1
00:02:06,209 --> 00:02:10,379
My name is Maddy and I
have three moms and no dad.

2
00:02:10,380 --> 00:02:11,630
That sounds pretty wild,

3
00:02:11,631 --> 00:02:13,423
and I totally wanna
explain everything,

4
00:02:13,424 --> 00:02:16,718
but first we should
meet Lynette Price.

5
00:02:16,719 --> 00:02:18,220
Not too many years ago,

6
00:02:18,221 --> 00:02:20,806
Lynette was a grad student and
lived in the academic wilds

7
00:02:20,807 --> 00:02:22,724
of Southern California.

8
00:02:22,725 --> 00:02:24,726
School didn't allow
Lynette too many breaks

9
00:02:24,727 --> 00:02:26,103
but one thing she
looked forward to

10
00:02:26,104 --> 00:02:28,230
was the monthly dinner
party she took turns hosting

11
00:02:28,231 --> 00:02:31,234
with her best friends,
Jessica and Candy.

12
00:02:32,735 --> 00:02:34,154
Just a second.

13
00:02:42,579 --> 00:02:43,580
I was robbed.

14
00:02:44,747 --> 00:02:46,331
My God, I'm
calling the police.

15
00:02:46,332 --> 00:02:48,125
Hello-hello.

16
00:02:48,126 --> 00:02:49,334
We've got an emergency.

17
00:02:49,335 --> 00:02:50,295
What happened?

18
00:02:50,296 --> 00:02:51,587
Jess got robbed last night.

19
00:02:51,588 --> 00:02:53,297
I'm trying to call the police.

20
00:02:53,298 --> 00:02:54,798
Couldn't you call
them last night?

21
00:02:54,799 --> 00:02:57,259
They wouldn't let me use my
cell phone in the ambulance.

22
00:02:57,260 --> 00:02:58,760
What were you doing
in an ambulance?

23
00:02:58,761 --> 00:02:59,845
They had to take
me to the hospital

24
00:02:59,846 --> 00:03:00,805
to get out the shrapnel.

25
00:03:00,806 --> 00:03:02,014
Shrapnel?

26
00:03:02,015 --> 00:03:04,183
It's okay, honey, the
staples are holding.

27
00:03:04,184 --> 00:03:05,767
Why did they staple you?

28
00:03:05,768 --> 00:03:07,311
Well, there's this little
girl and she needed a kidney

29
00:03:07,312 --> 00:03:08,604
and we were a match.

30
00:03:08,605 --> 00:03:10,272
You donated one
of your kidneys?

31
00:03:10,273 --> 00:03:11,773
That's so, so-

32
00:03:11,774 --> 00:03:13,317
- Out of character.

33
00:03:13,318 --> 00:03:17,279
Well everything changed
when I saw the angel.

34
00:03:17,280 --> 00:03:19,281
Oh, a real angel?

35
00:03:19,282 --> 00:03:22,451
She was wearing this
amazing dress, Dior, I think.

36
00:03:22,452 --> 00:03:23,369
Angel.

37
00:03:23,370 --> 00:03:25,954
She was super cute. All glowy.

38
00:03:25,955 --> 00:03:28,499
Jess, what do you need?

39
00:03:30,960 --> 00:03:32,795
Your apartment.

40
00:03:36,174 --> 00:03:38,175
When did Jessica
as a young girl

41
00:03:38,176 --> 00:03:40,802
realize that people were
treating her specially

42
00:03:40,803 --> 00:03:43,013
because of the way she looked?

43
00:03:43,014 --> 00:03:45,140
And when did she figure
out how to use that

44
00:03:45,141 --> 00:03:46,184
to her advantage?

45
00:03:48,478 --> 00:03:49,978
Aren't you going
to kick me out?

46
00:03:49,979 --> 00:03:52,689
You must keep your hands
to yourself, Jessica.

47
00:03:52,690 --> 00:03:53,815
Why aren't you
going to kick me out?

48
00:03:53,816 --> 00:03:55,025
I pushed over Melanie.

49
00:03:55,026 --> 00:03:57,402
Yes. And you cannot do that.

50
00:03:57,403 --> 00:03:59,655
Kick me out, make
her play Clara.

51
00:03:59,656 --> 00:04:01,240
She's so much better than me.

52
00:04:01,241 --> 00:04:02,491
I know, but-

53
00:04:02,492 --> 00:04:04,326
- See, you agree she's better.

54
00:04:04,327 --> 00:04:07,996
Our donors expect
grace and beauty.

55
00:04:07,997 --> 00:04:10,499
You project that
better than Melanie.

56
00:04:10,500 --> 00:04:12,669
How? I'm a total slob.

57
00:04:14,003 --> 00:04:15,837
Have my sister Carolyn do it.

58
00:04:15,838 --> 00:04:18,382
She's beautiful
and full of grace.

59
00:04:18,383 --> 00:04:20,008
We don't have time for this.

60
00:04:20,009 --> 00:04:22,010
You will play the part of Clara.

61
00:04:22,011 --> 00:04:23,679
You will let Melanie coach you,

62
00:04:23,680 --> 00:04:26,390
and you will keep your
hands to yourself.

63
00:04:26,391 --> 00:04:27,849
Or what?

64
00:04:27,850 --> 00:04:30,519
Or I will let your mother
know that you hit another child.

65
00:04:30,520 --> 00:04:32,354
Did you hear what
Melanie said to me?

66
00:04:32,355 --> 00:04:35,024
When you told her to help
me she said, "Why bother?"

67
00:04:43,700 --> 00:04:44,908
Take this.

68
00:04:44,909 --> 00:04:47,369
Go to the bakery and
get yourself something.

69
00:04:47,370 --> 00:04:50,122
Cool down. And then come back.

70
00:04:50,123 --> 00:04:51,373
Is this a bribe?

71
00:04:51,374 --> 00:04:52,709
It's a deal.

72
00:05:00,216 --> 00:05:01,800
Why do you need my apartment?

73
00:05:01,801 --> 00:05:03,635
I have a date, silly.

74
00:05:03,636 --> 00:05:05,262
You also have
your own apartment.

75
00:05:05,263 --> 00:05:06,555
You have a date?

76
00:05:06,556 --> 00:05:08,557
Oh, so you're okay.

77
00:05:08,558 --> 00:05:09,808
Oh, careful. My face hurts.

78
00:05:09,809 --> 00:05:10,727
Oh.

79
00:05:10,728 --> 00:05:12,561
From where the robbers beat you?

80
00:05:12,562 --> 00:05:14,771
It's been hurting
worse every day.

81
00:05:14,772 --> 00:05:18,900
I bought this makeup Iman and
I think I'm allergic to it.

82
00:05:18,901 --> 00:05:23,322
Iman? The model? But you
don't want anything like her.

83
00:05:23,323 --> 00:05:24,741
I'm doing a tanned thing.

84
00:05:26,659 --> 00:05:27,909
Damn Iman!

85
00:05:27,910 --> 00:05:28,786
It's been hurting all week.

86
00:05:28,787 --> 00:05:30,746
Have you seen a doctor?

87
00:05:30,747 --> 00:05:33,790
Yeah. He gave me some goop,
but I'm not going to touch it.

88
00:05:33,791 --> 00:05:34,751
Why not?

89
00:05:34,752 --> 00:05:35,959
Goop dries out your skin.

90
00:05:35,960 --> 00:05:38,170
If I dry my skin, I'll look old.

91
00:05:38,171 --> 00:05:39,421
But-

92
00:05:39,422 --> 00:05:40,630
- Well, I'm not going to
walk around looking old.

93
00:05:40,631 --> 00:05:42,591
People do it every day.

94
00:05:42,592 --> 00:05:45,635
Lynnie, this is
how you can help me.

95
00:05:45,636 --> 00:05:48,638
Let me use your apartment so
this guy thinks I'm smart.

96
00:05:48,639 --> 00:05:50,265
Jess, you are smart.

97
00:05:50,266 --> 00:05:52,809
No, I have taste.
Big difference.

98
00:05:52,810 --> 00:05:55,188
Does my apartment look smart?

99
00:05:58,775 --> 00:06:01,610
What moron convinced
young Lynette

100
00:06:01,611 --> 00:06:03,445
that being the smartest
one in the room

101
00:06:03,446 --> 00:06:05,281
wasn't a good thing?

102
00:06:11,621 --> 00:06:12,621
Hi, Enzo.

103
00:06:14,123 --> 00:06:15,624
Hey, Lynette.

104
00:06:15,625 --> 00:06:17,667
Mr. Marsh said that you
were looking for someone

105
00:06:17,668 --> 00:06:19,294
to help you with geometry.

106
00:06:19,295 --> 00:06:20,505
I'm a pretty good tutor.

107
00:06:21,631 --> 00:06:23,507
Look, I know you're smart

108
00:06:23,508 --> 00:06:25,300
but that doesn't mean I
want to hang out with you.

109
00:06:25,301 --> 00:06:26,676
- But-
- No.

110
00:06:26,677 --> 00:06:28,303
Are you going to buy anything?

111
00:06:28,304 --> 00:06:30,472
Because I gotta
get back to work.

112
00:06:30,473 --> 00:06:31,849
Enzo, clean toilet.

113
00:06:34,811 --> 00:06:36,144
Good afternoon.

114
00:06:36,145 --> 00:06:37,646
Special today is spinach
and croissant.

115
00:06:37,647 --> 00:06:40,650
I guess I'll have a
piece of Devil's Food cake.

116
00:06:44,570 --> 00:06:45,987
You have smart things.

117
00:06:45,988 --> 00:06:48,156
Your smart pictures,

118
00:06:48,157 --> 00:06:49,908
smart furniture.

119
00:06:49,909 --> 00:06:51,993
Look at this flute thing.

120
00:06:51,994 --> 00:06:54,246
No normal person can
play a thing like this.

121
00:06:54,247 --> 00:06:56,164
It was an heirloom.

122
00:06:56,165 --> 00:06:57,374
Say that again.

123
00:06:57,375 --> 00:06:58,375
Heirloom.

124
00:06:59,335 --> 00:07:00,669
Heirloom.

125
00:07:00,670 --> 00:07:01,711
Heirloom.

126
00:07:01,712 --> 00:07:03,255
Oh, look, honey.

127
00:07:03,256 --> 00:07:05,173
This precious little flute
thing here is a heirloom.

128
00:07:05,174 --> 00:07:06,341
An heirloom.

129
00:07:06,342 --> 00:07:08,009
Oh, of course I don't
know how to play it.

130
00:07:08,010 --> 00:07:10,554
That's a lost art form
from the underclass.

131
00:07:10,555 --> 00:07:14,224
Actually you can
learn how down at the Y.

132
00:07:14,225 --> 00:07:15,851
What's a "Y"?

133
00:07:15,852 --> 00:07:19,856
The YMCA. Where I teach
knitting and take scrapbooking.

134
00:07:21,732 --> 00:07:22,858
Is this a first date?

135
00:07:22,859 --> 00:07:24,192
No. Third.

136
00:07:24,193 --> 00:07:25,694
Third date with the same guy?

137
00:07:25,695 --> 00:07:28,029
Congratulations!

138
00:07:28,030 --> 00:07:29,448
Ow.

139
00:07:29,449 --> 00:07:31,575
No, it's just that
getting to a third date

140
00:07:31,576 --> 00:07:32,909
seems hard for you.

141
00:07:32,910 --> 00:07:34,369
Ow.

142
00:07:34,370 --> 00:07:36,371
No, it's not that men don't
want to go out with you.

143
00:07:36,372 --> 00:07:37,206
It's just-

144
00:07:37,207 --> 00:07:38,207
- You get bored.

145
00:07:39,125 --> 00:07:40,542
Like men never bore you two.

146
00:07:40,543 --> 00:07:42,043
I never meet any.

147
00:07:42,044 --> 00:07:44,547
At her job, Candy must have
to beat them off with a stick.

148
00:07:49,719 --> 00:07:51,219
Young candy
seemed to know right

149
00:07:51,220 --> 00:07:53,138
from the start that her
sunny smile could light up

150
00:07:53,139 --> 00:07:54,265
even the darkest day.

151
00:07:56,392 --> 00:07:57,434
Hi.

152
00:07:57,435 --> 00:07:58,769
I'm Candy's mother.

153
00:07:59,896 --> 00:08:02,230
There's been a
loss in the family.

154
00:08:02,231 --> 00:08:03,065
I know.

155
00:08:03,066 --> 00:08:04,901
I was told. I'm sorry.

156
00:08:06,068 --> 00:08:07,068
Candy.

157
00:08:09,739 --> 00:08:11,491
Did you grab your
reader, Sunshine?

158
00:08:12,742 --> 00:08:14,326
You call her Sunshine?

159
00:08:14,327 --> 00:08:17,078
Oh, we all do. It's her smile.

160
00:08:17,079 --> 00:08:18,580
Oh, I could put a
stop to it if you-

161
00:08:18,581 --> 00:08:19,581
- No. Please don't.

162
00:08:20,583 --> 00:08:21,583
It's beautiful.

163
00:08:22,418 --> 00:08:23,418
Bye, Ms. Jenkins.

164
00:08:23,419 --> 00:08:24,419
Bye.

165
00:08:37,934 --> 00:08:39,769
Mommy, why are you so sad?

166
00:08:41,270 --> 00:08:42,647
I miss my mommy.

167
00:08:44,190 --> 00:08:48,944
When you're sad, something
sweet can make you feel better.

168
00:08:48,945 --> 00:08:50,946
That's what Ms. Jenkins says.

169
00:08:50,947 --> 00:08:53,658
Maybe we'll stop on the
way and get your favorite.

170
00:08:54,659 --> 00:08:55,785
Hugs can help too.

171
00:08:58,204 --> 00:08:59,956
They help so much, Sunshine.

172
00:09:02,124 --> 00:09:03,792
Our first two dates
were out on the town

173
00:09:03,793 --> 00:09:06,127
so now I'm going to show
him my domestic side.

174
00:09:06,128 --> 00:09:08,171
You don't have
a domestic side.

175
00:09:08,172 --> 00:09:09,172
Well, exactly.

176
00:09:09,173 --> 00:09:10,715
So I'm going to use yours.

177
00:09:10,716 --> 00:09:13,301
Ooh, is this with that guy
who works on the 21st floor?

178
00:09:13,302 --> 00:09:14,803
No, I'm so over him.

179
00:09:14,804 --> 00:09:15,971
18th floor?

180
00:09:15,972 --> 00:09:18,306
He kisses like Scooby-Doo.

181
00:09:18,307 --> 00:09:20,226
The hunk from the mail room?

182
00:09:22,478 --> 00:09:24,896
Like I would ever
do the mail room.

183
00:09:24,897 --> 00:09:26,147
But-

184
00:09:26,148 --> 00:09:27,588
- Hey, we agreed
that never happened.

185
00:09:28,651 --> 00:09:30,527
Is this that guy we met
at that party last weekend?

186
00:09:30,528 --> 00:09:31,653
Which?

187
00:09:31,654 --> 00:09:32,488
The tall one.

188
00:09:32,489 --> 00:09:33,489
Dark hair?

189
00:09:33,490 --> 00:09:34,573
No, no no. Which party?

190
00:09:34,574 --> 00:09:36,074
You and I met a photographer.

191
00:09:36,075 --> 00:09:37,325
Oh yeah!

192
00:09:37,326 --> 00:09:39,703
He stared at me
with bridal lust.

193
00:09:39,704 --> 00:09:40,912
I almost slapped him.

194
00:09:40,913 --> 00:09:42,330
I talked to him a little.

195
00:09:42,331 --> 00:09:44,708
Little? More like 45 minutes.

196
00:09:44,709 --> 00:09:47,503
But yeah, he and I went out
for drinks later that night.

197
00:09:48,713 --> 00:09:49,713
Oh.

198
00:09:50,756 --> 00:09:52,424
He seemed nice.

199
00:09:52,425 --> 00:09:56,177
He is going to take one
look around this apartment

200
00:09:56,178 --> 00:09:59,431
and think that I don't
need him, which is perfect.

201
00:09:59,432 --> 00:10:02,225
My apartment says
I don't need men?

202
00:10:02,226 --> 00:10:04,269
Everything about you
says you don't need men.

203
00:10:04,270 --> 00:10:06,187
She's working on her PhD.

204
00:10:06,188 --> 00:10:07,106
Exactly.

205
00:10:07,107 --> 00:10:09,190
Educated women don't need men?

206
00:10:09,191 --> 00:10:11,192
Maybe for experiments
or something.

207
00:10:11,193 --> 00:10:14,905
But, look, you
talk so much about

208
00:10:16,032 --> 00:10:18,199
whatever it is that you study

209
00:10:18,200 --> 00:10:20,535
that I could write a
desecration of my own.

210
00:10:20,536 --> 00:10:21,578
Well, don't worry.

211
00:10:21,579 --> 00:10:23,788
I'm through talking about it.

212
00:10:23,789 --> 00:10:25,373
See, she's sick of it too.

213
00:10:25,374 --> 00:10:27,375
You've finished
your dissertation?

214
00:10:27,376 --> 00:10:29,377
Oh, congratulations.

215
00:10:29,378 --> 00:10:31,129
Are we celebrating?

216
00:10:31,130 --> 00:10:32,631
Should I get a stripper?

217
00:10:32,632 --> 00:10:34,049
I know a really good one
with a pizza boy routine.

218
00:10:34,050 --> 00:10:35,925
Let's celebrate with
what I got from work.

219
00:10:35,926 --> 00:10:39,137
There's salads and for
dressing we have honey-mustard,

220
00:10:39,138 --> 00:10:41,473
light Italian and
strawberry pistachio

221
00:10:41,474 --> 00:10:43,224
Strawberry pistachio?

222
00:10:43,225 --> 00:10:44,559
Is that a new recipe?

223
00:10:44,560 --> 00:10:46,562
New accident, but
it's not that bad.

224
00:10:47,938 --> 00:10:49,818
Dude, your disaster
dressing can be poisonous.

225
00:10:51,734 --> 00:10:54,235
Like the strawberries
and the nuts

226
00:10:54,236 --> 00:10:57,113
could have some crazy
chemical reaction

227
00:10:57,114 --> 00:10:58,740
like when you mixed
drink cleaners.

228
00:10:58,741 --> 00:11:00,910
When did you ever
touch drain cleaner?

229
00:11:02,078 --> 00:11:03,912
I saw it on "News
of the Weird".

230
00:11:03,913 --> 00:11:05,580
Some lady died.

231
00:11:05,581 --> 00:11:08,084
Oh, shut up and
taste it, Jess.

232
00:11:14,465 --> 00:11:15,341
Damn it!

233
00:11:15,341 --> 00:11:16,300
You hate it?

234
00:11:16,301 --> 00:11:18,093
Well, it's delicious.

235
00:11:18,094 --> 00:11:19,427
Then what?

236
00:11:19,428 --> 00:11:21,471
Why does Candy have
to be so creative?

237
00:11:21,472 --> 00:11:23,432
I mean, it's bad
enough that she looks

238
00:11:24,684 --> 00:11:26,434
how she looks.

239
00:11:26,435 --> 00:11:29,270
Why don't you borrow
Candy's place for your date?

240
00:11:29,271 --> 00:11:30,189
Uh.

241
00:11:30,190 --> 00:11:31,773
Guys love creative women.

242
00:11:31,774 --> 00:11:35,318
And in her bedroom Candy has
scratch-and-sniff wallpaper.

243
00:11:35,319 --> 00:11:36,778
Oh I wore that out.

244
00:11:36,779 --> 00:11:39,823
And books from
all over the world.

245
00:11:39,824 --> 00:11:42,117
I never knew there was more
than one version of Cinderella.

246
00:11:42,118 --> 00:11:43,284
Yeah, the Brothers
Grimm's version

247
00:11:43,285 --> 00:11:44,786
is called "Aschenputtel".

248
00:11:44,787 --> 00:11:46,329
Amazing.

249
00:11:46,330 --> 00:11:48,289
Jess, this guy would
fall in love with you

250
00:11:48,290 --> 00:11:50,041
if you were Candy.

251
00:11:50,042 --> 00:11:52,128
"Ashpuddle". It sounds dirty.

252
00:11:53,796 --> 00:11:54,547
Ow.

253
00:11:54,547 --> 00:11:55,547
Face. Ow.

254
00:11:57,717 --> 00:11:59,175
Hey, why don't we
take our monthly picture

255
00:11:59,176 --> 00:12:01,678
so you can take
off Iman's makeup.

256
00:12:01,679 --> 00:12:03,388
No, no, I can wait.

257
00:12:03,389 --> 00:12:05,473
You guys finish
your little salads

258
00:12:05,474 --> 00:12:07,143
with your scary dressing.

259
00:12:14,650 --> 00:12:17,318
Oh. It feels kind of
like sunburn your face.

260
00:12:17,319 --> 00:12:18,820
Your face?

261
00:12:18,821 --> 00:12:20,238
Yeah.

262
00:12:20,239 --> 00:12:21,574
Like warm and prickly.

263
00:12:23,159 --> 00:12:24,325
But if I just stare at the wall

264
00:12:24,326 --> 00:12:26,495
and don't move, it's fine.

265
00:12:29,498 --> 00:12:30,833
But then my neck gets tired.

266
00:12:32,752 --> 00:12:34,586
I'm so sorry you're
not feeling good, Jess.

267
00:12:34,587 --> 00:12:38,506
Lynnie, do you have any acids
so I can burn my skin off?

268
00:12:38,507 --> 00:12:40,342
Go get some ice
out of the freezer.

269
00:12:41,510 --> 00:12:42,510
Okay.

270
00:12:51,187 --> 00:12:53,104
Lynnie, I don't think
your ice is cold enough.

271
00:12:53,105 --> 00:12:54,189
Blow on it.

272
00:12:54,190 --> 00:12:55,190
That cools it off.

273
00:12:58,861 --> 00:13:01,280
Ow! My face hurts when I blow.

274
00:13:03,365 --> 00:13:04,700
I'm not gonna touch that.

275
00:13:06,202 --> 00:13:08,412
Why don't you wanna
stick your whole head in?

276
00:13:13,375 --> 00:13:14,210
Ow.

277
00:13:14,211 --> 00:13:15,543
Oh my God I'm stuck.

278
00:13:15,544 --> 00:13:17,213
I'm stuck, you guys.

279
00:13:18,714 --> 00:13:19,632
I'm stuck, guys!

280
00:13:19,632 --> 00:13:20,632
I'm stuck.

281
00:13:24,470 --> 00:13:25,304
Hold still.

282
00:13:25,305 --> 00:13:26,889
Owie, ow!

283
00:13:30,434 --> 00:13:31,726
Lynnie, what happens next?

284
00:13:31,727 --> 00:13:33,561
I have to defend
my dissertation.

285
00:13:33,562 --> 00:13:35,063
Defend it?

286
00:13:35,064 --> 00:13:37,315
This panel of professors
rakes me over the coals.

287
00:13:37,316 --> 00:13:39,651
Speaking of burning
coals, my face is burning.

288
00:13:39,652 --> 00:13:41,736
The process helps me
scrape away the b.s.

289
00:13:41,737 --> 00:13:44,114
I wish I could scrape
this freezer off my face.

290
00:13:45,282 --> 00:13:46,282
Ow.

291
00:13:48,577 --> 00:13:49,994
I'm counting on
them approving it.

292
00:13:49,995 --> 00:13:51,955
If not, my face
is going to be so-

293
00:13:51,956 --> 00:13:53,248
- Oh, don't say it.

294
00:13:53,249 --> 00:13:55,500
If anyone's face
is red, it's mine.

295
00:13:55,501 --> 00:13:56,418
It burns.

296
00:13:56,419 --> 00:13:58,419
And it's like the sun.

297
00:13:58,420 --> 00:13:59,672
Let's take our picture.

298
00:14:08,973 --> 00:14:10,265
How long is the timer?

299
00:14:10,266 --> 00:14:11,767
About two seconds.

300
00:14:17,940 --> 00:14:19,148
Ow.

301
00:14:19,149 --> 00:14:20,150
Try again.

302
00:14:26,448 --> 00:14:28,284
Oh, nice picture of my butt.

303
00:14:35,165 --> 00:14:36,125
I need ice.

304
00:14:36,125 --> 00:14:37,125
Hold on, hun.

305
00:14:52,349 --> 00:14:54,809
Oh, the camera died.

306
00:14:54,810 --> 00:14:55,644
Aw.

307
00:14:55,644 --> 00:14:56,644
I'm sorry.

308
00:14:57,897 --> 00:15:00,481
Now, Jess, you and Iman's
curse can part company.

309
00:15:00,482 --> 00:15:01,984
Thank you.

310
00:15:05,362 --> 00:15:07,989
Lynnie, are you in therapy?

311
00:15:07,990 --> 00:15:09,324
A therapist does
have to go through

312
00:15:09,325 --> 00:15:11,075
a certain amount of
therapy to get a degree,

313
00:15:11,076 --> 00:15:14,079
but I am resisting.

314
00:15:16,498 --> 00:15:18,416
So are you in therapy?

315
00:15:18,417 --> 00:15:21,336
Yes, but that's not helping.

316
00:15:21,337 --> 00:15:23,171
Are you in therapy?

317
00:15:23,172 --> 00:15:24,673
I was, but she dropped me.

318
00:15:26,675 --> 00:15:29,427
Candy had actually been in
therapy for about six months

319
00:15:29,428 --> 00:15:30,762
at that point.

320
00:15:30,763 --> 00:15:33,348
A string of disappointing
relationships

321
00:15:33,349 --> 00:15:34,557
had left her feeling

322
00:15:34,558 --> 00:15:36,518
like she was doing
something very wrong.

323
00:15:37,561 --> 00:15:38,561
But was she?

324
00:15:39,563 --> 00:15:42,106
He hates that I make
more money than him.

325
00:15:42,107 --> 00:15:43,900
Well, why shouldn't
you make more?

326
00:15:43,901 --> 00:15:45,860
You have a very demanding job:

327
00:15:45,861 --> 00:15:49,072
heavy trays,
rambunctious customers.

328
00:15:49,073 --> 00:15:51,199
Also he doesn't
think I'm funny.

329
00:15:51,200 --> 00:15:52,867
He thinks that I'm a loner,

330
00:15:52,868 --> 00:15:54,202
that my hobbies are weird.

331
00:15:54,203 --> 00:15:56,037
Uh, which hobbies?

332
00:15:56,038 --> 00:15:57,538
Well, my cat outreach,

333
00:15:57,539 --> 00:15:58,539
my knitting.

334
00:16:00,250 --> 00:16:01,250
Well, alright.

335
00:16:02,711 --> 00:16:06,130
It sounds to me
like Larry is um-

336
00:16:06,131 --> 00:16:07,256
- Lowry.

337
00:16:07,257 --> 00:16:08,217
Lowry?

338
00:16:08,217 --> 00:16:09,051
Really?

339
00:16:09,052 --> 00:16:10,551
Lowry?

340
00:16:10,552 --> 00:16:13,888
Well, it sounds to me like
Lowry cares about image.

341
00:16:13,889 --> 00:16:15,723
Well, when we were
out to dinner last week,

342
00:16:15,724 --> 00:16:18,309
he seemed to be flirting
with other women constantly.

343
00:16:18,310 --> 00:16:19,560
Mm.

344
00:16:19,561 --> 00:16:20,770
He said he was
just being friendly.

345
00:16:20,771 --> 00:16:23,231
Uhuh. Made you kinda
uncomfortable, right?

346
00:16:23,232 --> 00:16:24,565
Yes.

347
00:16:24,566 --> 00:16:28,112
He said the time we
had sex was a mistake.

348
00:16:29,822 --> 00:16:31,739
You had sex only once?

349
00:16:31,740 --> 00:16:32,991
Did you enjoy it?

350
00:16:32,992 --> 00:16:35,410
I was glad he wanted
to have sex with me.

351
00:16:35,411 --> 00:16:40,416
All those things that he
said about you are not true.

352
00:16:41,250 --> 00:16:42,417
Okay?

353
00:16:42,418 --> 00:16:43,918
You are funny.

354
00:16:43,919 --> 00:16:45,754
And you're not a loner.

355
00:16:47,423 --> 00:16:49,090
I once invited
Lowry to come with me

356
00:16:49,091 --> 00:16:49,967
to cat socialization.

357
00:16:49,968 --> 00:16:51,843
Wait, wait, wait.

358
00:16:51,844 --> 00:16:52,803
Cat what?

359
00:16:52,804 --> 00:16:54,303
A cat socialization.

360
00:16:54,304 --> 00:16:56,681
It's where I go to the shelter
to play with the feral kitty

361
00:16:56,682 --> 00:16:58,600
so they get used to humans.

362
00:16:59,435 --> 00:17:01,185
Aren't you priceless?

363
00:17:01,186 --> 00:17:02,979
And you know
what he said to me?

364
00:17:02,980 --> 00:17:04,272
He said, "What makes you think

365
00:17:04,273 --> 00:17:06,649
I would ever want to do that?"

366
00:17:06,650 --> 00:17:09,193
Where does this
relationship stand now?

367
00:17:09,194 --> 00:17:12,113
Well, last night I told him

368
00:17:12,114 --> 00:17:14,282
I don't think he's good for me.

369
00:17:14,283 --> 00:17:16,034
And then I took back
the wall tapestry

370
00:17:16,035 --> 00:17:19,203
that I knitted for
him. That mean?

371
00:17:19,204 --> 00:17:20,705
No.

372
00:17:20,706 --> 00:17:22,790
Imagine how a guy like
that might treat a child.

373
00:17:22,791 --> 00:17:25,126
I shudder to think.

374
00:17:25,127 --> 00:17:26,961
What do I do now?

375
00:17:26,962 --> 00:17:28,796
I need so much therapy.

376
00:17:28,797 --> 00:17:29,797
Okay.

377
00:17:31,216 --> 00:17:36,221
Candy, you got yourself out of
a very unhealthy relationship

378
00:17:38,015 --> 00:17:39,682
all by yourself.

379
00:17:39,683 --> 00:17:40,683
My hats off.

380
00:17:42,144 --> 00:17:44,813
I don't think you have to
come back here anymore.

381
00:17:46,148 --> 00:17:47,148
Time's up.

382
00:17:51,028 --> 00:17:52,487
When was this?

383
00:17:52,488 --> 00:17:54,697
About six months ago.

384
00:17:54,698 --> 00:17:58,034
Ever since my dating
life has been nothing.

385
00:17:58,035 --> 00:17:59,160
Nothing?

386
00:17:59,161 --> 00:18:01,204
Guys hit on you constantly.

387
00:18:01,205 --> 00:18:02,830
No, we all get hit on.

388
00:18:02,831 --> 00:18:05,083
Guys just want to say they
went out with a Curvees girl.

389
00:18:05,084 --> 00:18:07,168
Guys hit on girls that
they think are pretty.

390
00:18:07,169 --> 00:18:09,003
For me it's just the uniform.

391
00:18:09,004 --> 00:18:10,838
It's just like when
I was a cheerleader.

392
00:18:10,839 --> 00:18:13,174
Didn't you go to four
senior proms that year?

393
00:18:13,175 --> 00:18:15,343
Yeah, because guys just
want to take a cheerleader

394
00:18:15,344 --> 00:18:16,552
to the prom.

395
00:18:16,553 --> 00:18:18,096
It's the uniform.

396
00:18:18,097 --> 00:18:21,516
If you were ugly, why did
they make you a cheerleader?

397
00:18:21,517 --> 00:18:23,184
My brother was on
the football team.

398
00:18:23,185 --> 00:18:24,519
Oh, making you a cheerleader

399
00:18:24,520 --> 00:18:25,853
helped your brother
play football?

400
00:18:25,854 --> 00:18:28,898
And my mom was vice
president of the PTA.

401
00:18:28,899 --> 00:18:30,526
Nothing to do with me.

402
00:18:31,693 --> 00:18:33,194
The stuff hurts.

403
00:18:33,195 --> 00:18:34,237
What is it?

404
00:18:34,238 --> 00:18:36,030
It's your skin goop.

405
00:18:36,031 --> 00:18:37,741
I found it under the sink.

406
00:18:49,545 --> 00:18:50,920
Dog shampoo?

407
00:18:50,921 --> 00:18:51,921
Jess.

408
00:18:54,883 --> 00:18:55,883
Come here.

409
00:19:00,764 --> 00:19:02,557
Does she need to
go to the hospital?

410
00:19:02,558 --> 00:19:03,392
Yes!

411
00:19:03,392 --> 00:19:04,392
No.

412
00:19:07,396 --> 00:19:08,729
I better go soon.

413
00:19:08,730 --> 00:19:10,273
I have to get up tomorrow.

414
00:19:10,274 --> 00:19:11,816
Early shift?

415
00:19:11,817 --> 00:19:15,237
No, I have this
special class just.

416
00:19:17,072 --> 00:19:20,741
Jess, seriously, how did you
not know this was dog shampoo?

417
00:19:20,742 --> 00:19:22,410
It smelled nice.

418
00:19:22,411 --> 00:19:26,164
The words, dog shampoo
don't mean anything?

419
00:19:26,165 --> 00:19:28,000
Or the picture of the dog?

420
00:19:29,459 --> 00:19:31,919
Look, I just thought it was
a cheapie brand or something.

421
00:19:31,920 --> 00:19:33,796
And besides why do
you have dogs shampoo?

422
00:19:33,797 --> 00:19:34,797
You don't have a dog.

423
00:19:34,798 --> 00:19:36,299
I sometimes dog-sit.

424
00:19:36,300 --> 00:19:39,427
I can't remember
annoying details like that.

425
00:19:39,428 --> 00:19:43,347
So I'm smart, I'm annoying,
I'm Miss Cheapie Brands?

426
00:19:43,348 --> 00:19:46,684
Hey, you called
yourself the coupon queen.

427
00:19:46,685 --> 00:19:49,520
At least I do my own shopping.

428
00:19:49,521 --> 00:19:51,439
You are always trying
to get some poor idiot

429
00:19:51,440 --> 00:19:52,607
to buy you dinner.

430
00:19:52,608 --> 00:19:54,775
Okay. Well, let's
call it a night.

431
00:19:54,776 --> 00:19:56,611
Oh, but it was
just getting good.

432
00:19:56,612 --> 00:19:59,113
No, it was just getting bad.

433
00:19:59,114 --> 00:20:00,781
I'll call you tomorrow, Lynnie.

434
00:20:00,782 --> 00:20:01,783
Ow. Alright.

435
00:20:04,995 --> 00:20:06,537
Bye bye, Cheapie.

436
00:20:06,538 --> 00:20:07,538
Bye, Jessica.

437
00:20:11,793 --> 00:20:15,546
Sometimes you need therapy
to help sort things out.

438
00:20:15,547 --> 00:20:17,965
And sometimes you
just need a good chat

439
00:20:17,966 --> 00:20:19,468
with a ghost from the past.

440
00:20:20,510 --> 00:20:21,637
A cute ghost.

441
00:20:34,816 --> 00:20:36,234
Hello.

442
00:20:36,235 --> 00:20:37,652
Keith.

443
00:20:37,653 --> 00:20:39,321
Hi. It's Lynette.

444
00:20:40,489 --> 00:20:42,365
A voice from the past.

445
00:20:42,366 --> 00:20:43,825
Wow. How are you?

446
00:20:45,160 --> 00:20:46,369
I just started my doctorate.

447
00:20:46,370 --> 00:20:49,873
So I'm excited. But I'm a mess.

448
00:20:50,832 --> 00:20:51,999
That's great.

449
00:20:52,000 --> 00:20:53,168
I'm so proud of you.

450
00:20:55,504 --> 00:20:56,672
Bobby and I broke up.

451
00:20:57,756 --> 00:21:00,007
How long
were you two together?

452
00:21:00,008 --> 00:21:01,551
Just over four years.

453
00:21:02,719 --> 00:21:03,679
That's how long it's been

454
00:21:03,679 --> 00:21:04,596
since you and I saw each other?

455
00:21:04,597 --> 00:21:06,014
Since you and I last talked.

456
00:21:07,933 --> 00:21:08,767
How's Stella?

457
00:21:08,768 --> 00:21:10,060
Ha, Darla.

458
00:21:11,186 --> 00:21:12,520
How's Darla?

459
00:21:12,521 --> 00:21:14,064
Darla is now my wife.

460
00:21:15,274 --> 00:21:16,857
Oh, she's so lucky.

461
00:21:16,858 --> 00:21:18,359
I'll let you get back to that.

462
00:21:18,360 --> 00:21:20,278
She's not here.

463
00:21:20,279 --> 00:21:22,280
Yeah, but I'm sure your
wife wouldn't want you

464
00:21:22,281 --> 00:21:24,198
to be talking to an ex.

465
00:21:24,199 --> 00:21:25,741
I'm not up to no good.

466
00:21:25,742 --> 00:21:26,867
Uh, are you?

467
00:21:26,868 --> 00:21:28,286
No.

468
00:21:28,287 --> 00:21:30,871
But you and I-

469
00:21:30,872 --> 00:21:32,874
- Why did you
and Bobby break up?

470
00:21:34,710 --> 00:21:35,710
He cheated.

471
00:21:36,712 --> 00:21:39,714
But I think he was
just sick of me.

472
00:21:39,715 --> 00:21:40,715
That's terrible.

473
00:21:40,716 --> 00:21:42,383
Either way that's terrible.

474
00:21:42,384 --> 00:21:44,218
I'm so sorry, Lynnie.

475
00:21:44,219 --> 00:21:46,929
He said he just
couldn't talk to me

476
00:21:46,930 --> 00:21:48,598
and he was sick of trying.

477
00:21:51,310 --> 00:21:54,061
Am I really that
hard to talk to?

478
00:21:54,062 --> 00:21:55,981
You were
never hard to talk to.

479
00:21:59,901 --> 00:22:01,069
Was I a good lover?

480
00:22:03,572 --> 00:22:07,575
I know I have no right to
ask a married man that but-

481
00:22:07,576 --> 00:22:08,577
- Good lover?

482
00:22:10,120 --> 00:22:11,413
Good kisser.

483
00:22:12,581 --> 00:22:14,123
Good at other stuff.

484
00:22:14,124 --> 00:22:15,083
Yes.

485
00:22:15,084 --> 00:22:16,917
Yes, absolutely.

486
00:22:16,918 --> 00:22:18,502
Really?

487
00:22:18,503 --> 00:22:20,004
If you weren't

488
00:22:20,005 --> 00:22:22,798
then we wouldn't have been
together more than once.

489
00:22:22,799 --> 00:22:23,799
Don't you agree?

490
00:22:27,637 --> 00:22:28,971
I guess I would give
you a second chance

491
00:22:28,972 --> 00:22:30,182
with that great smile.

492
00:22:33,435 --> 00:22:36,188
It's just, when
you get cheated on,

493
00:22:37,773 --> 00:22:39,648
you lose all your confidence.

494
00:22:39,649 --> 00:22:42,985
Just feel like you've
lost everything.

495
00:22:42,986 --> 00:22:46,156
You are a
great lover, Lynette.

496
00:22:47,115 --> 00:22:48,324
Thank you.

497
00:22:48,325 --> 00:22:50,951
I mean,
yeah, I'm married, but-

498
00:22:50,952 --> 00:22:52,788
- No. Don't spoil it.

499
00:22:53,705 --> 00:22:55,122
Okay.

500
00:22:55,123 --> 00:22:57,501
You know, you and Darla
would adore each other.

501
00:22:59,294 --> 00:23:01,128
That's nice to hear.

502
00:23:01,129 --> 00:23:02,714
Talk to
you later. Bye.

503
00:23:07,844 --> 00:23:10,304
Jessica's obsession
with looking good

504
00:23:10,305 --> 00:23:13,015
worked in her most of the time.

505
00:23:13,016 --> 00:23:14,475
But a few years earlier,

506
00:23:14,476 --> 00:23:17,395
she applied for a job at a
company with a very silly name

507
00:23:17,396 --> 00:23:19,647
and she spent three
days picking out

508
00:23:19,648 --> 00:23:21,483
the perfect outfit
for the interview.

509
00:23:22,651 --> 00:23:24,152
Oops.

510
00:23:29,491 --> 00:23:30,574
Right through
there. Take a seat.

511
00:23:30,575 --> 00:23:31,660
Alright. Thank you.

512
00:23:33,995 --> 00:23:35,746
Uh, my name is Bill Whitmore,

513
00:23:35,747 --> 00:23:37,331
and I'm here for the
interview, please.

514
00:23:37,332 --> 00:23:38,416
Sign in.

515
00:23:38,417 --> 00:23:39,667
How long will it be?

516
00:23:39,668 --> 00:23:40,835
Just go in way.

517
00:23:40,836 --> 00:23:42,337
Take a seat.
They'll call you in.

518
00:23:43,505 --> 00:23:44,505
Thank you.

519
00:23:49,344 --> 00:23:50,678
How can I help you?

520
00:23:50,679 --> 00:23:52,179
Hi, my name is
Jessica Marshall.

521
00:23:52,180 --> 00:23:53,514
I'm here for the interview.

522
00:23:53,515 --> 00:23:54,516
Sign in please.

523
00:23:59,521 --> 00:24:00,856
You're next.

524
00:24:12,534 --> 00:24:13,702
Thank you, James.

525
00:24:15,537 --> 00:24:17,538
It's a pleasure, Miss Marshall.

526
00:24:17,539 --> 00:24:22,544
Hello. Um, am I waiting
here for Mr. Reynolds.

527
00:24:23,253 --> 00:24:24,587
I'm Taylor Reynold.

528
00:24:24,588 --> 00:24:25,422
Oh.

529
00:24:25,423 --> 00:24:26,547
Is that a problem?

530
00:24:26,548 --> 00:24:27,923
No, of course not.

531
00:24:27,924 --> 00:24:30,594
It looks like you
dressed for a man.

532
00:24:31,553 --> 00:24:32,553
Um. I-

533
00:24:32,554 --> 00:24:33,889
- You look really good.

534
00:24:35,223 --> 00:24:36,474
Thank you.

535
00:24:36,475 --> 00:24:38,476
Do you like working
for men more than women?

536
00:24:38,477 --> 00:24:40,394
Oh, I like working
more than not working.

537
00:24:40,395 --> 00:24:42,563
Your cover letter was honest.

538
00:24:42,564 --> 00:24:43,731
That's why I brought you in it.

539
00:24:43,732 --> 00:24:45,734
It certainly wasn't your resume.

540
00:24:46,902 --> 00:24:48,153
Oh, I see.

541
00:24:49,237 --> 00:24:50,571
I'll show myself out.

542
00:24:50,572 --> 00:24:51,490
No sit.

543
00:24:51,491 --> 00:24:52,782
You're still in the running.

544
00:24:54,576 --> 00:24:55,911
Do you have siblings?

545
00:24:56,786 --> 00:24:59,079
Yes. One sister.

546
00:24:59,080 --> 00:25:00,414
Her name is Carolyn.

547
00:25:00,415 --> 00:25:04,294
She's a dancer, singer,
actress, choreographer.

548
00:25:05,587 --> 00:25:06,921
I guess I don't have
to do those, huh?

549
00:25:06,922 --> 00:25:08,923
Do these things interest you?

550
00:25:08,924 --> 00:25:10,091
I used to dance.

551
00:25:11,259 --> 00:25:13,761
I fell off the stage
during The Nutcracker.

552
00:25:13,762 --> 00:25:15,804
Your sister doesn't
fall off stages?

553
00:25:15,805 --> 00:25:17,264
God no!

554
00:25:17,265 --> 00:25:21,436
She's beautiful and
graceful and funny, smart.

555
00:25:23,438 --> 00:25:26,106
Can you look this
good every day?

556
00:25:26,107 --> 00:25:27,441
Of course.

557
00:25:27,442 --> 00:25:30,194
Can you be cordial
to people you dislike?

558
00:25:30,195 --> 00:25:32,279
Oh gosh. I've been doing
that since I was like eleven.

559
00:25:32,280 --> 00:25:36,825
Are you planning to get
married or have a baby soon?

560
00:25:36,826 --> 00:25:37,826
Ew.

561
00:25:39,037 --> 00:25:40,704
Are you looking to
rise up through the ranks

562
00:25:40,705 --> 00:25:43,457
or would you be happy
staying in the same position?

563
00:25:43,458 --> 00:25:44,542
Would I get paid the same?

564
00:25:44,543 --> 00:25:45,961
Your salary would accrue.

565
00:25:47,295 --> 00:25:48,296
It would get bigger.

566
00:25:49,464 --> 00:25:51,799
Oh, well then
that would be fine.

567
00:25:51,800 --> 00:25:53,133
Where's your sister now?

568
00:25:53,134 --> 00:25:55,136
Oh she lives in New
York with her family.

569
00:25:56,888 --> 00:26:00,349
Is it bad that I don't care
about rising through the ranks?

570
00:26:00,350 --> 00:26:02,810
The receptionist is
the most important person

571
00:26:02,811 --> 00:26:04,019
at this company.

572
00:26:04,020 --> 00:26:05,813
I have a really
great phone voice.

573
00:26:05,814 --> 00:26:07,815
He or she is the first person

574
00:26:07,816 --> 00:26:09,650
our clients come
in contact with.

575
00:26:09,651 --> 00:26:10,651
I can dress down.

576
00:26:10,652 --> 00:26:13,196
No, your look is perfect.

577
00:26:16,491 --> 00:26:17,909
Congratulations.

578
00:26:19,160 --> 00:26:20,160
Really?

579
00:26:21,663 --> 00:26:23,665
Wow. Women never give me jobs.

580
00:26:27,335 --> 00:26:30,421
Have you had some
wonderful news to share

581
00:26:30,422 --> 00:26:33,842
but one of your pals
ruined your moment?

582
00:26:36,386 --> 00:26:38,345
Hey you guys, try this quiz.

583
00:26:38,346 --> 00:26:40,347
It looks like Femme magazine.

584
00:26:40,348 --> 00:26:42,016
What's wrong with Femme mag?

585
00:26:42,017 --> 00:26:43,934
It's devoted to urging women

586
00:26:43,935 --> 00:26:48,522
to make the most of their
assets while there's still time.

587
00:26:48,523 --> 00:26:50,734
Nothing lobotomy wouldn't fix.

588
00:26:54,029 --> 00:26:55,863
You try everything
to make him stay

589
00:26:55,864 --> 00:26:57,906
yet still his eyes wander.

590
00:26:57,907 --> 00:27:01,035
Take this simple quiz to find
out what you're doing wrong.

591
00:27:01,036 --> 00:27:03,912
Because he's obviously
doing nothing wrong.

592
00:27:03,913 --> 00:27:06,540
I don't think
Femme is that bad.

593
00:27:06,541 --> 00:27:08,918
They have really
great dieting tips.

594
00:27:09,794 --> 00:27:11,879
So what's the first question?

595
00:27:11,880 --> 00:27:15,215
Your man says he prefers
women with larger breasts.

596
00:27:15,216 --> 00:27:16,800
Oh, oh.

597
00:27:16,801 --> 00:27:21,055
Do you, A, remind him
of his own shortcomings?

598
00:27:21,056 --> 00:27:23,223
B, assume he's not interested.

599
00:27:23,224 --> 00:27:24,391
That's not a choice.

600
00:27:24,392 --> 00:27:25,893
B, have the operation.

601
00:27:25,894 --> 00:27:27,728
Or C, switch his glasses

602
00:27:27,729 --> 00:27:30,397
for ones that make things
appear larger than they are.

603
00:27:30,398 --> 00:27:31,732
What operation?

604
00:27:31,733 --> 00:27:33,108
Give me.

605
00:27:33,109 --> 00:27:35,109
I can't tell if you're
making this stuff up or not.

606
00:27:36,571 --> 00:27:38,906
Your man complains that
you're the wrong sex.

607
00:27:38,907 --> 00:27:40,824
Do you, A, get him into therapy

608
00:27:40,825 --> 00:27:43,243
to cure his homosexuality?

609
00:27:43,244 --> 00:27:45,663
B, get therapy yourself?

610
00:27:45,664 --> 00:27:48,832
Or, C, have the operation?

611
00:27:48,833 --> 00:27:50,292
A breast enlargement?

612
00:27:50,293 --> 00:27:52,419
But that would make you
even more the wrong sex.

613
00:27:52,420 --> 00:27:54,922
Maybe sex is just wrong.

614
00:27:54,923 --> 00:27:56,966
I dated a gay man
for seven months.

615
00:27:58,134 --> 00:28:00,094
My God, you didn't
figure it out?

616
00:28:00,095 --> 00:28:01,345
There were signs.

617
00:28:01,346 --> 00:28:03,597
But he knew all these
cute little restaurants.

618
00:28:03,598 --> 00:28:04,932
So what happened?

619
00:28:04,933 --> 00:28:06,266
I gained 10 pounds.

620
00:28:06,267 --> 00:28:08,102
Did the cute
restaurants give it away?

621
00:28:08,103 --> 00:28:09,770
It was the fact that
I gained 10 pounds

622
00:28:09,771 --> 00:28:11,939
and he didn't really mind.

623
00:28:11,940 --> 00:28:14,942
Your man complains that
you're not smart enough.

624
00:28:14,943 --> 00:28:16,819
Do you, A, eat fish,

625
00:28:16,820 --> 00:28:19,446
take night classes and
stand on your head?

626
00:28:19,447 --> 00:28:21,657
B, hire a tutor?

627
00:28:21,658 --> 00:28:24,202
Or, C, secretly
give him a lobotomy?

628
00:28:25,620 --> 00:28:27,496
How is standing on your
head gonna make you smarter?

629
00:28:27,497 --> 00:28:29,289
Does it really say
the lobotomy thing?

630
00:28:29,290 --> 00:28:30,958
I kid you not.

631
00:28:30,959 --> 00:28:33,460
You talk about
lobotomies a lot.

632
00:28:33,461 --> 00:28:35,295
Did you have one?

633
00:28:35,296 --> 00:28:38,382
I tried, but they
only got my tonsils.

634
00:28:38,383 --> 00:28:40,135
Are the tonsils
near the lobotom?

635
00:28:42,387 --> 00:28:43,805
Kidding, sweetie.

636
00:28:46,307 --> 00:28:49,059
Well, I for one have
to applaud dear Jesse

637
00:28:49,060 --> 00:28:50,978
for such a fabulouso dinner.

638
00:28:50,979 --> 00:28:52,146
Hear hear.

639
00:28:52,147 --> 00:28:53,313
Thank you.

640
00:28:53,314 --> 00:28:54,565
Thank you.

641
00:28:54,566 --> 00:28:56,150
Did you really whip
all this up by herself?

642
00:28:56,151 --> 00:28:58,152
Me and Marsha Stewart.

643
00:28:58,153 --> 00:29:00,320
Martha Stewart.
Isn't she great?

644
00:29:00,321 --> 00:29:02,156
Oh, you used a cookbook?

645
00:29:02,157 --> 00:29:04,658
No, there's this tape
where she cooks stuff.

646
00:29:04,659 --> 00:29:06,326
These chicken
wings were to die.

647
00:29:06,327 --> 00:29:08,495
What kind were they?

648
00:29:08,496 --> 00:29:09,997
Uh.

649
00:29:09,998 --> 00:29:11,749
Muhkayzian Style.

650
00:29:11,750 --> 00:29:13,167
Curvees is supposed
to have a great wings

651
00:29:13,168 --> 00:29:15,170
but they can't hold
a candle to yours.

652
00:29:16,171 --> 00:29:18,172
Muhkayzhian style?

653
00:29:18,173 --> 00:29:21,550
Yeah. It's some
country somewhere.

654
00:29:21,551 --> 00:29:23,844
Kind of like Malaysia?

655
00:29:23,845 --> 00:29:24,721
Yes.

656
00:29:24,722 --> 00:29:26,513
Malaysia. They love chicken.

657
00:29:26,514 --> 00:29:28,599
And what was that
green leafy stuff?

658
00:29:28,600 --> 00:29:29,768
Uh.

659
00:29:30,602 --> 00:29:31,894
Mold.

660
00:29:31,895 --> 00:29:32,936
Mold?

661
00:29:32,937 --> 00:29:33,855
Really?

662
00:29:33,856 --> 00:29:35,023
Kind of tasted like basil.

663
00:29:36,691 --> 00:29:40,694
You know, Spago uses basil
in their Malaysian wings too.

664
00:29:40,695 --> 00:29:42,362
Hm.

665
00:29:42,363 --> 00:29:44,032
Is Spago a
Malaysian restaurant?

666
00:29:45,200 --> 00:29:47,743
You know exactly
what Spago is.

667
00:29:47,744 --> 00:29:49,454
You didn't cook
all this, did you?

668
00:29:50,371 --> 00:29:51,456
I wanted to.

669
00:29:52,373 --> 00:29:54,249
That's something.

670
00:29:54,250 --> 00:29:55,542
What about dessert?

671
00:29:55,543 --> 00:29:56,877
Oh, dessert might happen.

672
00:29:56,878 --> 00:29:58,128
We'll see.

673
00:29:58,129 --> 00:30:00,214
Okay. Well I brought
some Devil's Food cake.

674
00:30:00,215 --> 00:30:02,549
You know, just in case.

675
00:30:02,550 --> 00:30:03,550
Just in case what?

676
00:30:03,551 --> 00:30:05,385
In case Jess forgot.

677
00:30:05,386 --> 00:30:07,805
But Devil's Food is
the most important part.

678
00:30:07,806 --> 00:30:08,723
Can we get back to the quiz?

679
00:30:08,723 --> 00:30:09,599
I think I'm winning.

680
00:30:09,600 --> 00:30:10,600
We're not keeping score.

681
00:30:10,601 --> 00:30:11,892
How could you be winning?

682
00:30:11,893 --> 00:30:13,894
The stuff you guys are saying.

683
00:30:13,895 --> 00:30:16,063
Your man wonders how
you look as a blonde.

684
00:30:16,064 --> 00:30:18,899
Do you, A, wonder how
he'd look as a pot roast?

685
00:30:18,900 --> 00:30:20,234
B, dye hair blonde?

686
00:30:20,235 --> 00:30:22,736
C, dye all your hair blonde?

687
00:30:22,737 --> 00:30:24,822
Oh no, no burns.

688
00:30:24,823 --> 00:30:26,240
Pot roast takes too long.

689
00:30:26,241 --> 00:30:27,616
Just shoot him.

690
00:30:27,617 --> 00:30:29,743
See, this is why I'm winning.

691
00:30:29,744 --> 00:30:31,119
You're not winning.

692
00:30:31,120 --> 00:30:32,162
You guys aren't even trying.

693
00:30:32,163 --> 00:30:33,789
I always pick the best answers.

694
00:30:33,790 --> 00:30:36,583
I'm already a blonde
and it's not helping.

695
00:30:36,584 --> 00:30:38,419
You need a blonde
attitude, honey.

696
00:30:39,420 --> 00:30:40,587
I don't even know what that is

697
00:30:40,588 --> 00:30:42,673
and already hate it.

698
00:30:42,674 --> 00:30:46,009
A blonde attitude is when
you don't care as much.

699
00:30:46,010 --> 00:30:48,512
Like, what would you do

700
00:30:48,513 --> 00:30:50,806
if somebody called
you by the wrong name?

701
00:30:50,807 --> 00:30:52,099
During sex?

702
00:30:52,100 --> 00:30:53,267
Well, duh.

703
00:30:53,268 --> 00:30:54,810
When else would you
bother with names?

704
00:30:54,811 --> 00:30:56,436
This one time, this clown
completely forgot my name.

705
00:30:56,437 --> 00:30:57,521
And I just laughed at him.

706
00:30:57,522 --> 00:30:58,814
Do you remember his name?

707
00:30:58,815 --> 00:30:59,649
Of course not.

708
00:30:59,650 --> 00:31:00,816
That's the point.

709
00:31:00,817 --> 00:31:02,025
You may not care about names,

710
00:31:02,026 --> 00:31:04,528
but you do care about
men an awful lot.

711
00:31:04,529 --> 00:31:05,988
And so do you.

712
00:31:05,989 --> 00:31:08,115
I'm trying to get
my life started.

713
00:31:08,116 --> 00:31:10,617
Yeah. So some handsome
prince will come sweep you

714
00:31:10,618 --> 00:31:13,120
off your feet and say, "How
bad are you, brainy wench?

715
00:31:13,121 --> 00:31:15,122
You want to come and
help me rule my kingdom?"

716
00:31:15,123 --> 00:31:16,373
Guys, it doesn't matter

717
00:31:16,374 --> 00:31:18,542
which one of you gets
hit on more or whatever.

718
00:31:18,543 --> 00:31:20,627
You're both beautiful.

719
00:31:20,628 --> 00:31:22,629
Hang on, Candy.

720
00:31:22,630 --> 00:31:24,882
You're the prettiest of all.

721
00:31:24,883 --> 00:31:26,133
No, I'm not.

722
00:31:26,134 --> 00:31:27,302
No, she's not.

723
00:31:28,678 --> 00:31:31,805
I mean, no thank you. I'm not.

724
00:31:31,806 --> 00:31:33,223
Ow.

725
00:31:33,224 --> 00:31:34,808
No, I'm not...

726
00:31:34,809 --> 00:31:37,144
I didn't mean that
you're not pretty.

727
00:31:37,145 --> 00:31:39,187
Then what did you mean?

728
00:31:39,188 --> 00:31:42,065
I just mean she's
not the prettiest.

729
00:31:42,066 --> 00:31:43,650
And you are?

730
00:31:43,651 --> 00:31:45,652
I go out way
more than you two.

731
00:31:45,653 --> 00:31:47,487
Ever work at Curvees.

732
00:31:47,488 --> 00:31:49,239
Is that an accomplishment?

733
00:31:49,240 --> 00:31:50,657
It kind of was for me.

734
00:31:50,658 --> 00:31:53,410
Jess, how good do
you look in tiny shorts

735
00:31:53,411 --> 00:31:54,828
and clingy T-shirts?

736
00:31:54,829 --> 00:31:56,330
Pretty damn good.

737
00:31:56,331 --> 00:31:57,665
It's just not my style.

738
00:31:59,000 --> 00:32:00,584
You guys, we're arguing about
which one of us is prettier.

739
00:32:00,585 --> 00:32:02,002
How silly is that?

740
00:32:02,003 --> 00:32:03,420
Well, beauty is important.

741
00:32:03,421 --> 00:32:04,880
Pretty people make more money.

742
00:32:04,881 --> 00:32:07,424
And my salary
continues to accrue.

743
00:32:07,425 --> 00:32:08,759
Where do you work?

744
00:32:08,760 --> 00:32:09,885
Grouchy Bird?

745
00:32:09,886 --> 00:32:11,386
Barking Parrot.

746
00:32:11,387 --> 00:32:13,348
And what does
Barking Parrot do?

747
00:32:14,682 --> 00:32:15,891
Development.

748
00:32:15,892 --> 00:32:17,517
Of what?

749
00:32:17,518 --> 00:32:19,227
Properties.

750
00:32:19,228 --> 00:32:20,687
Real estate?

751
00:32:20,688 --> 00:32:22,689
Some. I think.

752
00:32:22,690 --> 00:32:23,899
Real estate?

753
00:32:23,900 --> 00:32:25,525
You never mentioned that before.

754
00:32:25,526 --> 00:32:28,278
I thought your company
did stuff for the movies.

755
00:32:28,279 --> 00:32:29,529
I know.

756
00:32:29,530 --> 00:32:33,033
We develop literary
properties. I think.

757
00:32:33,034 --> 00:32:35,369
You write TV shows and stuff?

758
00:32:35,370 --> 00:32:37,204
No. No we don't write them.

759
00:32:37,205 --> 00:32:39,539
We develop them. I think.

760
00:32:39,540 --> 00:32:42,042
What exactly do you do?

761
00:32:42,043 --> 00:32:43,627
Oh, I'm the receptionist.

762
00:32:43,628 --> 00:32:44,878
I send emails.

763
00:32:44,879 --> 00:32:45,879
I make phone calls.

764
00:32:45,880 --> 00:32:46,714
I print stuff.

765
00:32:46,715 --> 00:32:47,715
I'm very busy.

766
00:32:47,716 --> 00:32:49,216
And what do the emails say?

767
00:32:49,217 --> 00:32:50,717
And the phone calls?

768
00:32:50,718 --> 00:32:51,718
Development.

769
00:32:53,638 --> 00:32:55,055
Oh no. I know.

770
00:32:55,056 --> 00:32:57,391
I know. We develop film.

771
00:32:57,392 --> 00:32:58,226
Right.

772
00:32:58,226 --> 00:32:59,143
Movies.

773
00:32:59,144 --> 00:33:00,644
No, no, no, no.

774
00:33:00,645 --> 00:33:02,938
We actually develop actual
film for the actual movies.

775
00:33:02,939 --> 00:33:05,399
Like, like with
chemicals and stuff.

776
00:33:05,400 --> 00:33:07,275
Oh this is going to help
me do my job better.

777
00:33:07,276 --> 00:33:08,276
Oh no.

778
00:33:25,253 --> 00:33:26,253
All better.

779
00:33:30,591 --> 00:33:31,842
Was it something you ate?

780
00:33:31,843 --> 00:33:32,843
Ew.

781
00:33:43,604 --> 00:33:45,356
I'll be fine in a second.

782
00:33:47,608 --> 00:33:50,944
Okay. Now back to me. I'm
a really good receptionist.

783
00:33:50,945 --> 00:33:52,612
I'm, I'm really good at my job.

784
00:33:52,613 --> 00:33:54,114
I make a lot of money.

785
00:33:54,115 --> 00:33:56,366
And I'm so sick and tired
of people telling me

786
00:33:56,367 --> 00:33:58,535
that I'm too stupid to
move up in the company.

787
00:33:58,536 --> 00:34:00,871
I just don't want to move up.

788
00:34:00,872 --> 00:34:03,290
Can we focus on
Candy for a bit?

789
00:34:03,291 --> 00:34:04,791
Oh, yeah.

790
00:34:04,792 --> 00:34:05,792
I can do that.

791
00:34:06,627 --> 00:34:09,130
So, Candy,

792
00:34:11,507 --> 00:34:12,300
your weight-

793
00:34:12,301 --> 00:34:13,301
- Jessica!

794
00:34:13,302 --> 00:34:15,135
What? It's not about me.

795
00:34:15,136 --> 00:34:16,803
I know this really great diet.

796
00:34:16,804 --> 00:34:18,848
There is nothing
wrong with her weight.

797
00:34:19,807 --> 00:34:20,975
There will be.

798
00:34:23,311 --> 00:34:24,644
Oh my God.

799
00:34:24,645 --> 00:34:25,645
You're pregnant?

800
00:34:26,647 --> 00:34:28,315
She's not pregnant, silly.

801
00:34:28,316 --> 00:34:30,025
She just has an eating disorder.

802
00:34:30,026 --> 00:34:31,485
I know this really
great therapist.

803
00:34:31,486 --> 00:34:32,986
No, you guys.

804
00:34:32,987 --> 00:34:34,322
I am pregnant.

805
00:34:36,491 --> 00:34:38,241
Who's the father?

806
00:34:38,242 --> 00:34:39,160
The father?

807
00:34:39,161 --> 00:34:41,036
I mean, usually there is one.

808
00:34:41,037 --> 00:34:41,829
Give her a break.

809
00:34:41,830 --> 00:34:43,330
She obviously forgot.

810
00:34:43,331 --> 00:34:44,664
I didn't forget.

811
00:34:44,665 --> 00:34:46,416
Well have you at
least narrowed it down?

812
00:34:46,417 --> 00:34:47,667
Ew.

813
00:34:47,668 --> 00:34:49,044
Is it someone we
know? Is he cute?

814
00:34:49,045 --> 00:34:50,421
No, you guys.

815
00:34:51,339 --> 00:34:52,380
Oh my God. He's married.

816
00:34:52,381 --> 00:34:53,381
No.

817
00:34:54,050 --> 00:34:55,009
Oh.

818
00:34:55,010 --> 00:34:58,178
Was it R-A-P-E?

819
00:34:58,179 --> 00:34:59,679
No, I wasn't raped.

820
00:34:59,680 --> 00:35:01,681
You guys, I'm just pregnant.

821
00:35:01,682 --> 00:35:03,016
Honey, I'm so sorry.

822
00:35:03,017 --> 00:35:04,101
Sorry?

823
00:35:04,102 --> 00:35:05,685
This cost me a bunch of money.

824
00:35:05,686 --> 00:35:07,438
And you're still pregnant?

825
00:35:09,190 --> 00:35:10,857
I know this really
great abortionist.

826
00:35:10,858 --> 00:35:12,859
It's a test tube baby.

827
00:35:12,860 --> 00:35:15,362
Wait, you got insinuated?

828
00:35:15,363 --> 00:35:16,863
Inseminated.

829
00:35:16,864 --> 00:35:18,198
You went to one of
those sperm banks?

830
00:35:18,199 --> 00:35:20,575
Do you know what kind
of perverts go to those?

831
00:35:20,576 --> 00:35:23,537
Healthy, educated perverts.

832
00:35:23,538 --> 00:35:25,747
I hear some are homo sapiens

833
00:35:25,748 --> 00:35:28,917
and a few practicing
heterosexuals.

834
00:35:28,918 --> 00:35:30,210
Yuck.

835
00:35:30,211 --> 00:35:32,380
You let one of those
father your baby?

836
00:35:34,924 --> 00:35:36,883
Picking out the
father of your child

837
00:35:36,884 --> 00:35:39,719
from just a photo
probably sounds crazy.

838
00:35:39,720 --> 00:35:43,306
But nowadays women use phone
apps to find a boyfriend.

839
00:35:43,307 --> 00:35:45,434
Have things really
changed that much?

840
00:35:48,604 --> 00:35:52,399
Ah yup. Yup. 1000 on
Jim Dandy and the fifth.

841
00:35:52,400 --> 00:35:53,942
Thanks, Tony.

842
00:35:53,943 --> 00:35:56,069
Hi. Welcome, Candy.

843
00:35:56,070 --> 00:35:57,571
Hi.

844
00:35:57,572 --> 00:35:58,447
Please sit.

845
00:35:58,448 --> 00:36:02,075
So here is the catalog.

846
00:36:02,076 --> 00:36:03,660
Oh, okay.

847
00:36:03,661 --> 00:36:05,120
Take a look.

848
00:36:05,121 --> 00:36:06,454
See anything you like?

849
00:36:06,455 --> 00:36:08,165
It's kind of overwhelming.

850
00:36:08,166 --> 00:36:09,499
Ooh.

851
00:36:09,500 --> 00:36:10,834
Have fun with it.

852
00:36:10,835 --> 00:36:12,253
Like it's Christmas morning.

853
00:36:13,421 --> 00:36:15,422
Are any of these
guys serial killers?

854
00:36:15,423 --> 00:36:16,673
No.

855
00:36:16,674 --> 00:36:18,074
No. We keep those
in another binder.

856
00:36:18,759 --> 00:36:20,136
No I'm kidding.

857
00:36:21,512 --> 00:36:24,806
We screen all our clients,
most of our clients.

858
00:36:24,807 --> 00:36:26,349
But you got that in
the, in the pamphlet

859
00:36:26,350 --> 00:36:28,018
that came in the mail.

860
00:36:28,019 --> 00:36:29,019
I'm just-

861
00:36:29,937 --> 00:36:31,688
- A little nervous?

862
00:36:31,689 --> 00:36:32,689
I understand.

863
00:36:33,774 --> 00:36:35,442
Tell you what? Try this.

864
00:36:35,443 --> 00:36:37,277
I want you to close your eyes.

865
00:36:37,278 --> 00:36:42,283
Okay. Now you're you're in a
dark room and you hear a voice.

866
00:36:44,452 --> 00:36:46,036
Sweetheart, can we
get another pitcher

867
00:36:46,037 --> 00:36:47,787
and an order of wings.

868
00:36:47,788 --> 00:36:50,665
No, not a, not a work voice.

869
00:36:50,666 --> 00:36:52,709
This is the voice of your child.

870
00:36:52,710 --> 00:36:54,962
Okay? Try to hear that voice.

871
00:36:55,796 --> 00:36:57,882
Now. Try to see your child.

872
00:36:59,300 --> 00:37:00,468
Can you see your child?

873
00:37:01,844 --> 00:37:02,678
Mm-hm.

874
00:37:02,678 --> 00:37:03,512
Okay.

875
00:37:03,513 --> 00:37:04,971
Boy or girl?

876
00:37:04,972 --> 00:37:05,848
A little girl.

877
00:37:05,849 --> 00:37:07,057
Hi, Beanie.

878
00:37:07,058 --> 00:37:08,850
God, she's beautiful.

879
00:37:08,851 --> 00:37:10,185
Um, Beanie?

880
00:37:10,186 --> 00:37:12,145
Oh, that's what I'm
calling her right now.

881
00:37:12,146 --> 00:37:13,396
Beanie Baby.

882
00:37:13,397 --> 00:37:14,481
Okay.

883
00:37:14,482 --> 00:37:16,192
Well, now open your eyes.

884
00:37:18,361 --> 00:37:19,819
Take a look at the
men in that book

885
00:37:19,820 --> 00:37:22,490
and just choose the one
that reminds you of Beanie.

886
00:37:25,493 --> 00:37:28,329
Uh. Imagine picking a life
partner out of a catalog.

887
00:37:29,830 --> 00:37:32,165
Well, that's the good
thing about this process.

888
00:37:32,166 --> 00:37:33,583
You don't have a life partner.

889
00:37:33,584 --> 00:37:35,168
Just their sperm.

890
00:37:35,169 --> 00:37:36,753
They won't break a date

891
00:37:36,754 --> 00:37:39,507
or break your heart or
spend all your money.

892
00:37:41,008 --> 00:37:43,843
It's just going to be you, and
their sperm, and Beanie Bag.

893
00:37:43,844 --> 00:37:45,179
Erm, Beanie.

894
00:37:46,514 --> 00:37:49,849
Hey, can I get two donors
and mix them up in a test tube?

895
00:37:49,850 --> 00:37:52,603
Kind of like a little sperm
competition for my eggs.

896
00:37:54,021 --> 00:37:55,021
Erm, why would
you want to do that?

897
00:37:55,022 --> 00:37:57,107
Hmm, they're just all so cute.

898
00:37:57,108 --> 00:37:58,733
I can't pick.

899
00:37:58,734 --> 00:38:00,235
Hey.

900
00:38:00,236 --> 00:38:01,070
Sure.

901
00:38:01,071 --> 00:38:02,195
Why not?

902
00:38:02,196 --> 00:38:03,030
I'll tell you what.

903
00:38:03,031 --> 00:38:04,864
This week, for you,

904
00:38:04,865 --> 00:38:07,534
all specimens are
Buy-One-Get-One-Half-Off.

905
00:38:07,535 --> 00:38:10,537
Even throw you a little test
tube baby party if you want.

906
00:38:10,538 --> 00:38:12,539
Is your work guaranteed?

907
00:38:12,540 --> 00:38:14,040
If the process doesn't
work the first time,

908
00:38:14,041 --> 00:38:15,709
we just keep trying.

909
00:38:15,710 --> 00:38:17,878
In fact, we can try it today.

910
00:38:18,713 --> 00:38:19,922
Get pregnant today?

911
00:38:22,717 --> 00:38:24,051
But I'm not dressed for it.

912
00:38:27,388 --> 00:38:28,597
Uh, excuse me.

913
00:38:29,890 --> 00:38:31,558
Hello? Bundles of Joy Labs.

914
00:38:31,559 --> 00:38:33,810
We deliver so you can too.

915
00:38:33,811 --> 00:38:34,811
Oh, Margaret.

916
00:38:34,812 --> 00:38:35,646
How are you?

917
00:38:35,647 --> 00:38:37,480
How are the twins?

918
00:38:37,481 --> 00:38:38,481
Really?

919
00:38:39,400 --> 00:38:40,400
Barking?

920
00:38:41,569 --> 00:38:43,236
Hold on one second.

921
00:38:43,237 --> 00:38:45,740
Just let me know when you
want to make your baby.

922
00:38:47,074 --> 00:38:48,326
Both of them are barking?

923
00:38:51,746 --> 00:38:55,081
Okay. Just promise
me one thing.

924
00:38:55,082 --> 00:38:56,583
If you ever find yourself

925
00:38:56,584 --> 00:38:59,085
in a conversation like the
one you're about to hear,

926
00:38:59,086 --> 00:39:00,253
shut it down,

927
00:39:00,254 --> 00:39:03,006
call the police, order a pizza,

928
00:39:03,007 --> 00:39:04,759
or just get the
hell out of there.

929
00:39:07,261 --> 00:39:09,929
I think having a child
on your own is wonderful.

930
00:39:09,930 --> 00:39:10,806
You do.

931
00:39:10,806 --> 00:39:11,640
You do?

932
00:39:11,641 --> 00:39:12,849
Don't you?

933
00:39:12,850 --> 00:39:15,101
Just buy a dog.

934
00:39:15,102 --> 00:39:16,353
When are you due?

935
00:39:16,354 --> 00:39:17,604
Six months.

936
00:39:17,605 --> 00:39:19,481
Okay. Well, we;ll have
to throw you a shower.

937
00:39:19,482 --> 00:39:20,774
No.

938
00:39:20,775 --> 00:39:22,025
No, people will think
I've been abandoned

939
00:39:22,026 --> 00:39:23,318
and feel sorry for me.

940
00:39:23,319 --> 00:39:24,694
I feel sorry for.

941
00:39:24,695 --> 00:39:26,696
No, we can put
on the invitation,

942
00:39:26,697 --> 00:39:29,699
"This baby is actually wanted."

943
00:39:29,700 --> 00:39:32,118
You know, you deserve a party.

944
00:39:32,119 --> 00:39:33,620
Thank you, Jess.

945
00:39:33,621 --> 00:39:34,954
I mean your life
is about to be over.

946
00:39:34,955 --> 00:39:36,998
So might as well laugh
it up while you can.

947
00:39:36,999 --> 00:39:39,626
Forget about having a
penny to spend on yourself.

948
00:39:39,627 --> 00:39:41,127
No free time.

949
00:39:41,128 --> 00:39:42,670
And the only kind of guys
that are going to be into you

950
00:39:42,671 --> 00:39:44,464
are the creepo fetish types.

951
00:39:44,465 --> 00:39:46,508
You think I haven't
thought of all that stuff?

952
00:39:46,509 --> 00:39:48,551
Well, are you ready for it?

953
00:39:48,552 --> 00:39:49,552
No.

954
00:39:49,553 --> 00:39:50,388
Will you be?

955
00:39:50,389 --> 00:39:52,305
In six months?

956
00:39:52,306 --> 00:39:53,556
Probably not.

957
00:39:53,557 --> 00:39:55,642
Then what business
do you have doing it?

958
00:39:55,643 --> 00:39:57,811
A baby is not a business.

959
00:39:57,812 --> 00:40:00,146
Why don't you just
poke a hole in a condom?

960
00:40:00,147 --> 00:40:01,564
Why don't you
just get married?

961
00:40:01,565 --> 00:40:03,983
No, no. You two are
not going to make me

962
00:40:03,984 --> 00:40:05,402
feel bad about this.

963
00:40:05,403 --> 00:40:08,823
It's a good decision, and I'm
going to have a good baby.

964
00:40:10,199 --> 00:40:11,242
Did I say that right?

965
00:40:14,537 --> 00:40:16,414
I'm going to
squeeze you to pieces.

966
00:40:24,380 --> 00:40:25,589
I could babysit.

967
00:40:27,508 --> 00:40:29,092
What?

968
00:40:29,093 --> 00:40:30,677
Okay. You keep
her walking around

969
00:40:30,678 --> 00:40:32,095
while I call 911.

970
00:40:32,096 --> 00:40:34,347
Obviously Friday
Saturday and Sunday nights

971
00:40:34,348 --> 00:40:35,765
are out of the question.

972
00:40:35,766 --> 00:40:38,351
Okay, she's coming out of it.

973
00:40:38,352 --> 00:40:40,604
I don't hear you
offering to babysit.

974
00:40:42,398 --> 00:40:44,023
I could.

975
00:40:44,024 --> 00:40:45,526
You two would do that for me?

976
00:40:47,027 --> 00:40:50,030
The three of us could raise
a baby better than any couple.

977
00:40:51,240 --> 00:40:54,200
I only offered to babysit.

978
00:40:54,201 --> 00:40:55,536
No. Think about it.

979
00:40:56,704 --> 00:41:00,040
Together we make
up the ideal woman.

980
00:41:01,709 --> 00:41:04,711
Beauty, brains and personality.

981
00:41:04,712 --> 00:41:08,214
An ideal woman is only
made up of three things?

982
00:41:08,215 --> 00:41:09,466
I get it.

983
00:41:09,467 --> 00:41:11,134
Each of our strengths
fills in the weakness

984
00:41:11,135 --> 00:41:14,262
of the other two. Like the
three witches and Macbeth.

985
00:41:14,263 --> 00:41:16,389
I don't see foreign films.

986
00:41:16,390 --> 00:41:17,599
Anyway, what's so
good about a witch?

987
00:41:17,600 --> 00:41:19,267
They have bad skin
and facial hair.

988
00:41:19,268 --> 00:41:22,562
They're strong, smart, in
control their own destiny.

989
00:41:22,563 --> 00:41:25,899
Yeah, yeah. Look,
Lynette is the brains,

990
00:41:25,900 --> 00:41:27,984
you're the personality,

991
00:41:27,985 --> 00:41:29,278
and I'm the beauty.

992
00:41:33,908 --> 00:41:36,409
I'm going to start
cleaning up the dishes now.

993
00:41:36,410 --> 00:41:38,829
Don't leave me alone with her.

994
00:41:40,247 --> 00:41:42,624
What? It's not like
I'm saying something bad.

995
00:41:42,625 --> 00:41:43,791
Candy has personality.

996
00:41:43,792 --> 00:41:45,293
Everybody loves her.

997
00:41:45,294 --> 00:41:48,254
And you, your school
thing. You're all smart me.

998
00:41:48,255 --> 00:41:53,260
Me, I get complimented
a lot, and noticed a lot,

999
00:41:54,512 --> 00:41:56,179
hit on a lot.

1000
00:41:56,180 --> 00:41:58,431
Doesn't mean anything.

1001
00:41:58,432 --> 00:42:00,433
I get laid, okay?

1002
00:42:00,434 --> 00:42:01,601
A lot.

1003
00:42:01,602 --> 00:42:04,020
Whenever I want.
By whoever I want.

1004
00:42:04,021 --> 00:42:07,774
And meanwhile, you study
and Candy knits, I guess.

1005
00:42:07,775 --> 00:42:09,192
That doesn't mean that you're-

1006
00:42:09,193 --> 00:42:10,861
- Let's change the subject.

1007
00:42:11,820 --> 00:42:12,780
I'm sorry.

1008
00:42:12,780 --> 00:42:13,614
I don't know what to say.

1009
00:42:13,615 --> 00:42:15,281
I'm so upset right now.

1010
00:42:15,282 --> 00:42:18,201
You don't really mean
all this, do you, Jess?

1011
00:42:18,202 --> 00:42:19,119
Sure I do.

1012
00:42:19,120 --> 00:42:20,328
Oh my God.

1013
00:42:20,329 --> 00:42:21,496
It's like a monkey
playing with dynamite.

1014
00:42:21,497 --> 00:42:22,789
It's a compliment!

1015
00:42:22,790 --> 00:42:24,457
What? Saying that
you're prettier than us.

1016
00:42:24,458 --> 00:42:25,667
That's a compliment?

1017
00:42:25,668 --> 00:42:28,795
No, I'm saying that
you're smarter than us

1018
00:42:28,796 --> 00:42:32,298
and that Candy has more
personality than us.

1019
00:42:32,299 --> 00:42:35,301
But you don't care about
brains or personality.

1020
00:42:35,302 --> 00:42:36,803
Oh, obviously I
don't need them.

1021
00:42:36,804 --> 00:42:38,138
But where would you two be?

1022
00:42:42,476 --> 00:42:46,980
Candy, you told us that
you teach stuff at the "Y".

1023
00:42:46,981 --> 00:42:50,191
And there's things on your
wall that you knitted.

1024
00:42:50,192 --> 00:42:52,151
That's insane.

1025
00:42:52,152 --> 00:42:54,696
And now with your
whole baby thing,

1026
00:42:54,697 --> 00:42:57,156
if you want a guy
that wants children,

1027
00:42:57,157 --> 00:42:58,701
you just show him yours.

1028
00:42:59,868 --> 00:43:03,580
And Lynette, you
want a smart guy.

1029
00:43:03,581 --> 00:43:05,582
Where else are you
going to find one

1030
00:43:05,583 --> 00:43:09,002
than at a college
for smart people?

1031
00:43:09,003 --> 00:43:11,170
Brains aren't everything.

1032
00:43:11,171 --> 00:43:12,672
If you really thought that

1033
00:43:12,673 --> 00:43:14,507
then why didn't you marry
Billy from the hardware store?

1034
00:43:14,508 --> 00:43:15,426
Bobby.

1035
00:43:15,427 --> 00:43:17,510
Because I didn't want to.

1036
00:43:17,511 --> 00:43:20,513
No, because he worked
at a dumb hardware store.

1037
00:43:20,514 --> 00:43:22,682
No, because he
called himself Bobby.

1038
00:43:22,683 --> 00:43:25,019
Oh, you thought
it was a cute name.

1039
00:43:26,687 --> 00:43:28,855
What kind of man
do you want, Jess?

1040
00:43:28,856 --> 00:43:30,356
Rich. What else?

1041
00:43:30,357 --> 00:43:33,901
Then why do you only
date gorgeous men?

1042
00:43:33,902 --> 00:43:35,778
Oh, the gorgeous are much
more likely to be rich.

1043
00:43:35,779 --> 00:43:37,030
Ask Darwin.

1044
00:43:37,031 --> 00:43:39,198
I actually heard
that on the news.

1045
00:43:39,199 --> 00:43:41,576
Also, more of us are famous.

1046
00:43:41,577 --> 00:43:43,244
Us?

1047
00:43:43,245 --> 00:43:45,371
Us gorgeous people?

1048
00:43:45,372 --> 00:43:46,539
Okay.

1049
00:43:46,540 --> 00:43:47,707
We.

1050
00:43:47,708 --> 00:43:48,958
We gorgeous people.

1051
00:43:48,959 --> 00:43:50,209
Are you satisfied?

1052
00:43:50,210 --> 00:43:51,961
Not until you apologize.

1053
00:43:51,962 --> 00:43:53,379
For what?

1054
00:43:53,380 --> 00:43:54,548
Saying we're ugly.

1055
00:43:55,716 --> 00:43:56,925
Oh my God. What's that?

1056
00:44:00,054 --> 00:44:01,889
Don't you know?
It's your kitchen.

1057
00:44:04,892 --> 00:44:07,101
Something
in your oven is on fire!

1058
00:44:07,102 --> 00:44:09,396
Oh. That? Don't
worry about that.

1059
00:44:16,904 --> 00:44:17,905
What are you doing?

1060
00:44:19,907 --> 00:44:20,907
I'm going to go.

1061
00:44:21,742 --> 00:44:22,576
What's this?

1062
00:44:22,577 --> 00:44:24,243
Nothing.

1063
00:44:24,244 --> 00:44:25,244
Jess,

1064
00:44:26,955 --> 00:44:27,831
did you us a-

1065
00:44:27,831 --> 00:44:28,666
- No!

1066
00:44:28,667 --> 00:44:29,916
Are you kidding?

1067
00:44:29,917 --> 00:44:31,417
I don't even know
where that came from.

1068
00:44:31,418 --> 00:44:34,420
Okay. Well tell Lynnie
I'm sorry but I gotta go.

1069
00:44:34,421 --> 00:44:36,507
Tell her to call me later.

1070
00:44:50,521 --> 00:44:51,855
What did you burn?

1071
00:44:53,357 --> 00:44:54,942
Nothing. It's nothing.

1072
00:44:55,776 --> 00:44:56,943
Leave it alone.

1073
00:44:56,944 --> 00:44:58,319
Candy left.

1074
00:44:58,320 --> 00:44:59,320
What did she say?

1075
00:45:00,698 --> 00:45:02,950
She said that she wanted
to leave before you got back.

1076
00:45:04,368 --> 00:45:05,368
Oh God.

1077
00:45:06,120 --> 00:45:07,286
Should I call her?

1078
00:45:07,287 --> 00:45:10,791
No. You should
probably leave too.

1079
00:45:13,877 --> 00:45:15,045
Okay. Fine.

1080
00:45:15,963 --> 00:45:17,464
Good night.

1081
00:45:24,304 --> 00:45:26,140
Thank you for
ruining everything!

1082
00:45:31,478 --> 00:45:33,646
Lynette and Candy
stayed busy, of course.

1083
00:45:33,647 --> 00:45:35,148
They lived in an exciting city,

1084
00:45:35,149 --> 00:45:37,484
and they found lots of
new ways to explore it.

1085
00:45:38,569 --> 00:45:41,321
But sometimes is it just
more fun with three?

1086
00:45:42,656 --> 00:45:43,699
I don't know.

1087
00:47:18,252 --> 00:47:19,252
That's a terrific title

1088
00:47:19,253 --> 00:47:20,628
for your dissertation, Lynette.

1089
00:47:20,629 --> 00:47:21,629
Yay.

1090
00:47:22,422 --> 00:47:24,298
But you were finished.

1091
00:47:24,299 --> 00:47:25,925
What made you
suddenly change it?

1092
00:47:25,926 --> 00:47:27,176
You said yourself

1093
00:47:27,177 --> 00:47:29,262
that the original title
lacked a point of view.

1094
00:47:29,263 --> 00:47:31,931
Yeah. You, you went from a

1095
00:47:31,932 --> 00:47:35,434
"Classical Versus Modern
Perceptions of Femininity"

1096
00:47:35,435 --> 00:47:37,688
to "Why Beauty Kills".

1097
00:47:38,939 --> 00:47:40,773
Definitely have a
point of view now.

1098
00:47:40,774 --> 00:47:42,650
Somethings that
have happened recently

1099
00:47:42,651 --> 00:47:45,444
gave me a new passion
for the topic.

1100
00:47:45,445 --> 00:47:46,780
Oh, I know.

1101
00:47:47,990 --> 00:47:49,532
You know what?

1102
00:47:49,533 --> 00:47:51,617
Oh, I figured something
must have happened.

1103
00:47:51,618 --> 00:47:54,328
You missed your last
three therapy sessions.

1104
00:47:54,329 --> 00:47:55,705
I know, Dr.
Stroman. I'm so sorry.

1105
00:47:55,706 --> 00:47:58,791
I've just been working
so hard on this.

1106
00:47:58,792 --> 00:48:01,127
No. It's okay. It paid off.

1107
00:48:01,128 --> 00:48:02,461
It's a good read.

1108
00:48:02,462 --> 00:48:03,297
It's riveting.

1109
00:48:03,297 --> 00:48:04,131
Really?

1110
00:48:04,132 --> 00:48:05,298
Mm-hm.

1111
00:48:05,299 --> 00:48:06,674
I didn't think
you had it in you.

1112
00:48:06,675 --> 00:48:08,175
You didn't?

1113
00:48:08,176 --> 00:48:10,636
Oh, well maybe that wasn't
the best choice of words. But-

1114
00:48:10,637 --> 00:48:13,389
- No one's ever called my
writing riveting before.

1115
00:48:13,390 --> 00:48:15,182
You're still
missing one thing.

1116
00:48:15,183 --> 00:48:17,518
I followed all the
guidelines to the letter-

1117
00:48:17,519 --> 00:48:18,896
- You are missing, Lynette.

1118
00:48:20,480 --> 00:48:21,898
True.

1119
00:48:21,899 --> 00:48:23,900
There's more of you in this
draft in another drafts,

1120
00:48:23,901 --> 00:48:25,986
but you don't have a
lot of skin in the game.

1121
00:48:27,237 --> 00:48:28,238
What do you mean?

1122
00:48:30,157 --> 00:48:31,658
"Why Beauty Kills"? Right?

1123
00:48:34,536 --> 00:48:37,204
"Perceptions of beauty have
varied widely throughout history

1124
00:48:37,205 --> 00:48:39,749
and have served to maintain
a lowered social status

1125
00:48:39,750 --> 00:48:42,835
among certain groups of women
who were blah blah blah blah."

1126
00:48:42,836 --> 00:48:43,878
But it's all true.

1127
00:48:43,879 --> 00:48:45,004
Blah blah blah.

1128
00:48:45,005 --> 00:48:45,839
That's all true!

1129
00:48:45,840 --> 00:48:47,006
I know that.

1130
00:48:47,007 --> 00:48:48,549
I'm quite certain
that every fact,

1131
00:48:48,550 --> 00:48:50,927
and every figure, and every
graph, and chart, and quote,

1132
00:48:50,928 --> 00:48:53,346
and cross-reference
is beyond reproach.

1133
00:48:53,347 --> 00:48:54,847
Yes. Thank you.

1134
00:48:54,848 --> 00:48:56,933
But you need to
do one more thing.

1135
00:48:56,934 --> 00:48:57,934
Okay.

1136
00:48:58,685 --> 00:48:59,685
What?

1137
00:49:01,021 --> 00:49:02,522
I haven't the slightest.

1138
00:49:04,441 --> 00:49:07,027
This topic isn't about me.

1139
00:49:08,195 --> 00:49:09,529
Beauty doesn't kill men.

1140
00:49:10,906 --> 00:49:15,368
As a whole, this is not what
resonates in a man's gut.

1141
00:49:15,369 --> 00:49:18,871
I know. I just wish
you guys understood.

1142
00:49:18,872 --> 00:49:20,957
It's so hard to
make men understand

1143
00:49:20,958 --> 00:49:22,083
what it's like to actually be-

1144
00:49:22,084 --> 00:49:23,292
- Make us understand!

1145
00:49:23,293 --> 00:49:24,752
Show us.

1146
00:49:24,753 --> 00:49:28,047
Do something that scares
you and then write about it.

1147
00:49:28,048 --> 00:49:29,715
Something that scares me?

1148
00:49:29,716 --> 00:49:31,717
I don't mean
anything dangerous.

1149
00:49:31,718 --> 00:49:33,219
So what?

1150
00:49:33,220 --> 00:49:35,806
Like, enter a tacky beauty
pageant or something?

1151
00:49:36,723 --> 00:49:37,765
Sure. Why not?

1152
00:49:37,766 --> 00:49:39,392
I think that might take too long

1153
00:49:39,393 --> 00:49:41,060
but you're on the right road.

1154
00:49:41,061 --> 00:49:42,728
A wet T-shirt contest?

1155
00:49:42,729 --> 00:49:45,148
No, I wouldn't win. Nevermind.

1156
00:49:46,566 --> 00:49:48,943
I'm not going to advise
you to do that, okay?

1157
00:49:48,944 --> 00:49:50,736
Get my picture taken?

1158
00:49:50,737 --> 00:49:52,321
Exactly.

1159
00:49:52,322 --> 00:49:53,573
Pose for a photographer.

1160
00:49:54,741 --> 00:49:56,742
You don't have to
spend a lot of money.

1161
00:49:56,743 --> 00:49:58,829
Actually I know a guy.

1162
00:50:08,588 --> 00:50:09,672
You must be Lynette.

1163
00:50:09,673 --> 00:50:13,009
And you must be stunning.

1164
00:50:13,010 --> 00:50:13,927
I'm Gianna,

1165
00:50:13,928 --> 00:50:15,177
Ron's assistant.

1166
00:50:15,178 --> 00:50:16,471
I'll be helping you today.

1167
00:50:17,639 --> 00:50:19,598
Um. I tried to
take a crack at it

1168
00:50:19,599 --> 00:50:20,851
as you can see.

1169
00:50:22,769 --> 00:50:25,438
Oh, aren't you adventurous?

1170
00:50:25,439 --> 00:50:28,358
If anyone should be in
front of the camera, it's you.

1171
00:50:29,443 --> 00:50:30,610
Lindsey!

1172
00:50:45,792 --> 00:50:47,043
Lynette!

1173
00:50:47,044 --> 00:50:48,045
So glad you made it.

1174
00:50:49,296 --> 00:50:50,630
What made you change your mind?

1175
00:50:55,177 --> 00:50:56,803
I still might change it.

1176
00:50:57,888 --> 00:50:59,806
Whatever you're
most comfortable with.

1177
00:51:00,807 --> 00:51:01,974
These.

1178
00:51:01,975 --> 00:51:04,018
I'm comfortable with these.

1179
00:51:04,019 --> 00:51:05,728
Outfits!

1180
00:51:05,729 --> 00:51:06,729
Great.

1181
00:51:09,149 --> 00:51:10,316
Show me what you got.

1182
00:51:10,317 --> 00:51:11,859
Okay. So I've got brown.

1183
00:51:11,860 --> 00:51:14,153
I've got reddish
brown, brownish red,

1184
00:51:14,154 --> 00:51:15,654
beige, I have brown.

1185
00:51:15,655 --> 00:51:16,989
I have reddish browns. I have-

1186
00:51:16,990 --> 00:51:19,492
- Nah, nah. I don't see
those colors in you.

1187
00:51:19,493 --> 00:51:20,701
I could be gray.

1188
00:51:20,702 --> 00:51:22,328
You never answered my question.

1189
00:51:22,329 --> 00:51:23,163
Oh.

1190
00:51:23,163 --> 00:51:23,997
No tattoos.

1191
00:51:23,998 --> 00:51:25,498
I never had the guts.

1192
00:51:25,499 --> 00:51:26,665
Not that.

1193
00:51:26,666 --> 00:51:28,667
What made you change your mind?

1194
00:51:28,668 --> 00:51:31,170
About coming here?

1195
00:51:31,171 --> 00:51:33,672
I asked you, I don't
know how many times.

1196
00:51:33,673 --> 00:51:35,049
And you've always told me no.

1197
00:51:35,050 --> 00:51:37,676
And suddenly here you are.

1198
00:51:37,677 --> 00:51:38,677
There I am.

1199
00:51:38,678 --> 00:51:40,513
Here I are. Am.

1200
00:51:40,514 --> 00:51:41,348
Yes.

1201
00:51:41,349 --> 00:51:43,099
So blue.

1202
00:51:43,100 --> 00:51:44,391
I like blue.

1203
00:51:44,392 --> 00:51:46,852
Blue would look
very nice on you.

1204
00:51:46,853 --> 00:51:48,771
Or off of me.

1205
00:51:48,772 --> 00:51:50,523
When I first saw you,

1206
00:51:50,524 --> 00:51:53,526
I thought, "I gotta
get this girl on film."

1207
00:51:53,527 --> 00:51:54,527
Oh.

1208
00:51:55,237 --> 00:51:56,695
But there's no rush.

1209
00:51:56,696 --> 00:51:58,697
We don't even have to do this.

1210
00:51:58,698 --> 00:51:59,698
Do what?

1211
00:51:59,699 --> 00:52:00,700
Go all the way.

1212
00:52:02,119 --> 00:52:05,872
If you want it, you
can keep your clothes on.

1213
00:52:08,542 --> 00:52:10,418
What if I don't want?

1214
00:52:11,461 --> 00:52:12,461
Gi.

1215
00:52:16,216 --> 00:52:17,634
I'm going to load up my gear.

1216
00:52:20,428 --> 00:52:24,724
So Lynette, let's start
with shades of blue.

1217
00:52:26,226 --> 00:52:28,145
Load up his gear?

1218
00:52:29,229 --> 00:52:30,564
Put film in his camera.

1219
00:52:33,400 --> 00:52:34,733
Or?

1220
00:52:34,734 --> 00:52:37,278
Put batteries in
his flash units.

1221
00:52:37,279 --> 00:52:38,279
Or?

1222
00:52:39,239 --> 00:52:40,240
That's all I got.

1223
00:52:41,741 --> 00:52:42,783
Don't worry.

1224
00:52:42,784 --> 00:52:44,660
He already has a girlfriend.

1225
00:52:44,661 --> 00:52:46,746
Of course. Of course
he does. Naturally.

1226
00:52:49,249 --> 00:52:50,499
What's her name?

1227
00:52:50,500 --> 00:52:53,336
Um, Jocelyn, I think.

1228
00:52:55,130 --> 00:52:55,964
Jessica?

1229
00:52:55,965 --> 00:52:57,174
Jessica, that's it.

1230
00:52:59,593 --> 00:53:03,847
You know, people usually
pay him for a session.

1231
00:53:04,806 --> 00:53:05,765
They do?

1232
00:53:05,766 --> 00:53:08,267
And his fees are insane.

1233
00:53:08,268 --> 00:53:10,519
So if he's paying you-

1234
00:53:10,520 --> 00:53:12,438
- He's out of his mind.

1235
00:53:12,439 --> 00:53:15,025
It means he thinks
you're spectacular.

1236
00:53:17,944 --> 00:53:19,778
I was always afraid of blue.

1237
00:53:19,779 --> 00:53:21,113
Really?

1238
00:53:21,114 --> 00:53:22,616
I think it looks great on you.

1239
00:53:23,825 --> 00:53:27,661
Do you love her cheekbones?

1240
00:53:27,662 --> 00:53:28,662
Yes.

1241
00:53:36,463 --> 00:53:38,798
So how's Jessica?

1242
00:53:41,384 --> 00:53:42,469
She makes me laugh.

1243
00:53:43,553 --> 00:53:44,673
That's one of her talents.

1244
00:53:47,057 --> 00:53:48,474
Is it true that one time

1245
00:53:48,475 --> 00:53:50,810
you let her use your
apartment for a date with me?

1246
00:53:51,811 --> 00:53:53,312
Oh my God.

1247
00:53:53,313 --> 00:53:55,856
You saw my hideous apartment?
And you were still with her?

1248
00:53:55,857 --> 00:54:00,320
I loved the apartment, but
I knew she didn't live there.

1249
00:54:02,822 --> 00:54:04,323
What gave it away?

1250
00:54:04,324 --> 00:54:06,326
She picked up a recorder
and held it like this.

1251
00:54:08,328 --> 00:54:11,247
And she didn't even
know what it was called.

1252
00:54:11,248 --> 00:54:15,417
And then she couldn't identify
anything in her apartment.

1253
00:54:15,418 --> 00:54:17,420
She's got
different priorities.

1254
00:54:19,172 --> 00:54:23,342
I heard about the breakup.
You three. I'm sorry.

1255
00:54:23,343 --> 00:54:24,927
Oh, I hope you don't think

1256
00:54:24,928 --> 00:54:26,512
this is some sort
of revenge thing

1257
00:54:26,513 --> 00:54:28,097
because that's not.
That's not why-

1258
00:54:28,098 --> 00:54:28,932
- No.

1259
00:54:28,932 --> 00:54:29,766
Because-

1260
00:54:29,766 --> 00:54:30,766
- I know.

1261
00:54:32,018 --> 00:54:33,352
I don't even have to tell
her about the session

1262
00:54:33,353 --> 00:54:34,521
if you don't want me to.

1263
00:54:40,193 --> 00:54:41,568
Oh.

1264
00:54:41,569 --> 00:54:42,569
Stunning.

1265
00:54:48,451 --> 00:54:50,370
You look phenomenal, Lynette.

1266
00:54:51,871 --> 00:54:53,540
I call this look
"Noble Regret".

1267
00:54:57,919 --> 00:54:59,796
Let's get down to
business, shall we?

1268
00:55:16,563 --> 00:55:17,480
Barking Parrot Development,

1269
00:55:17,480 --> 00:55:18,398
this is Jessica speaking.

1270
00:55:18,399 --> 00:55:19,566
How may I direct your call?

1271
00:55:23,653 --> 00:55:25,613
Mr. Carlyle? I have
Mr. Ashton for you.

1272
00:55:58,938 --> 00:56:00,648
Hi.
If you're mailing-

1273
00:56:01,941 --> 00:56:03,610
No new messages.

1274
00:56:05,028 --> 00:56:06,112
No new messages.

1275
00:56:08,281 --> 00:56:09,616
No new messages.

1276
00:56:11,451 --> 00:56:12,494
No new messages.

1277
00:56:21,378 --> 00:56:22,795
Oh my God, she'll love that.

1278
00:56:22,796 --> 00:56:23,713
Really?

1279
00:56:23,714 --> 00:56:25,130
No, that's really great.

1280
00:56:25,131 --> 00:56:26,131
I don't know. I don't think
it's, like, symmetrical.

1281
00:56:26,132 --> 00:56:27,633
I love what you're doing here.

1282
00:56:27,634 --> 00:56:28,468
Are you sure?

1283
00:56:28,468 --> 00:56:29,302
That's beautiful.

1284
00:56:29,302 --> 00:56:30,136
I feel like.

1285
00:56:30,136 --> 00:56:31,136
Aw.

1286
00:56:48,488 --> 00:56:50,030
Hey Jess, just a quick message

1287
00:56:50,031 --> 00:56:52,825
to tell you how happy
you made me last night.

1288
00:56:52,826 --> 00:56:55,160
I can't wait to see you.

1289
00:56:55,161 --> 00:56:56,161
I love you.

1290
00:57:22,939 --> 00:57:24,440
Hi.

1291
00:57:24,441 --> 00:57:27,192
No new messages.

1292
00:57:27,193 --> 00:57:28,528
No new messages.

1293
00:57:29,946 --> 00:57:30,947
No new mess-

1294
00:57:38,037 --> 00:57:39,580
- In spite of all
the new traditions

1295
00:57:39,581 --> 00:57:42,040
that Lynette and Candy
were inventing together,

1296
00:57:42,041 --> 00:57:43,709
they still missed an old one.

1297
00:57:43,710 --> 00:57:45,210
So about six months later

1298
00:57:45,211 --> 00:57:47,796
they revived their
monthly dinner party.

1299
00:57:47,797 --> 00:57:50,383
But with seating only for two.

1300
00:58:00,602 --> 00:58:01,602
Look at you.

1301
00:58:01,603 --> 00:58:02,896
My God.

1302
00:58:04,564 --> 00:58:05,482
Oh.

1303
00:58:05,483 --> 00:58:06,732
Oh.

1304
00:58:06,733 --> 00:58:08,442
I'm offering wine
to a pregnant woman.

1305
00:58:08,443 --> 00:58:09,902
I'm so sorry.

1306
00:58:09,903 --> 00:58:12,738
Oh my gosh. I
love your outfit.

1307
00:58:12,739 --> 00:58:15,073
You PhDs are smart dressers.

1308
00:58:15,074 --> 00:58:16,909
Oh, dinner smells great.

1309
00:58:16,910 --> 00:58:21,915
Well cooking for three, uh,
two is much more fun than one.

1310
00:58:23,249 --> 00:58:25,334
And it's not like you're
cooking a bunch of food to eat

1311
00:58:25,335 --> 00:58:28,003
for lunch all week out of
those Tupperware thingies.

1312
00:58:28,004 --> 00:58:29,004
I hate that.

1313
00:58:29,797 --> 00:58:30,632
Do you miss her?

1314
00:58:30,633 --> 00:58:31,633
Who, Jess?

1315
00:58:31,634 --> 00:58:33,091
Of course not.

1316
00:58:33,092 --> 00:58:36,011
I mean, sure I wonder how she's
doing, but I don't miss her.

1317
00:58:36,012 --> 00:58:37,638
Yeah.

1318
00:58:37,639 --> 00:58:38,598
Do you miss her?

1319
00:58:38,599 --> 00:58:39,599
Me? No.

1320
00:58:40,475 --> 00:58:42,643
Except sometimes.

1321
00:58:42,644 --> 00:58:43,478
Yeah.

1322
00:58:43,479 --> 00:58:44,811
Sometimes.

1323
00:58:44,812 --> 00:58:45,938
Excuse me a second, hon.

1324
00:58:45,939 --> 00:58:46,939
Yeah.

1325
00:59:00,203 --> 00:59:01,703
You have no messages.

1326
00:59:01,704 --> 00:59:03,038
Thank you for your call.

1327
00:59:03,039 --> 00:59:04,039
Goodbye.

1328
00:59:09,212 --> 00:59:11,171
So you have
another month still?

1329
00:59:11,172 --> 00:59:12,631
Two weeks.

1330
00:59:12,632 --> 00:59:14,341
So you guys won't have to
rush me to the hospital guys.

1331
00:59:14,342 --> 00:59:15,717
Us guys?

1332
00:59:15,718 --> 00:59:18,304
You. You won't
have to rush me.

1333
00:59:20,306 --> 00:59:21,140
Oh, I'll get it.

1334
00:59:21,140 --> 00:59:21,975
Something in the oven?

1335
00:59:21,976 --> 00:59:23,058
Just the chicken.

1336
00:59:23,059 --> 00:59:24,059
Okay.

1337
00:59:34,237 --> 00:59:35,696
Hi. If you're
male and you're cute,

1338
00:59:35,697 --> 00:59:37,991
and you're looking for
Jess, you may be in luck.

1339
00:59:39,325 --> 00:59:41,535
Oh, were you calling somebody?

1340
00:59:41,536 --> 00:59:42,661
No.

1341
00:59:42,662 --> 00:59:43,496
Maybe.

1342
00:59:43,496 --> 00:59:44,496
No.

1343
00:59:48,918 --> 00:59:50,670
Why is there all
this extra food?

1344
00:59:52,839 --> 00:59:54,047
Don't you sometimes wish

1345
00:59:54,048 --> 00:59:56,009
she would just call
up and apologize?

1346
01:00:01,097 --> 01:00:03,182
It's been six months.

1347
01:00:04,350 --> 01:00:05,852
Do you think she misses us?

1348
01:00:07,186 --> 01:00:09,022
I thought I was the naive one.

1349
01:00:11,566 --> 01:00:14,192
Did you like
all our sex talks?

1350
01:00:14,193 --> 01:00:15,694
Jess sure did.

1351
01:00:15,695 --> 01:00:19,072
Mm. But did we ever talk
about, like, love and marriage?

1352
01:00:19,073 --> 01:00:22,534
We tried. But it always
turned back to sex.

1353
01:00:22,535 --> 01:00:24,369
Should we go to a nightclub?

1354
01:00:24,370 --> 01:00:26,538
I don't actually
enjoy nightclubs.

1355
01:00:26,539 --> 01:00:28,875
And I don't think
Beanie would either.

1356
01:00:30,960 --> 01:00:31,878
Ooh.

1357
01:00:31,878 --> 01:00:32,712
I think that's mine.

1358
01:00:32,713 --> 01:00:33,796
I'll be right back.

1359
01:00:53,316 --> 01:00:54,275
You've reached
the desk of Jessica Marshall

1360
01:00:54,276 --> 01:00:55,817
at Barking Parrot Development.

1361
01:00:55,818 --> 01:00:56,818
I'm either on-

1362
01:01:01,449 --> 01:01:02,950
- You called Jess, didn't you?

1363
01:01:04,827 --> 01:01:05,912
So did you.

1364
01:01:06,746 --> 01:01:07,746
No, I didn't.

1365
01:01:19,008 --> 01:01:20,634
I kind of miss her.

1366
01:01:20,635 --> 01:01:22,928
After what she said to us?

1367
01:01:22,929 --> 01:01:24,930
Damn it, Lynnie.
She was right.

1368
01:01:24,931 --> 01:01:27,140
That she's Miss
Beauty, I'm Miss Brains,

1369
01:01:27,141 --> 01:01:28,934
and you are Miss Personality?

1370
01:01:28,935 --> 01:01:30,352
She is a beauty.

1371
01:01:30,353 --> 01:01:31,270
So are you.

1372
01:01:31,271 --> 01:01:32,271
And so are you.

1373
01:01:32,271 --> 01:01:33,106
No I'm not.

1374
01:01:33,107 --> 01:01:34,356
And no I'm not.

1375
01:01:34,357 --> 01:01:35,757
So we agree with
Jess on that point.

1376
01:01:36,776 --> 01:01:38,026
What?

1377
01:01:38,027 --> 01:01:40,195
I think that she's
beautiful and I'm not.

1378
01:01:40,196 --> 01:01:42,364
You think that she's
beautiful and you're not.

1379
01:01:42,365 --> 01:01:43,990
And she thinks that
she's beautiful-

1380
01:01:43,991 --> 01:01:45,659
- And we're not.

1381
01:01:45,660 --> 01:01:47,452
She's not allowed
to think that?

1382
01:01:47,453 --> 01:01:49,287
She can't just say it.

1383
01:01:49,288 --> 01:01:50,706
Anyway, three
votes for Jessica,

1384
01:01:50,707 --> 01:01:51,957
one for you and one for me.

1385
01:01:51,958 --> 01:01:53,125
So she's right on that one.

1386
01:01:53,126 --> 01:01:54,126
But-

1387
01:01:54,127 --> 01:01:55,794
Item number two: your brains.

1388
01:01:55,795 --> 01:01:57,295
We all have brains.

1389
01:01:57,296 --> 01:01:59,131
But only one of us has a PhD.

1390
01:01:59,132 --> 01:02:00,215
So she's right again.

1391
01:02:00,216 --> 01:02:01,800
Candy, come on.

1392
01:02:01,801 --> 01:02:03,969
Sometimes people tell me
I have a nice personality.

1393
01:02:03,970 --> 01:02:05,637
You have a
wonderful personality.

1394
01:02:05,638 --> 01:02:07,139
So Jess got all three right.

1395
01:02:07,140 --> 01:02:09,808
And if she didn't, we share
are acting like she did.

1396
01:02:09,809 --> 01:02:11,643
God, we are.

1397
01:02:11,644 --> 01:02:13,145
Another thing.

1398
01:02:13,146 --> 01:02:14,646
Did you see what she burned
in her oven that night?

1399
01:02:14,647 --> 01:02:16,356
No, but it sure stank.

1400
01:02:16,357 --> 01:02:17,899
Like, sickly sweet.

1401
01:02:17,900 --> 01:02:19,901
Like burned Devil's Food cake.

1402
01:02:19,902 --> 01:02:24,322
She baked us a cake.
Tried to. And failed.

1403
01:02:24,323 --> 01:02:25,490
That was stupid.

1404
01:02:25,491 --> 01:02:26,742
She doesn't know how to bake.

1405
01:02:26,743 --> 01:02:28,410
Trying something
new is stupid?

1406
01:02:28,411 --> 01:02:29,661
Really, Lynette?

1407
01:02:29,662 --> 01:02:31,163
She lied to us
about all that food

1408
01:02:31,164 --> 01:02:33,165
she cooked that night. Remember?

1409
01:02:33,166 --> 01:02:34,708
All the food from
the restaurant.

1410
01:02:34,709 --> 01:02:36,209
She shouldn't have
lied to us like that.

1411
01:02:36,210 --> 01:02:37,502
That really hurts,

1412
01:02:37,503 --> 01:02:38,670
being lied to.

1413
01:02:38,671 --> 01:02:41,006
Failing can hurt too.

1414
01:02:41,007 --> 01:02:42,841
I want to send her a fax.

1415
01:02:42,842 --> 01:02:43,843
Wait, are you sure?

1416
01:02:45,386 --> 01:02:48,013
Dear Jessica.

1417
01:02:48,014 --> 01:02:50,766
Should we say "Dear Jessica"?

1418
01:02:50,767 --> 01:02:51,851
Jessica dearest.

1419
01:02:53,853 --> 01:02:54,936
O Jessica.

1420
01:02:54,937 --> 01:02:56,104
Like a prayer?

1421
01:02:56,105 --> 01:02:57,439
Like a poem.

1422
01:02:57,440 --> 01:02:59,232
She'll think we're
praying to her.

1423
01:02:59,233 --> 01:03:00,860
Say Jessica. No "Dear".

1424
01:03:04,363 --> 01:03:05,782
Okay. What do we have so far?

1425
01:03:07,116 --> 01:03:08,742
Jessica.

1426
01:03:08,743 --> 01:03:12,872
Jessica, we wish to
speak with you. Comply.

1427
01:03:16,042 --> 01:03:18,084
How about "We need
to speak with you."?

1428
01:03:18,085 --> 01:03:19,712
I don't need
anything from her.

1429
01:03:20,755 --> 01:03:22,214
I'm going to go see her.

1430
01:03:22,215 --> 01:03:23,715
Are you crazy?

1431
01:03:23,716 --> 01:03:26,218
This note is inviting her
to come see us, I think.

1432
01:03:26,219 --> 01:03:27,385
Yes.

1433
01:03:27,386 --> 01:03:29,763
Someday. In a
controlled environment.

1434
01:03:29,764 --> 01:03:30,931
I'll bring her back here.

1435
01:03:30,932 --> 01:03:32,140
All the control you want.

1436
01:03:32,141 --> 01:03:34,309
Okay. Just try this.

1437
01:03:34,310 --> 01:03:36,978
"Jessica, please meet with us

1438
01:03:36,979 --> 01:03:39,439
before our lives
continue too far

1439
01:03:39,440 --> 01:03:42,067
down separate and
disparate paths."

1440
01:03:42,068 --> 01:03:44,569
Don't separate and
disparate mean the same thing?

1441
01:03:44,570 --> 01:03:46,238
Disparate means dissimilar.

1442
01:03:46,239 --> 01:03:48,824
And separate means not touching.

1443
01:03:48,825 --> 01:03:49,909
Does Jess know that?

1444
01:03:50,910 --> 01:03:52,327
She went to college.

1445
01:03:52,328 --> 01:03:53,329
Occasionally.

1446
01:03:55,331 --> 01:03:56,915
Should we send it to her work?

1447
01:03:56,916 --> 01:03:58,251
She has a car fax.

1448
01:04:06,592 --> 01:04:07,926
This is good.

1449
01:04:07,927 --> 01:04:09,302
Maybe in a few months
we'll be back together

1450
01:04:09,303 --> 01:04:10,595
having our monthly dinner.

1451
01:04:10,596 --> 01:04:12,180
Taking our monthly picture.

1452
01:04:12,181 --> 01:04:14,433
Eating our monthly
Devil's Food cake.

1453
01:04:15,601 --> 01:04:17,602
Jess will make some
thoughtless comment.

1454
01:04:17,603 --> 01:04:19,522
And we'll be
ready to kill her.

1455
01:04:20,439 --> 01:04:21,274
Oh my God.

1456
01:04:21,274 --> 01:04:22,108
Did we get it?

1457
01:04:22,108 --> 01:04:22,984
A piece is missing.

1458
01:04:22,984 --> 01:04:23,776
Was there anything on it?

1459
01:04:23,777 --> 01:04:25,151
Just one word.

1460
01:04:25,152 --> 01:04:26,152
Which word?

1461
01:04:27,029 --> 01:04:28,697
Disparate.

1462
01:04:28,698 --> 01:04:29,698
Uh-oh.

1463
01:04:30,533 --> 01:04:31,533
Hey, you two!

1464
01:04:32,785 --> 01:04:34,619
I was just in the neighborhood
and I got your fax.

1465
01:04:34,620 --> 01:04:36,121
Isn't that wild?

1466
01:04:36,122 --> 01:04:37,122
What fax?

1467
01:04:37,123 --> 01:04:38,290
You're so cute.

1468
01:04:38,291 --> 01:04:39,958
The one where you
said you're desperate.

1469
01:04:39,959 --> 01:04:40,793
Disparate.

1470
01:04:40,794 --> 01:04:41,835
Exactly.

1471
01:04:41,836 --> 01:04:43,795
Disparate means different.

1472
01:04:43,796 --> 01:04:45,297
Oh, I sure hope
you feel different.

1473
01:04:45,298 --> 01:04:47,173
You were so weird
last time I saw you.

1474
01:04:47,174 --> 01:04:48,009
No.

1475
01:04:48,010 --> 01:04:49,134
Unrelated.

1476
01:04:49,135 --> 01:04:50,510
But we're friends,

1477
01:04:50,511 --> 01:04:52,387
so we are related like family.

1478
01:04:52,388 --> 01:04:53,805
Distinct.

1479
01:04:53,806 --> 01:04:54,682
Oh, our love is so strong

1480
01:04:54,683 --> 01:04:55,891
it will never go distinct.

1481
01:04:55,892 --> 01:04:57,350
No, it means that-

1482
01:04:57,351 --> 01:04:58,727
- Anyway, none of that matters

1483
01:04:58,728 --> 01:05:01,396
because I totally forgive you.

1484
01:05:01,397 --> 01:05:02,647
For what?

1485
01:05:02,648 --> 01:05:03,857
For all the mean
things you said.

1486
01:05:03,858 --> 01:05:05,150
What?

1487
01:05:05,151 --> 01:05:08,904
All I remember is we
were having a nice talk

1488
01:05:08,905 --> 01:05:10,864
and suddenly you were furious.

1489
01:05:10,865 --> 01:05:13,074
You insulted us.

1490
01:05:13,075 --> 01:05:14,576
Oh, you mean my little comment

1491
01:05:14,577 --> 01:05:16,661
about beauty, brains
and personality?

1492
01:05:16,662 --> 01:05:17,496
See, Lynette.

1493
01:05:17,497 --> 01:05:18,705
She didn't even mean it.

1494
01:05:18,706 --> 01:05:20,540
Oh, I meant it, but-

1495
01:05:20,541 --> 01:05:21,834
- We didn't send anything.

1496
01:05:23,336 --> 01:05:24,503
That was a mistake.

1497
01:05:26,881 --> 01:05:28,340
Desperate.

1498
01:05:28,341 --> 01:05:30,508
So dramatic. Who knows what
you two are capable of?

1499
01:05:30,509 --> 01:05:33,054
So what were you doing
in the neighborhood, Jess?

1500
01:05:34,013 --> 01:05:36,514
I was going to
the post office.

1501
01:05:36,515 --> 01:05:38,558
It closes at 5:00.

1502
01:05:38,559 --> 01:05:40,352
Well, there's this really
cute little dress shop.

1503
01:05:40,353 --> 01:05:42,103
You know, it's just
around the corner.

1504
01:05:42,104 --> 01:05:43,022
I know the shop.

1505
01:05:43,022 --> 01:05:44,022
It's closed.

1506
01:05:45,066 --> 01:05:47,192
What were you doing in
Candy's neighborhood?

1507
01:05:47,193 --> 01:05:51,364
I was headed to...

1508
01:05:55,368 --> 01:05:56,202
Okay.

1509
01:05:56,203 --> 01:05:57,702
I'm really sorry

1510
01:05:57,703 --> 01:06:00,373
that I said you have a
fabulous personality.

1511
01:06:01,791 --> 01:06:05,961
And I'm really sorry that
I said you're a genius.

1512
01:06:05,962 --> 01:06:09,214
How about sorry for saying,
"You two aren't beautiful."?

1513
01:06:09,215 --> 01:06:10,882
I never said that.

1514
01:06:10,883 --> 01:06:12,092
You said-

1515
01:06:12,093 --> 01:06:14,761
- I said that out
of the three of us,

1516
01:06:14,762 --> 01:06:17,097
I am the most beautiful.

1517
01:06:17,098 --> 01:06:18,765
And you agree, Lynnie.

1518
01:06:18,766 --> 01:06:20,892
I agree that Jess is
more beautiful than me

1519
01:06:20,893 --> 01:06:24,270
but I do not agree that she
is more beautiful than Candy.

1520
01:06:24,271 --> 01:06:27,065
Lynette, if I agree
with you, Jess hates me.

1521
01:06:27,066 --> 01:06:29,234
And Jess, if I agree with
you, Lynette hates me.

1522
01:06:29,235 --> 01:06:30,819
So I'm not gonna say anything.

1523
01:06:30,820 --> 01:06:32,779
She hurt you just
as bad as she hurt me.

1524
01:06:32,780 --> 01:06:35,740
Oh. I don't even remember.

1525
01:06:35,741 --> 01:06:37,492
But you guys, I have proof.

1526
01:06:37,493 --> 01:06:38,785
Proof that you're beautiful?

1527
01:06:38,786 --> 01:06:39,786
Yes!

1528
01:06:40,621 --> 01:06:41,830
I remember now.

1529
01:06:41,831 --> 01:06:42,665
Mm-hm.

1530
01:06:42,666 --> 01:06:44,416
Okay. I have proof too.

1531
01:06:44,417 --> 01:06:46,085
What does proof prove?

1532
01:06:46,919 --> 01:06:48,253
What's your proof?

1533
01:06:48,254 --> 01:06:49,296
Well, look at her.

1534
01:06:50,756 --> 01:06:52,340
She looks like always.

1535
01:06:52,341 --> 01:06:53,300
Who are you wearing anyway?

1536
01:06:53,301 --> 01:06:54,343
Laura Ashley?

1537
01:06:55,594 --> 01:06:59,265
I, on the other hand, have this.

1538
01:07:00,266 --> 01:07:02,100
Oh my God, Jess.

1539
01:07:02,101 --> 01:07:03,852
It's a boulder.

1540
01:07:03,853 --> 01:07:04,853
Is that from Ron?

1541
01:07:05,688 --> 01:07:07,272
Wait, you know Ron?

1542
01:07:07,273 --> 01:07:08,940
You and I met
him the same night.

1543
01:07:08,941 --> 01:07:11,109
He lets you call him Ron?

1544
01:07:11,110 --> 01:07:12,694
Did you sleep with him?

1545
01:07:12,695 --> 01:07:13,820
No.

1546
01:07:13,821 --> 01:07:15,030
No.

1547
01:07:15,031 --> 01:07:17,616
Then why does he
let you call him Ron?

1548
01:07:18,784 --> 01:07:21,787
We talk sometimes
about photography.

1549
01:07:23,456 --> 01:07:24,956
Wait, who's Ron?

1550
01:07:24,957 --> 01:07:25,957
Oh, he's my dude.

1551
01:07:25,958 --> 01:07:27,167
My man.

1552
01:07:27,168 --> 01:07:29,044
He's like this rich
and famous photog.

1553
01:07:29,045 --> 01:07:29,879
Well what did he take?

1554
01:07:29,880 --> 01:07:31,629
Like nature pictures?

1555
01:07:31,630 --> 01:07:33,298
They're natural all right.

1556
01:07:33,299 --> 01:07:34,632
Very beautiful.

1557
01:07:34,633 --> 01:07:38,970
Wait, did he take
pictures of you?

1558
01:07:38,971 --> 01:07:40,138
A couple.

1559
01:07:40,139 --> 01:07:41,848
How could you afford him?

1560
01:07:41,849 --> 01:07:44,559
What did you mean by natural?

1561
01:07:44,560 --> 01:07:46,145
I think you know what I mean.

1562
01:07:47,813 --> 01:07:49,482
You posed naked?

1563
01:07:51,067 --> 01:07:53,485
What did he do when you started
tearing off your clothes?

1564
01:07:53,486 --> 01:07:55,153
He brought it up at the party

1565
01:07:55,154 --> 01:07:57,489
and I was curious.

1566
01:07:57,490 --> 01:07:58,823
Curious?

1567
01:07:58,824 --> 01:08:01,327
Like sexy French
coming-of-age movie curious?

1568
01:08:02,495 --> 01:08:04,329
I thought you don't
watch foreign films.

1569
01:08:04,330 --> 01:08:06,331
Oh, French isn't
foreign. It's trendy.

1570
01:08:06,332 --> 01:08:07,249
Why didn't you tell me

1571
01:08:07,250 --> 01:08:08,708
somebody asked you to pose nude?

1572
01:08:08,709 --> 01:08:10,168
I thought maybe he was drunk.

1573
01:08:10,169 --> 01:08:11,879
And no sex was involved.

1574
01:08:12,838 --> 01:08:14,715
I just wanted to feel sexy.

1575
01:08:15,883 --> 01:08:18,176
I've been celibate
for three years.

1576
01:08:18,177 --> 01:08:21,012
You told us you
were abstaining.

1577
01:08:21,013 --> 01:08:23,848
Don't you two ever
wanna feel sexy?

1578
01:08:23,849 --> 01:08:25,683
Oh, I am sexy.

1579
01:08:25,684 --> 01:08:27,560
I always feel cutesy.

1580
01:08:27,561 --> 01:08:29,687
Anyways, Lynette, I'm shocked.

1581
01:08:29,688 --> 01:08:31,231
They're beautiful pictures.

1582
01:08:31,232 --> 01:08:33,858
You were so critical
of my job at Curvees

1583
01:08:33,859 --> 01:08:36,694
and then you just go and
bare it all for the camera.

1584
01:08:36,695 --> 01:08:37,779
Yeah!

1585
01:08:37,780 --> 01:08:39,572
I didn't criticize you.

1586
01:08:39,573 --> 01:08:41,074
You said I look
good in tiny shorts

1587
01:08:41,075 --> 01:08:42,534
and a clingy a T-shirt.

1588
01:08:42,535 --> 01:08:44,035
That's criticism?

1589
01:08:44,036 --> 01:08:45,245
Of course it is.

1590
01:08:45,246 --> 01:08:48,373
Candy, she's hard on me too.

1591
01:08:48,374 --> 01:08:49,374
Sure it was critical

1592
01:08:49,375 --> 01:08:50,375
coming from.

1593
01:08:51,710 --> 01:08:52,752
Wanna see them?

1594
01:08:52,753 --> 01:08:53,962
The pictures?

1595
01:08:53,963 --> 01:08:56,256
He gave me a whole
set. Wanna see?

1596
01:08:56,257 --> 01:08:57,715
Absolutely not!

1597
01:08:57,716 --> 01:08:58,883
That's disgusting.

1598
01:08:58,884 --> 01:08:59,884
Sure.

1599
01:09:08,144 --> 01:09:10,646
Lynette, I can't believe
you sold out like that.

1600
01:09:11,814 --> 01:09:13,982
Oh, I love this one
with the red scarf.

1601
01:09:13,983 --> 01:09:15,651
I went a little wild there.

1602
01:09:17,570 --> 01:09:19,112
Lynnie, these are gorgeous.

1603
01:09:19,113 --> 01:09:21,823
And the lighting, it's like
straight out of a magazine.

1604
01:09:21,824 --> 01:09:23,616
Can I have some copies so
I can send them to your mom?

1605
01:09:23,617 --> 01:09:24,910
She already has a set.

1606
01:09:25,911 --> 01:09:27,579
Look at these stuffed animals.

1607
01:09:27,580 --> 01:09:28,788
Oh my God.

1608
01:09:28,789 --> 01:09:30,748
Your dad is going to
have a heart attack.

1609
01:09:30,749 --> 01:09:34,252
I got asked to pose for the
"Girls of Curvees" calendar.

1610
01:09:34,253 --> 01:09:36,421
But I said no.

1611
01:09:36,422 --> 01:09:38,173
No, you should have done it.

1612
01:09:38,174 --> 01:09:39,924
Six months ago you
wouldn't have said that.

1613
01:09:39,925 --> 01:09:41,426
Yeah!

1614
01:09:41,427 --> 01:09:42,594
Probably not.

1615
01:09:42,595 --> 01:09:44,596
What? Now that
you're all Miss Nude

1616
01:09:44,597 --> 01:09:46,848
you're like everyone
take it off.

1617
01:09:46,849 --> 01:09:48,266
When did you try out?

1618
01:09:48,267 --> 01:09:49,684
About a month ago.

1619
01:09:49,685 --> 01:09:52,145
I sent them some
pre-pregnancy swimsuit photos

1620
01:09:52,146 --> 01:09:55,648
and they made me an offer
but I turned them down.

1621
01:09:55,649 --> 01:09:56,816
I thought you'd be proud.

1622
01:09:56,817 --> 01:09:59,611
Wait, you got an offer to pose

1623
01:09:59,612 --> 01:10:01,613
for the "Girls of
Curvees" calendar?

1624
01:10:01,614 --> 01:10:02,947
Of course she did.

1625
01:10:02,948 --> 01:10:04,282
But you're pregnant!

1626
01:10:04,283 --> 01:10:05,783
I won't always be.

1627
01:10:05,784 --> 01:10:06,868
You look too young.

1628
01:10:06,869 --> 01:10:07,953
That's a bad thing?

1629
01:10:08,954 --> 01:10:11,039
I am proud of you, honey.

1630
01:10:11,040 --> 01:10:13,292
I can't believe you
both got asked to pose.

1631
01:10:15,628 --> 01:10:18,338
What girl doesn't like
to have her picture taken?

1632
01:10:18,339 --> 01:10:21,007
It's natural to want
to feel beautiful.

1633
01:10:21,008 --> 01:10:22,300
But Candy was too smart

1634
01:10:22,301 --> 01:10:24,470
to let anyone take
advantage of her.

1635
01:10:33,145 --> 01:10:34,646
Miss Waterman?

1636
01:10:34,647 --> 01:10:36,857
How do you do, Mr. Weems?

1637
01:10:38,901 --> 01:10:41,986
Oh, I was told the company
was okay with my pregnancy.

1638
01:10:41,987 --> 01:10:43,363
Uh.

1639
01:10:43,364 --> 01:10:45,156
Yeah. As long as you get
back to that nice trim figure

1640
01:10:45,157 --> 01:10:46,991
we saw in your test photos.

1641
01:10:46,992 --> 01:10:47,992
Of course.

1642
01:10:51,580 --> 01:10:54,415
So, have you
signed the agreement?

1643
01:10:54,416 --> 01:10:56,876
I'm curious about
the word repurposing.

1644
01:10:56,877 --> 01:10:58,836
Oh, that's just
a technical term.

1645
01:10:58,837 --> 01:11:00,755
Nothing to worry about.

1646
01:11:00,756 --> 01:11:03,591
This agreement would allow
the company to reuse my photos?

1647
01:11:03,592 --> 01:11:07,011
Well, yes, but we
almost never do that.

1648
01:11:07,012 --> 01:11:10,224
Our customers prefer
fresh girls each year.

1649
01:11:11,183 --> 01:11:12,684
I understand you also put out

1650
01:11:12,685 --> 01:11:14,352
Wild Animals magazine, right?

1651
01:11:14,353 --> 01:11:15,520
Yes.

1652
01:11:15,521 --> 01:11:18,440
So my photos could
end up in Wild Animals?

1653
01:11:21,277 --> 01:11:24,529
Wild Animals fans
prefer nude models.

1654
01:11:24,530 --> 01:11:26,364
Do you ever retouch photos?

1655
01:11:26,365 --> 01:11:27,573
Yes, of course.

1656
01:11:27,574 --> 01:11:30,618
If perfection is within
reach, why not read it?

1657
01:11:30,619 --> 01:11:33,746
So my face could end up
on the body of a naked girl?

1658
01:11:33,747 --> 01:11:37,875
Yes, but Miss Waterman,
it would be much cheaper

1659
01:11:37,876 --> 01:11:41,546
to hire a nude model than
to retouch it on a computer.

1660
01:11:41,547 --> 01:11:44,048
Unless the girl the
fans like got popular

1661
01:11:44,049 --> 01:11:46,217
and more expensive than
when she first posts.

1662
01:11:46,218 --> 01:11:47,885
Mm Hmm.

1663
01:11:47,886 --> 01:11:50,054
That's a little presumptuous.

1664
01:11:50,055 --> 01:11:51,723
Now, on page two,

1665
01:11:51,724 --> 01:11:54,310
there were a couple of terms
that were a little vague.

1666
01:11:58,230 --> 01:12:00,315
Well, I didn't actually
go through with it.

1667
01:12:00,316 --> 01:12:01,566
Why didn't you?

1668
01:12:01,567 --> 01:12:04,610
I read the contract.
Way too exploitive.

1669
01:12:04,611 --> 01:12:08,156
Yes. You'd be exploited
as a sex object.

1670
01:12:08,157 --> 01:12:10,408
No, I'd be
exploited as a fool.

1671
01:12:10,409 --> 01:12:12,493
For starters, they'd be
able to use my picture

1672
01:12:12,494 --> 01:12:14,829
over and over again
for a one-time fee.

1673
01:12:14,830 --> 01:12:16,247
What more do you want?

1674
01:12:16,248 --> 01:12:17,665
Residuals.

1675
01:12:17,666 --> 01:12:20,335
Additional payments for
repurposing in other media.

1676
01:12:20,336 --> 01:12:22,754
Restrictions on
alterations and retouching.

1677
01:12:22,755 --> 01:12:24,630
Throughout the
universe in perpetuity.

1678
01:12:24,631 --> 01:12:26,008
And 10 free copies.

1679
01:12:27,092 --> 01:12:28,926
You know all those big words?

1680
01:12:28,927 --> 01:12:31,429
With that contract
they'd be able to use me

1681
01:12:31,430 --> 01:12:34,182
in a video, on the
internet, even slap my face

1682
01:12:34,183 --> 01:12:36,601
on some other girl's
body for one low fee.

1683
01:12:36,602 --> 01:12:39,979
Wow. I hardly
read my contract.

1684
01:12:39,980 --> 01:12:42,857
You're both such hypocrites.

1685
01:12:42,858 --> 01:12:45,026
All your talk about feminism

1686
01:12:45,027 --> 01:12:47,028
and all your crap
you heaped on me

1687
01:12:47,029 --> 01:12:49,530
because I'm supposedly
promiscuous.

1688
01:12:49,531 --> 01:12:52,200
You are promiscuous.

1689
01:12:52,201 --> 01:12:54,285
Both of you would sell
your looks for money.

1690
01:12:54,286 --> 01:12:55,620
I said no to the calendar.

1691
01:12:55,621 --> 01:12:57,622
That's because it
didn't pay you enough,

1692
01:12:57,623 --> 01:12:59,999
not because you
thought it was wrong.

1693
01:13:00,000 --> 01:13:01,794
Not paying enough is wrong.

1694
01:13:03,670 --> 01:13:05,505
But they were so impressed

1695
01:13:05,506 --> 01:13:07,632
with my reasons for
not doing the calendar.

1696
01:13:07,633 --> 01:13:10,343
And they offered me a
job in Curvees corporate

1697
01:13:10,344 --> 01:13:12,637
as a legal secretary.

1698
01:13:12,638 --> 01:13:14,639
That's fantastic.

1699
01:13:14,640 --> 01:13:15,807
When do you start?

1700
01:13:15,808 --> 01:13:17,476
A month after this one's born.

1701
01:13:18,477 --> 01:13:20,728
I used to look up to you guys.

1702
01:13:20,729 --> 01:13:24,315
Last time we saw
you, you insulted us.

1703
01:13:24,316 --> 01:13:26,234
It was a compliment.

1704
01:13:26,235 --> 01:13:27,986
Shouldn't
complements feel good?

1705
01:13:29,154 --> 01:13:30,488
Don't worry.

1706
01:13:30,489 --> 01:13:33,491
Both of you have been terribly
busy proving me wrong.

1707
01:13:33,492 --> 01:13:36,369
So now I'm not even
one-third of the perfect woman?

1708
01:13:36,370 --> 01:13:37,995
No, I didn't mean that-

1709
01:13:37,996 --> 01:13:41,499
- First of all, disparate
means dissimilar.

1710
01:13:41,500 --> 01:13:43,835
If we were desperate, we would
have used the word desperate,

1711
01:13:43,836 --> 01:13:45,878
but we used the word disparate.

1712
01:13:45,879 --> 01:13:47,338
Candy, she's showing off.

1713
01:13:47,339 --> 01:13:49,841
Second of all, if we
wanted to invite you tonight,

1714
01:13:49,842 --> 01:13:50,676
we would have.

1715
01:13:50,677 --> 01:13:53,177
We tried to un-invite.

1716
01:13:53,178 --> 01:13:54,888
You you're making
her feel awful.

1717
01:13:55,848 --> 01:13:57,181
You were right.

1718
01:13:57,182 --> 01:13:58,516
You're Miss Beauty.

1719
01:13:58,517 --> 01:13:59,851
I'm Miss Brains.

1720
01:13:59,852 --> 01:14:02,353
And she's Miss Personality.

1721
01:14:02,354 --> 01:14:03,771
We spent the last six months

1722
01:14:03,772 --> 01:14:05,858
trying to prove you wrong,
Jess, but we couldn't.

1723
01:14:07,067 --> 01:14:08,693
I wasn't trying
to prove anything.

1724
01:14:08,694 --> 01:14:09,861
Oh, come on.

1725
01:14:09,862 --> 01:14:12,071
Being in a calendar? You?

1726
01:14:12,072 --> 01:14:14,866
And posing nude. Me?

1727
01:14:14,867 --> 01:14:16,534
I thought you enjoyed it.

1728
01:14:16,535 --> 01:14:19,245
I did, but it's not me.

1729
01:14:19,246 --> 01:14:21,122
You see how I dress.

1730
01:14:21,123 --> 01:14:24,125
I mean, you're
bouncy-perky-creative,

1731
01:14:24,126 --> 01:14:26,211
and you have
scratch-and-sniff wallpaper.

1732
01:14:28,547 --> 01:14:29,964
And now you're
trying to say that

1733
01:14:29,965 --> 01:14:32,258
we don't have brains
or personality either.

1734
01:14:32,259 --> 01:14:33,759
No, that's-

1735
01:14:33,760 --> 01:14:37,430
- I admitted, Jessica, that
you have more personality

1736
01:14:37,431 --> 01:14:39,056
than the two of us put together

1737
01:14:39,057 --> 01:14:41,894
because only a strong personality
could upset me this much.

1738
01:14:44,062 --> 01:14:46,564
So you're two-thirds
the perfect woman.

1739
01:14:46,565 --> 01:14:47,940
Satisfied?

1740
01:14:47,941 --> 01:14:49,609
I was trying to
say that both of you

1741
01:14:49,610 --> 01:14:51,653
are perfect women
all on your own.

1742
01:14:53,071 --> 01:14:56,282
Either of you has all the
beauty, brains and personality

1743
01:14:56,283 --> 01:14:58,076
that anyone could ever want.

1744
01:14:59,411 --> 01:15:00,245
But what about-

1745
01:15:00,246 --> 01:15:01,413
- Let her finish.

1746
01:15:02,581 --> 01:15:06,584
Candy, look at you
with, with your contract

1747
01:15:06,585 --> 01:15:08,587
and your fancy smart new job.

1748
01:15:09,671 --> 01:15:12,924
If anyone deserves a
PhD in brains, it's you.

1749
01:15:12,925 --> 01:15:15,135
And they wanted you
in their calendar.

1750
01:15:18,430 --> 01:15:19,430
Lynnie,

1751
01:15:22,267 --> 01:15:24,268
you've got to have an
amazing personality

1752
01:15:24,269 --> 01:15:26,188
to be as interesting as you are.

1753
01:15:27,523 --> 01:15:29,106
It's not just brains either.

1754
01:15:29,107 --> 01:15:30,942
I know because I've
dated some brainy guys

1755
01:15:30,943 --> 01:15:32,444
and they've been really boring.

1756
01:15:34,112 --> 01:15:36,949
And your little camera
tryst with my fiance,

1757
01:15:38,617 --> 01:15:40,536
he obviously thought
you were a beauty.

1758
01:15:41,954 --> 01:15:43,205
He's crazy about you.

1759
01:15:44,623 --> 01:15:48,000
Look, I'm a good fuck.

1760
01:15:48,001 --> 01:15:49,627
I know that.

1761
01:15:49,628 --> 01:15:51,546
But when the sex
with me is over,

1762
01:15:51,547 --> 01:15:52,630
what do you have left?

1763
01:15:52,631 --> 01:15:53,507
My personality?

1764
01:15:53,508 --> 01:15:54,632
That's a laugh.

1765
01:15:54,633 --> 01:15:56,634
You have a
wonderful personality.

1766
01:15:56,635 --> 01:15:58,970
I have no personality.

1767
01:15:58,971 --> 01:16:00,137
I never say the right thing.

1768
01:16:00,138 --> 01:16:01,847
I never knew the
right thing to say.

1769
01:16:01,848 --> 01:16:04,350
If I walk into a room
and there's no men in it,

1770
01:16:04,351 --> 01:16:05,644
I don't know what to do.

1771
01:16:06,728 --> 01:16:08,146
I have no brains either.

1772
01:16:10,232 --> 01:16:13,150
I work for a company and I
don't even know what we do

1773
01:16:13,151 --> 01:16:15,820
or make or sell or whatever.

1774
01:16:15,821 --> 01:16:17,405
They hired you
because you're classy

1775
01:16:17,406 --> 01:16:18,990
and you make the
company look good.

1776
01:16:18,991 --> 01:16:20,701
And I agree.

1777
01:16:21,868 --> 01:16:24,329
Both of you beat
me at looking good.

1778
01:16:25,706 --> 01:16:28,541
The one thing where I
thought I had the advantage.

1779
01:16:28,542 --> 01:16:31,502
You do have the advantage.

1780
01:16:31,503 --> 01:16:33,005
You're absolutely stunning.

1781
01:16:34,673 --> 01:16:37,008
Okay. So I'm
one-third a woman.

1782
01:16:37,009 --> 01:16:39,343
Jess, nobody's
trying to beat you.

1783
01:16:39,344 --> 01:16:41,178
At least not consciously.

1784
01:16:41,179 --> 01:16:42,597
You want to be smart.

1785
01:16:42,598 --> 01:16:46,018
You go get a PhD
or read a contract.

1786
01:16:46,893 --> 01:16:47,853
You want to be pretty.

1787
01:16:47,854 --> 01:16:49,688
You get in front of a camera.

1788
01:16:51,523 --> 01:16:54,358
Either of you can be
whatever you choose to be.

1789
01:16:54,359 --> 01:16:55,277
Then why haven't I-

1790
01:16:55,278 --> 01:16:57,570
- Because you don't want to.

1791
01:16:57,571 --> 01:16:59,530
You don't choose to.

1792
01:16:59,531 --> 01:17:01,741
You could walk into a
party and snap your fingers

1793
01:17:01,742 --> 01:17:04,201
and five guys would
instantly lineup.

1794
01:17:04,202 --> 01:17:06,579
Three years of celibacy
was your choice

1795
01:17:06,580 --> 01:17:09,124
no matter how much you
bitched and moaned about it.

1796
01:17:10,709 --> 01:17:13,794
And you, you could have
snapped your fingers

1797
01:17:13,795 --> 01:17:17,089
and 10 guys would have lined
up to be that baby's father

1798
01:17:17,090 --> 01:17:21,887
but you're doing it on your
own because you're incredible.

1799
01:17:23,430 --> 01:17:26,058
How come she got 10
guys and I only got five?

1800
01:17:27,392 --> 01:17:28,893
Do you even like
hanging out with me?

1801
01:17:28,894 --> 01:17:31,228
Like, do you like
going clubbing?

1802
01:17:31,229 --> 01:17:32,647
Sure.

1803
01:17:32,648 --> 01:17:35,608
I love squeezing into a
throbbing mass of sweaty bodies.

1804
01:17:35,609 --> 01:17:38,319
Obscenely bright lights
drilling into my skull.

1805
01:17:38,320 --> 01:17:40,071
Music so loud I can smell it.

1806
01:17:40,072 --> 01:17:42,156
Filthy predators
armed with roofies

1807
01:17:42,157 --> 01:17:43,282
trying to get in my pants.

1808
01:17:43,283 --> 01:17:44,242
See.

1809
01:17:44,242 --> 01:17:45,242
We love it.

1810
01:17:48,330 --> 01:17:51,123
I sat in my car for an hour

1811
01:17:51,124 --> 01:17:53,001
hoping that one
of you would call.

1812
01:17:54,419 --> 01:17:56,420
I knew tonight was
our monthly thing.

1813
01:17:56,421 --> 01:17:57,255
We did call.

1814
01:17:57,256 --> 01:17:58,590
Why didn't you answer?

1815
01:17:59,675 --> 01:18:01,258
I was afraid I
would get emotional

1816
01:18:01,259 --> 01:18:03,095
and make a fool of myself.

1817
01:18:04,012 --> 01:18:05,096
Too late.

1818
01:18:05,097 --> 01:18:06,431
Why didn't you call us?

1819
01:18:07,432 --> 01:18:09,351
I was embarrassed.

1820
01:18:12,437 --> 01:18:13,689
Should we eat?

1821
01:18:16,024 --> 01:18:17,191
You guys go ahead.

1822
01:18:17,192 --> 01:18:19,443
I can't imagine
there's enough for me.

1823
01:18:19,444 --> 01:18:20,654
Oh yes there is.

1824
01:18:21,780 --> 01:18:25,157
Jess, do you I
really want to become

1825
01:18:25,158 --> 01:18:27,452
Miss Brains or Miss Personality?

1826
01:18:28,495 --> 01:18:29,787
Of course not.

1827
01:18:29,788 --> 01:18:32,623
But you two make me
feel like I should.

1828
01:18:32,624 --> 01:18:33,959
You're always growing.

1829
01:18:35,794 --> 01:18:38,879
I said what I said
about the three of us

1830
01:18:38,880 --> 01:18:41,966
because it gave me a
place alongside you two.

1831
01:18:41,967 --> 01:18:43,135
Something to be good at.

1832
01:18:44,469 --> 01:18:45,637
Being pretty.

1833
01:18:46,972 --> 01:18:49,056
You do get this cool
effect with your eyeshadow

1834
01:18:49,057 --> 01:18:50,683
that I'm dying to
have you teach me.

1835
01:18:50,684 --> 01:18:51,976
You see, that's the problem.

1836
01:18:51,977 --> 01:18:54,146
Soon you're going to be
the eye shadow expert.

1837
01:18:54,980 --> 01:18:56,480
It's six months later

1838
01:18:56,481 --> 01:18:59,024
and both of you are better
at being pretty than me.

1839
01:18:59,025 --> 01:19:02,988
But I'm no smarter and
probably even less likable.

1840
01:19:04,489 --> 01:19:07,492
I'm about to marry a good
man who I don't even deserve.

1841
01:19:08,660 --> 01:19:10,536
He's, like, honest and
keeps his promises.

1842
01:19:10,537 --> 01:19:12,037
Who does it?

1843
01:19:12,038 --> 01:19:15,207
Lynnie and I couldn't stop
thinking about you all evening.

1844
01:19:15,208 --> 01:19:17,084
We really missed you, Jess.

1845
01:19:17,085 --> 01:19:20,213
No, you two deserve
better than me.

1846
01:19:21,173 --> 01:19:23,007
So does Ron.

1847
01:19:23,008 --> 01:19:25,176
You don't have to grow

1848
01:19:25,177 --> 01:19:26,261
if you don't want to.

1849
01:19:27,679 --> 01:19:29,013
Really?

1850
01:19:29,014 --> 01:19:30,348
Of course not.

1851
01:19:31,516 --> 01:19:33,017
I'm no good at it.

1852
01:19:33,018 --> 01:19:36,521
Then don't grow, sweetie.
Stay this way forever.

1853
01:19:38,607 --> 01:19:40,108
I have no bridesmaids.

1854
01:19:41,526 --> 01:19:44,279
Actually, you've got two.

1855
01:19:50,744 --> 01:19:53,704
Candy, this place
looks very safe.

1856
01:19:53,705 --> 01:19:55,540
Yep. Totally baby-proof.

1857
01:19:56,917 --> 01:19:58,959
I was really rooting for
you to find a dude, you know.

1858
01:19:58,960 --> 01:20:00,544
To help.

1859
01:20:00,545 --> 01:20:01,796
I was too.

1860
01:20:01,797 --> 01:20:03,714
It seems just like
a really big thing

1861
01:20:03,715 --> 01:20:04,800
to take on by yourself.

1862
01:20:05,717 --> 01:20:06,926
Are you kidding?

1863
01:20:06,927 --> 01:20:08,761
Beanie and I are going
to have so much fun.

1864
01:20:08,762 --> 01:20:11,388
What if your kid
doesn't like you?

1865
01:20:11,389 --> 01:20:14,058
Then she's just going
to have to withstand

1866
01:20:14,059 --> 01:20:16,310
my relentless torrent of love.

1867
01:20:16,311 --> 01:20:17,311
Poor thing.

1868
01:20:18,772 --> 01:20:21,232
I wish you were my mother.

1869
01:20:21,233 --> 01:20:22,233
Oh!

1870
01:20:24,236 --> 01:20:26,320
I vote for dessert
before dinner.

1871
01:20:26,321 --> 01:20:27,948
Dessert before anything.

1872
01:20:31,243 --> 01:20:33,244
We're out of control.

1873
01:20:33,245 --> 01:20:35,830
That's the best idea
I've heard all night.

1874
01:20:35,831 --> 01:20:37,414
Oh, should we take
our monthly photo

1875
01:20:37,415 --> 01:20:38,791
before or after dinner?

1876
01:20:38,792 --> 01:20:41,001
We'll skinnier before we eat.

1877
01:20:41,002 --> 01:20:42,419
Actually,

1878
01:20:42,420 --> 01:20:45,506
you guys, I think I'm about
to get a lot skinnier.

1879
01:20:45,507 --> 01:20:47,508
You invented a new diet?

1880
01:20:47,509 --> 01:20:48,343
Oh my God.

1881
01:20:48,344 --> 01:20:50,261
She invents diets now.

1882
01:20:50,262 --> 01:20:52,429
Can someone drive
me to the hospital?

1883
01:20:52,430 --> 01:20:53,265
Now?

1884
01:20:53,266 --> 01:20:54,474
But we're about to eat.

1885
01:20:55,308 --> 01:20:56,350
Oh my God!

1886
01:20:56,351 --> 01:20:57,810
You're in labor!

1887
01:20:57,811 --> 01:20:58,936
She's not in labor, silly.

1888
01:20:58,937 --> 01:21:00,605
She's just going to have a baby.

1889
01:21:03,108 --> 01:21:04,441
Oh my God.

1890
01:21:04,442 --> 01:21:05,819
You're going to have a baby.

1891
01:21:07,445 --> 01:21:08,363
Call St. Joe's Hospital

1892
01:21:08,364 --> 01:21:09,446
and let them know I'm on my way.

1893
01:21:09,447 --> 01:21:10,614
Dr. Julia Ditman.

1894
01:21:10,615 --> 01:21:11,700
Okay. Okay.

1895
01:21:14,286 --> 01:21:15,703
Oh.

1896
01:21:15,704 --> 01:21:16,954
Hello?

1897
01:21:16,955 --> 01:21:18,707
I need the number for
the, for the hospital.

1898
01:21:20,125 --> 01:21:21,333
I, I don't know.

1899
01:21:21,334 --> 01:21:22,835
The St. One!

1900
01:21:22,836 --> 01:21:24,461
Candy, which city is this?

1901
01:21:24,462 --> 01:21:27,631
St. Joseph hospital
in Santa Monica.

1902
01:21:27,632 --> 01:21:28,633
Did you hear that?

1903
01:21:29,801 --> 01:21:31,468
Hello, hospital?

1904
01:21:31,469 --> 01:21:32,970
Hi.

1905
01:21:32,971 --> 01:21:34,889
Okay. My friend is like having
a baby literally right now

1906
01:21:34,890 --> 01:21:36,891
and she's totally freaking out.

1907
01:21:36,892 --> 01:21:39,060
She's afraid she's going
to be a bad mother.

1908
01:21:41,229 --> 01:21:43,314
What kind of a question is that?

1909
01:21:43,315 --> 01:21:45,149
Candy, what's your name?

1910
01:21:45,150 --> 01:21:46,901
Candace Waterman.

1911
01:21:46,902 --> 01:21:48,152
Candice Watery.

1912
01:21:48,153 --> 01:21:50,070
I think she's with Dr. Ditz.

1913
01:21:50,071 --> 01:21:51,906
Are you sure you
don't want an epidural?

1914
01:21:51,907 --> 01:21:53,490
No, no anesthetics.

1915
01:21:53,491 --> 01:21:56,243
She doesn't want an
epidermis. Or an appendix

1916
01:21:56,244 --> 01:21:58,162
Okay. I maybe
should take this call.

1917
01:21:58,163 --> 01:21:59,371
No, no no.

1918
01:21:59,372 --> 01:22:00,581
Please just let me use
my charm and niceness

1919
01:22:00,582 --> 01:22:02,334
to make this go
good. Just for once.

1920
01:22:03,501 --> 01:22:05,879
Okay. But just let
her do it, but hurry.

1921
01:22:08,089 --> 01:22:09,506
Okay. We're going to
be there in 10 minutes.

1922
01:22:09,507 --> 01:22:11,842
And if Candy doesn't
have a fancy room

1923
01:22:11,843 --> 01:22:13,219
I'm kicking asses.

1924
01:22:14,387 --> 01:22:16,555
No, no father. She
was ingratiated.

1925
01:22:16,556 --> 01:22:18,515
I'm going to get
the hospital bag.

1926
01:22:18,516 --> 01:22:20,434
I'll get the keys
and start the car.

1927
01:22:20,435 --> 01:22:21,685
But hurry.

1928
01:22:21,686 --> 01:22:23,406
Or I'm going to have
Beanie in the backseat.

1929
01:22:24,856 --> 01:22:27,024
No, no. I want a room upgrade

1930
01:22:27,025 --> 01:22:28,692
to the nicest one you have.

1931
01:22:28,693 --> 01:22:30,778
Just charge it to
my credit card.

1932
01:22:30,779 --> 01:22:32,780
And fill the room with flowers.

1933
01:22:32,781 --> 01:22:34,031
Fill it.

1934
01:22:34,032 --> 01:22:36,241
And charge that to my card too.

1935
01:22:36,242 --> 01:22:38,536
This is our first and I
want it to be perfect.

1936
01:22:40,705 --> 01:22:44,709
Okay. You guys let's
go make a baby.

1937
01:22:46,378 --> 01:22:47,420
You know what I meant.

1938
01:22:50,215 --> 01:22:51,382
Aw!

1939
01:22:51,383 --> 01:22:52,383
Oh, oh.

1940
01:22:53,551 --> 01:22:54,551
Right.

1941
01:23:01,393 --> 01:23:03,811
Do you remember when
the three were younger?

1942
01:23:03,812 --> 01:23:05,562
Did you ever wonder what
brought them together

1943
01:23:05,563 --> 01:23:07,064
in the first place?

1944
01:23:07,065 --> 01:23:08,065
I'll give you a hint.

1945
01:23:08,066 --> 01:23:09,818
It tastes really good.

1946
01:23:22,414 --> 01:23:23,580
Can I have cake?

1947
01:23:23,581 --> 01:23:25,582
Sure. What kind?

1948
01:23:25,583 --> 01:23:26,583
Devil Food.

1949
01:23:27,752 --> 01:23:30,338
Welcome to LA Province
Bakery. What can I get you?

1950
01:23:31,256 --> 01:23:32,256
Devil Food.

1951
01:23:33,091 --> 01:23:34,425
We have country veggie puree,

1952
01:23:34,426 --> 01:23:35,801
vegetarian French onion soup,

1953
01:23:35,802 --> 01:23:37,302
Turkey chili Fergil,

1954
01:23:37,303 --> 01:23:38,345
we have stretched.

1955
01:23:38,346 --> 01:23:39,472
Just Devil's Food cake?

1956
01:23:42,267 --> 01:23:44,019
Is Devil Food
your favorite too?

1957
01:23:47,272 --> 01:23:49,357
You don't look like
you like it very much.

1958
01:23:50,692 --> 01:23:51,942
I love the cake.

1959
01:23:51,943 --> 01:23:54,320
It's just everything
else about today.

1960
01:24:01,286 --> 01:24:05,456
Welcome to LA Province
Bakery. What can I get you?

1961
01:24:05,457 --> 01:24:07,333
A slice of Devil's Food. Cake.

1962
01:24:10,295 --> 01:24:11,796
Is that your favorite too?

1963
01:24:13,798 --> 01:24:14,799
It's the best.

1964
01:24:15,800 --> 01:24:17,135
It's her favorite too.

1965
01:24:20,221 --> 01:24:22,514
Then you must be very smart.

1966
01:24:22,515 --> 01:24:24,684
I'm too smart to
be fun, I guess.

1967
01:24:25,894 --> 01:24:26,811
I'm Lynette.

1968
01:24:26,812 --> 01:24:28,353
I'm Jessica.

1969
01:24:28,354 --> 01:24:30,689
I'm too pretty to
quit The Nutcracker.

1970
01:24:30,690 --> 01:24:31,899
I'm Candy.

1971
01:24:31,900 --> 01:24:33,651
But everyone calls me Sunshine.

1972
01:24:34,486 --> 01:24:35,820
I'm too sweet.

1973
01:24:37,822 --> 01:24:39,823
Here is Devil
Food cake for you.

1974
01:24:39,824 --> 01:24:42,326
And surprise, more
Devil Food cake.

1975
01:24:42,327 --> 01:24:45,162
Napkin. Please don't make mess.

1976
01:24:45,163 --> 01:24:47,540
This is not school cafeteria.

1977
01:24:51,002 --> 01:24:54,171
I'm cheering my mom up
because Grammy just died.

1978
01:24:54,172 --> 01:24:56,507
We don't tell
strangers our business.

1979
01:24:56,508 --> 01:24:58,009
They aren't strangers, mommy.

1980
01:24:58,843 --> 01:24:59,844
They're my friends.

1981
01:25:04,099 --> 01:25:06,101
Of course they are, Sunshine.

1982
01:25:12,107 --> 01:25:13,857
And now, enter me.

1983
01:25:13,858 --> 01:25:16,860
Yes, I'm Maddy. Or Beanie.

1984
01:25:16,861 --> 01:25:18,904
Or the test tube baby.

1985
01:25:18,905 --> 01:25:19,905
Whatever.

1986
01:25:24,369 --> 01:25:25,869
I was born that night,

1987
01:25:25,870 --> 01:25:28,705
thus ending one of the most
painful arguments in history:

1988
01:25:28,706 --> 01:25:30,541
Who is the most beautiful?

1989
01:25:30,542 --> 01:25:32,626
Because once I came along,

1990
01:25:32,627 --> 01:25:35,295
all three of my moms;
well, my mom, Candy,

1991
01:25:35,296 --> 01:25:37,131
and my two aunts,
Jessica and Lynette,

1992
01:25:37,132 --> 01:25:39,091
could suddenly
agree on the answer.

1993
01:25:39,092 --> 01:25:40,635
I am the most beautiful of all.

1994
01:25:41,719 --> 01:25:43,220
I think they're silly.

1995
01:25:43,221 --> 01:25:46,557
And they've been squeezing
me to pieces ever since then.

1996
01:25:46,558 --> 01:25:49,434
The thing is, all four
of us have beauty,

1997
01:25:49,435 --> 01:25:52,896
brains, personality,
and much, much more

1998
01:25:52,897 --> 01:25:56,109
because every person can be
whatever she chooses to be.

1999
01:25:57,902 --> 01:25:58,902
Hello.

2000
01:25:58,903 --> 01:26:00,904
Hey, we're starving.

2001
01:26:00,905 --> 01:26:02,948
And now if you'll, excuse me.

2002
01:26:02,949 --> 01:26:05,576
I have a dinner party
of my own to host,

2003
01:26:05,577 --> 01:26:06,785
for my two best friends

2004
01:26:06,786 --> 01:26:09,288
Open up. I'm
about to drop this cake.

2005
01:26:09,289 --> 01:26:11,583
Hey, why let a great
tradition go to waste?