪ Well, let that lonely feeling wash away ♪ 2113 02:09:34,661 --> 02:09:40,204 ♪ Maybe there's a reason to believe you'll be okay ♪ 2114 02:09:40,329 --> 02:09:44,870 ♪ 'Cause when you don't feel strong enough to stand ♪ 2115 02:09:46,245 --> 02:09:48,412 ♪ You can reach ♪ 2116 02:09:48,537 --> 02:09:51,954 ♪ Reach out your hand ♪ 2117 02:09:52,079 --> 02:09:57,913 ♪ And, oh, someone will come running ♪ 2118 02:09:58,038 --> 02:10:05,163 ♪ And I know they'll take you home ♪ 2119 02:10:05,288 --> 02:10:08,163 {\an1}♪ Even when the dark comes crashing through ♪ 2120 02:10:08,288 --> 02:10:11,331 ♪ When you need a friend to carry you ♪ 2121 02:10:11,456 --> 02:10:14,789 ♪ And when you're broken on the ground ♪ 2122 02:10:14,914 --> 02:10:17,372 ♪ You will be found ♪ 2123 02:10:17,497 --> 02:10:20,081 ♪ So let the sun come streaming in ♪ 2124 02:10:20,206 --> 02:10:23,539 {\an1}♪ 'Cause you'll reach up and you'll rise again ♪ 2125 02:10:23,664 --> 02:10:26,748 {\an1}♪ Lift your head and look around ♪ 2126 02:10:26,873 --> 02:10:31,998 ♪ You will be found ♪ 2127 02:10:32,957 --> 02:10:37,832 ♪ You will be found ♪ 2128 02:10:40,165 --> 02:10:44,958 ♪ There's a place where we don't have to feel unknown ♪ 2129 02:10:46,708 --> 02:10:49,166 ♪ And every time you call out ♪ 2130 02:10:49,291 --> 02:10:52,666 ♪ You're a little less alone ♪ 2131 02:10:52,791 --> 02:10:57,334 ♪ Oh, if you only say the word ♪ 2132 02:10:57,459 --> 02:11:01,584 ♪ Oh, from across the silence ♪ 2133 02:11:01,709 --> 02:11:06,667 ♪ Your voice is heard ♪ 2134 02:11:06,792 --> 02:11:09,709 {\an1}♪ Even when the dark comes crashing through ♪ 2135 02:11:09,834 --> 02:11:12,918 ♪ When you need a friend to carry you ♪ 2136 02:11:13,043 --> 02:11:16,376 ♪ And when you're broken on the ground ♪ 2137 02:11:16,501 --> 02:11:18,918 ♪ You will be found ♪ 2138 02:11:19,043 --> 02:11:21,460 ♪ So let the sun come streaming in ♪ 2139 02:11:21,585 --> 02:11:25,085 {\an1}♪ 'Cause you'll reach up and you'll rise again ♪ 2140 02:11:25,210 --> 02:11:28,460 {\an1}♪ Lift your head and look around ♪ 2141 02:11:28,586 --> 02:11:31,502 ♪ You will be found ♪ 2142 02:11:31,627 --> 02:11:40,419 {\an1}♪ You will be found, you will be found ♪ 2143 02:11:40,544 --> 02:11:43,502 ♪ You will be found ♪ 2144 02:11:43,627 --> 02:11:51,087 {\an1}♪ You will be found, you will be found ♪ 2145 02:11:54,087 --> 02:11:56,670 ♪ Out of the shadows ♪ 2146 02:11:56,795 --> 02:11:59,337 ♪ The morning is breaking ♪ 2147 02:11:59,462 --> 02:12:05,921 {\an1}♪ And all is new and all is new ♪ 2148 02:12:06,046 --> 02:12:08,879 ♪ It's filling up the empty ♪ 2149 02:12:09,004 --> 02:12:11,254 ♪ And suddenly I see ♪ 2150 02:12:11,379 --> 02:12:14,588 ♪ That all is new ♪ 2151 02:12:14,713 --> 02:12:18,839 ♪ All is new ♪ 2152 02:12:18,964 --> 02:12:22,089 {\an1}♪ Even when the dark comes crashing through ♪ 2153 02:12:22,214 --> 02:12:25,297 ♪ When you need a friend to carry you ♪ 2154 02:12:25,422 --> 02:12:28,922 ♪ And when you're broken on the ground ♪ 2155 02:12:29,047 --> 02:12:31,589 ♪ You will be found ♪ 2156 02:12:31,714 --> 02:12:34,506 ♪ So let the sun come streaming in ♪ 2157 02:12:34,631 --> 02:12:38,090 {\an1}♪ 'Cause you'll reach up and you'll rise again ♪ 2158 02:12:38,215 --> 02:12:41,631 {\an1}♪ Lift your head and look around ♪ 2159 02:12:41,756 --> 02:12:46,840 ♪ You will be found. ♪ 2160 02:13:04,007 --> 02:13:06,008 ♪ Ever look at all the people ♪ 2161 02:13:06,133 --> 02:13:09,217 ♪ Seem to know exactly how to be? ♪ 2162 02:13:09,342 --> 02:13:12,758 ♪ How to be, how to be now, how to be ♪ 2163 02:13:12,883 --> 02:13:16,592 ♪ You think, they don't need piles of prescriptions ♪ 2164 02:13:16,717 --> 02:13:19,175 ♪ To function naturally ♪ 2165 02:13:19,300 --> 02:13:23,051 ♪ Functioning natural ♪ 2166 02:13:23,176 --> 02:13:26,384 ♪ Take a look and you might just catch it ♪ 2167 02:13:26,509 --> 02:13:28,551 ♪ Stay a minute more ♪ 2168 02:13:28,676 --> 02:13:31,801 ♪ Minute more, minute more now, minute more ♪ 2169 02:13:31,926 --> 02:13:35,884 {\an1}♪ There's a little moment after the sunny smile ♪ 2170 02:13:36,009 --> 02:13:38,094 ♪ Their eyes fall to the floor ♪ 2171 02:13:38,219 --> 02:13:41,219 ♪ To the floor, to the floor now, to the floor ♪ 2172 02:13:41,344 --> 02:13:44,677 ♪ The truth starts peeking through ♪ 2173 02:13:44,802 --> 02:13:46,010 ♪ Peeking through ♪ 2174 02:13:46,135 --> 02:13:50,677 {\an1}♪ They're a lot like me and you ♪ 2175 02:13:50,802 --> 02:13:55,761 ♪ They can fake a smile, too ♪ 2176 02:13:58,511 --> 02:14:00,970 ♪ The anonymous ones ♪ 2177 02:14:01,095 --> 02:14:04,386 {\an1}♪ Never let you see the ache they carry ♪ 2178 02:14:04,511 --> 02:14:07,678 ♪ They carry, they carry, they carry ♪ 2179 02:14:07,803 --> 02:14:10,762 ♪ All those anonymous ones ♪ 2180 02:14:10,887 --> 02:14:14,137 ♪ Never name the quiet pain they bury ♪ 2181 02:14:14,262 --> 02:14:18,096 ♪ They bury, they bury, they bury ♪ 2182 02:14:18,221 --> 02:14:22,221 ♪ Keep on keeping secrets that they think they have to hide ♪ 2183 02:14:22,346 --> 02:14:27,013 ♪ What if everybody's secret is they have that secret side? ♪ 2184 02:14:27,138 --> 02:14:31,222 ♪ And to know, to know we're not alone ♪ 2185 02:14:31,347 --> 02:14:33,847 ♪ Is all we're hoping for ♪ 2186 02:14:35,055 --> 02:14:37,263 ♪ I don't wanna be anonymous ♪ 2187 02:14:37,388 --> 02:14:39,763 ♪ Why you gotta be anonymous? ♪ 2188 02:14:39,888 --> 02:14:43,139 ♪ I don't wanna be anonymous anymore ♪ 2189 02:14:50,848 --> 02:14:54,264 ♪ Anymore ♪ 2190 02:15:01,474 --> 02:15:03,765 ♪ Spot the girl who stays in motion ♪ 2191 02:15:03,890 --> 02:15:07,224 ♪ Spins so fast so she won't fall ♪ 2192 02:15:07,349 --> 02:15:11,057 ♪ World spins so fast, spins so fast ♪ 2193 02:15:11,182 --> 02:15:13,350 {\an1}♪ She's built a wall of her achievements ♪ 2194 02:15:13,475 --> 02:15:15,141 ♪ Keep out the question ♪ 2195 02:15:15,266 --> 02:15:19,850 ♪ Without it, is she worth anything at all? ♪ 2196 02:15:19,975 --> 02:15:24,391 ♪ And truth starts peeking through ♪ 2197 02:15:24,516 --> 02:15:29,226 {\an1}♪ They're a lot like me and you ♪ 2198 02:15:29,351 --> 02:15:34,309 ♪ They can fake a smile, too ♪ 2199 02:15:37,184 --> 02:15:39,559 ♪ The anonymous ones ♪ 2200 02:15:39,684 --> 02:15:42,892 {\an1}♪ Never let you see the ache they carry ♪ 2201 02:15:43,017 --> 02:15:46,102 ♪ They carry, they carry, they carry ♪ 2202 02:15:46,227 --> 02:15:49,268 ♪ All those anonymous ones ♪ 2203 02:15:49,393 --> 02:15:52,477 ♪ Never name the quiet pain they bury ♪ 2204 02:15:52,602 --> 02:15:56,477 ♪ They bury, they bury, they bury ♪ 2205 02:15:56,602 --> 02:15:58,893 ♪ I don't wanna be anonymous ♪ 2206 02:15:59,018 --> 02:16:01,436 ♪ Why you gotta be anonymous? ♪ 2207 02:16:01,561 --> 02:16:03,519 ♪ I don't wanna be anonymous anymore ♪ 2208 02:16:03,644 --> 02:16:05,894 ♪ The parts we can't tell, we carry them well ♪ 2209 02:16:06,019 --> 02:16:08,269 {\an1}♪ But that doesn't mean they're not heavy ♪ 2210 02:16:08,394 --> 02:16:10,728 ♪ The parts we can't tell, we carry them well ♪ 2211 02:16:10,853 --> 02:16:13,061 {\an1}♪ But that doesn't mean they're not heavy ♪ 2212 02:16:13,186 --> 02:16:15,436 ♪ The parts we can't tell, we carry them well ♪ 2213 02:16:15,561 --> 02:16:20,229 {\an1}♪ But that doesn't mean they're not heavy ♪ 2214 02:16:20,354 --> 02:16:22,687 ♪ Heavy ♪ 2215 02:16:22,812 --> 02:16:25,270 ♪ The anonymous ones ♪ 2216 02:16:25,395 --> 02:16:28,645 {\an1}♪ Never let you see the ache they carry ♪ 2217 02:16:28,770 --> 02:16:31,854 ♪ They carry, they carry, they carry ♪ 2218 02:16:31,979 --> 02:16:34,938 ♪ All the anonymous ones ♪ 2219 02:16:35,063 --> 02:16:40,105 ♪ Never name the quiet pain they bury ♪ 2220 02:16:42,271 --> 02:16:46,521 ♪ Keep on keeping secrets that they think they have to hide ♪ 2221 02:16:46,646 --> 02:16:51,147 ♪ What if everybody's secret is they have that secret side? ♪ 2222 02:16:51,272 --> 02:16:55,147 ♪ And to know, to know we're not alone ♪ 2223 02:16:55,272 --> 02:16:58,939 ♪ Is all we're hoping for ♪ 2224 02:16:59,064 --> 02:17:01,314 ♪ I don't wanna be anonymous ♪ 2225 02:17:01,439 --> 02:17:03,856 ♪ Why you gotta be anonymous? ♪ 2226 02:17:03,981 --> 02:17:07,773 ♪ I don't wanna be anonymous anymore. ♪ 2227 02:17:10,062 --> 02:17:12,882 Provided by explosiveskull https://twitter.com/kaboomskull